now, whumper occasionally likes to set whumpee up. they'll hide the leftovers from the previous day, engrave a little scratch on some old boots whumpee had polished, dirty the cleaned laundry. and then they'll ask whumpee what did you do, and whumpee— terrified and out of their mind, would whimper and shake and plead for mercy, still clinging to their little truths— still keen to justify— until whumper would beat those out of whumpee.

too scared to ask for affection

testing the waters with “casual” brushes

“please, don’t go…”

meeting a naturally physically affectionate person and being thrown for a loop

freezing up when receiving physical affection and not knowing how to react

being uncomfortable when they do receive affection

seeking out hobbies associated with physical contact (dancing, wrestling, …)

watching someone hug and feeling envy

taking long, hot showers to simulate touch

hugging self in bed to self soothe

trying to replace human affection with animal companions

learning to ask for hugs and cuddles

once they feel comfortable with it, they become insatiable for touch

(is also sometimes called “skin hunger” and i just think that’s sick)

a cold chill shudders down their spine as they desperately try to wrack their brains for any memory of killing their target. nothing comes up.

this is the fifth time, they think, wrapping their gear up methodically. handler will be checking in anytime soon. they can't— can't stop. dread skitters throughout the entirety of them. what is happening to them?

they don't know if they want to know. everytime they— blank out, the scene that greets them is— it's gruesome. it's horrid. horrible. cleanup is a bitch.

and they know that they can't let anyone know. they'll be deactivated, if they do. faulty weapons are nothing but liabilities, after all. would you want a gun that might not shoot when it must? or worse: if it goes off randomly?

whumpee is delirious from the fever, sweating and shaking and shivering. caretaker smooths a chilly hand over their clammy skin. whumpee keens low in their throat, curling towards the touch like a sunflower following sunlight. the touch leaves. it is immediately replaced by a cold compress.

even as caretaker feels strangely upset, they watch as whumpee falls asleep and change the compresses all night, boil then some soup, give them a gentle scrub down.

hello! <3 yes!! I love scar discoveries so much! always delightful.

whumpee getting too careless in the locker room. since it was getting terribly late and no one was around, they get undressed— only for their friend or caretaker to walk out of the shower stalls. whumpee never told anyone anything beyond the basic rundown. upon hearing the horrified gasp they immediately put something on, hurrying to leave.

during their first bath after many, many days, caretaker politely asks whumpee to get ready. any sense of shame regarding their state of undress was thoroughly destroyed while they were captured. they haven't seen themself in a mirror for so long— and they have a vague idea of scarring on their back, but they don't realise how bad it is until they turn around to see caretaker's anguished expression. it is surprising. they didn't expect any... compassion. caretaker asks if they can hold them. whumpee can only nod as they are pulled into caretaker's arms.

back of the canvas

arching spine

brows knitting together / grimacing

clenching teeth together

cold sweats

collapsing to knees

covering the hurting area

crying out / screaming / yelping

disorientation / confusion

doubling over / curling in / stumbling

dropping objects

eyesight blurring / blacking out

flinching / jerking

flushing / going pale/ashy

gasping / hissing

going rigid / tensing up

goosebumps

holding breath and sharply exhaling after

inability to speak / babbling incoherently

lightheadedness

lips pulling back, baring teeth

nausea

nostrils flaring

protective posture

rapid blinking

reaching out for something to hold onto to avoid falling

ringing ears

squeezing eyes shut

tears welling / crying

voice cracking

vomiting

they don't have a family, or anyone really, so as soon as they are discharged from the hospital, they have to find a job and a place to stay. their lack of an education has them working in the worst workplace conditions, with abysmal hours and subpar pay. they can barely afford the bills for their shabby apartment.

their meals are far and few in between. when they aren't asleep on their feet, they are weighed down by fatigue and pain that won't go. they keep waking up with a scream lodged in their throat.

Likes and dislikes, a personality of any kind wasn’t conducive to the life they had lived up until now, and it felt like they were starting from scratch.

but one day they look disgruntled, vaguely annoyed. whumpee doesn't know why caretaker seems distant and unreachable. they want to apologize, but they don't know if it might aggravate them further.

it all comes to a head when whumpee keeps fidgeting— maybe with their sleeve, or they keep bouncing their leg, or twisting and pulling at their hair— and caretaker briskly orders them to stop it. whumpee goes very still and tense, stammering, "I, I'm sorry— can you, will you, um," caretaker is not in a good mood, and it seems as though it's only getting worse by their stammering, "pleasedon'tsendmeback."