who wants to live forever?

Alright. This song aside, how could I increase my joy levels?

Watching Taskmaster, listening to my anthem (like JENNIE), hosting a solo singalong to ABBA, shaking ass to Siouxsie and the Banshees ... there are so many ways.

Don't threaten me with a good time. I even know a great country club. I do think I was almost murdered the last time I went, but that was barely even related to the actual club.

Almost got murdered??? Tell me more, that sounds like a plot to a great shitty movie!

What's a Chain Bastard? Are you just making up words? I'm hoping to find something a little more discounted, tbh. Like, I don't have a huge budget, you know? And the stuff at the sex shop isn't really strong enough for me.

No, it's from Taskmaster. It's someone who chains you up and tickles you with feathers, mostly performed by the gorgeous Susan Wokoma. Well, if you get discounted chains, they might break during sex. But it's your funeral if you wanna cheapskate your enjoyment.

[pm] Ooooh yes, put on some oil before you go. Make you shine in the sun.

Well, the […] weird weather we’ve been having has finally cleared up. Which means things are just weird again. Like “I think the rocks in my garden have gained sentience, and are now following me” weird.

[pm] WAIT, what does this mean? Magic back? Rosemary Recharged? Can I sleep again??

You know anytime you break out the bestern accent I'll do a little dance, just for old times! :)

Yeehaw, we should linedance.

Babe, I think you're stretching your joy a bit thin

Right?! Thank you for noticing.

Why would you hate such a catchy song? Do you have no joy in your heart?

I don't have a humiliation kink, because I don't find it humiliating to talk about this kind of thing publicly.

Oh then good for you. So are you looking for your very own Chain Bastard, then? I get it. I guess you can go to a hardware or sex store. Funny how much those intersect!

[pm] I dunno, I feel like they have a bit of personality. Like, I dunno. Some jolly yellow fellas would defo rock it. Oh, you're so right about that. Moaning the name Bob? Gag!

[pm] Sure, Spongebob is a jolly fellow and a good employee, but is he fuckable? [....] He is hole-y. But then nope, we can't be moaning that name, especially now that I've made the sponge connection.

@whimmortal replied to your post “what are your feet like?”:

[pm] Nah.... couldn't be.... booze don't make you forget things...

[pm] Wait... you might be right... surely if I had forgotten something because of booze I'd remember!