Welcome?

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

(guy who tags every single post as the same exact character) you know who this post reminds me of?

capitalism likes to act like it’s the big grown up who takes life seriously but the entire system is based on such laughably childish goals that a fucking 6th grader could tell you it’s unsustainable. trying to always beat your previous profit record is not only an obviously impossible goal, it shows a complete lack of forethought, and is also, completely pointless. it’s not the shrewd mindset of a master strategist, it’s the impulsive drive of an addict, always looking for a better high. its the kid who eats too much candy on halloween and gets sick. it’s childish and honestly just fucking dumb.

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

I think it's about time for a musical adaptation of the stand and/or the dark tower

i'd make a joke about "let the HUSBAND giggle under the covers and tell HIS WIFE to put that camera away before dying before HIS WIFE'S story starts" but lets be real he'd still get more fanart

The best thing about tumblr is you can just make a criticism of a very specific person completely unprompted and then that person will appear as if summoned in your notes to prove your point for you.