Rosemary Kane

Might I suggest a will? You know, just in case something like that happens. Wouldn't want to leave your loved ones out to dry because some giant human eating plant made the walking epitome of cotton candy a snack.

Well I survived being lightly sta I mean I don't think I'm I'm not going to die anyti I have to stay up for Owen's sake, and I'm wildly stubborn so I don't know if there would be much fighting over my worldly possessions. It wasn't a giant plant yet. Like small cat sized.

The elderly should have their tits out too. Also wouldn't that make your job easier? Might lead to less people.

No. No, if anything, topless tuesday would make things worse.

Ah. That I'm not sure about. Distracting it with meat and using direct sunlight might keep it incapacitated long enough to try and move it. But with no guarantee, that's risky work. There's the possibility that I'm immune to its wiles but I'll be honest and say I don't want to find out

Huh. [...] Are they endangered? Am I going to have a hammer drop on me if I take a weedwhacker to it, for the sake of not getting bit or having my duck bit?

How else are you going to assert dominance? I just think if you were really interested in taking back your pond, you'd bite the plant.

Well apparently the plant has some super fun paralytic thing, so I don't want to get close enough to it to even attempt biting it back. There are other options for revenge. Most notably, a weed whacker.

Yes, of course. I believe it often puts its prey to sleep, then paralyzes them and finally digests them. [...] You mentioned a duck. I would keep careful watch over that, with a vinemaw on your property.

.... Well that's. Not great. At all. Don't you worry about Donald Thee Duck, he's safe and sound. Any tips on how to transplant the angry biting plant with a paralytic agent?

Yeah, it would suck major ass to get swallowed by a carnivorous plant, huh?

It would for sure put a damper on my day.

Oh fun! Can't wait to see what other weird and wacky shenanigans come my way. Hopefully none of them kill me

Yep! Oh you poor sweet summer child It'll be fine great.

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Okay. Love the enthusiasm. Love it. But again, can I petition for like. An exception? I work with the elderly, and I feel like we'd be experiencing an uptick in coronary related incidents if I just started walking around titties out.

Awww, a duck pond! That sounds really nice. You have to admire all of the beautiful nature a place like Maine can off--wait...there's carnivorous plants now? What next, giant attack koalas that drop down from the trees?

Yep. Big ole bitey plants. I'm pretty sure you're safe from drop bears though. I'm like 99% positive those are a myth. Plus this is Maine. Not like we see a wealth of normal koalas in this area.

Please keep it away from the ducks if it is indeed carnivorous! Most carnivorous plants just eat bugs but one can never be too careful. I'll have my fingers crossed it's a Poison Ivy era for you. If that's what you want it to be.

I mean, I fully planned on it. The pond was built for one specific duck. I'm not letting a pissy murder plant eat my duck. And I don't think I'm looking for plant based superpowers. Control over dead plants could be cool though... convenient too when there's not a body around and I need an assist

Why does it not surprise me that there are bitey plants in a place where there shouldn't be bitey plants...Maybe this is your Little Shop of Horrors era origin story instead. But if you bust into song and dance, I'm out.

I'm really not looking to bust out into Suddenly Seymour. Mostly because act 2 doesn't look to great for my girl Audrey.

I'm familiar with these particular beasties. You're very lucky that its paralytic didn't get you, otherwise you would have been quite the meal. I would suggest offering it a steak as a distraction and then exposing it to direct sunlight. That won't kill it, mind you, but will slow it down.

There's a paralytic???? That's fucking TERRIFYING something. I appreciate the tip. The last thing I need is a production of Little Shop of Horrors unfolding in my back yard.

Would you take a bite?

...Of... the plant? The plant that bit me? You're asking if I'd bite it back?