Weird Mario Enemies

Name: Lethal Lava Land Debut: Super Mario 64

Look. As your Weird Mario Worlds Tour Guide, I need to intervene here: you can NOT be planning a vacation to Lethal Lava Land. I mean, it literally has "Lethal" in the name! There are plenty of better lands you can visit. Shifting Sand Land, that's a good one. Yoshi's Is-Land, that's a lovely place. Anywhere would be better than Lethal Lava Land.

I mean shoot, I tried to bring a postcard from this place, but when I went back to look at it, it was just a pile of ash! A pile of ash much larger than the postcard itself, mind you. I'm a little concerned with how it produced that much ash, but it should be a good indicator of just how hot Lethal Lava Land is!

...What? You're still insisting you want to check out Lethal Lava Land. Well, it's your funeral. That's what it said on the postcard! "Don't Come to Lethal Lava Land! It's Your Funeral!"

Well. I suppose I have a job to do then. Gotta put imaginary bread on the table for my imaginary wife and imaginary kids. (The table itself is very real.)

You might be looking for positives if you're so insistent on taking a vacation to Lethal Lava Land, but there really isn't any. Not even the local populace is friendly! It's mostly Bullies. They're gonna try to steal your lunch money and push you into the lava. Oh right, most of Lethal Lava Land is lava. You might've inferred that from the fact it's called Lethal Lava Land.

If you don't like being Bullied, then I guess you can stop by and visit Mr. I. I'm sure he's trying to look out for you by blowing bubbles to cool you off, but make no mistake: those bubbles HURT. There is no reprieve in Lethal Lava Land. Even the bubbles are deadly. The bubbles!

As far as local attractions go, you do have the world's most heat-resistant log, which I guess is something. It's kind of impressive. Usually wood gets used as kindling, so it's impressive there's one completely in tact in a place that's so Lava it's Lethal. So impressive, I'm not buying it. It's probably plexiglass or something.

What else? There's this drawbridge. I'm not really sure why it's here. There's not a ton of boats sailing on the lava on account of it's lava. I don't think there's anything to gain by putting a drawbridge here. It really just exists to inconvenience you unless you're some kinda super talented shell surfer. But don't overestimate your ability lest you end up taking a swim in the world's deadliest hot tub.

As far as entertainment goes, there's really just this slide puzzle. I guess that's pretty cool if you like slide puzzles, but I must warn you: this puzzle is really big, constantly shuffling itself, and also depicting local Bad Guy King Morton Bowser Koopa Sr., so putting any effort into solving it is probably a bad idea.

Most you can do is sit by and try to watch it solve itself. Which to be fair... is kinda entertaining in its own way, but knowing how things are these days there's probably someone livestreaming it 24/7.

As far as natural wonders go, you have the inside of the volcano, but when I have to list "going inside an active volcano" as a point in favor of a vacation destination, it may as well be a lost cause.

I mean look at the evil fucking painting you have to step through to even reach Lethal Lava Land! Is this something you hang up when you want to welcome people to your home?!

I'm sorry, but I don't think there's any reason you should go to Lethal Lava Land. All you'll find if you do make the trip is a pool of lava filled with random assets the developers made and had nowhere else to put. I guess it's a kind of place you don't get to see much anymore, since these days people are concerned with "level design" and "realism"...

Hello! This is Mod Chikako, addressing you by using the default, frowning Chikako art, rather than an edited version where it is smiling, as I typically would... why might that be? Well, I do have a sad update to share. As of late, I've been making posts because I feel like I have to in order to meet deadlines, not because I want to. I end up procrastinating, and then trying to make long posts, because that's what I'm used to doing lately, and it gets stressful, and I don't get enough sleep. It ends up being just another responsibility. And I don't want it to be like that! I want to have fun!

So... posts here will be slowing down significantly. I myself will be taking a hiatus and seeing how I feel, but the blog will not be ending! Maybe posts will stay regular but be much shorter, like they were in the beginning. Maybe they'll just be posted whenever we feel like it. We don't know yet!

If you are a fan of our creative stylings, then you should know that plenty of us mods have our own ongoing personal creative endeavors that we'd all love for you to see!

Mod Chikako - Mosquito Pupa Comics

A simple, silly comic in which mosquito pupae get into all sorts of wacky situations that I think would be amusing!

Mod Hooligon - Goober Grove

A slice of life webcomic touring the surreal day-to-day of a trio of friends from Goober Grove, WV. New comic strips published on Sundays!

Mod Shyster - fuchsiabomb (18+)

comics, standalone pieces, fanart and more!

Mod Sockop - Nimalings

A Creature Design Project! Set in a world with rich history and lore, populated by living stars, carbon-based lifeforms, objectmon & waking dreams! All of these creatures sharing a mythical ancestry!

Mod Uminoko's BlueSky

Mod Cat Flopter's YouTube

Really, truly... thank you so much, from all of us! Whether you've been following the blog for years or months or weeks, whether you've just seen some posts here and there... if we've ever made you smile or giggle, thank you. The silly is what we treasure most!

Name: Moundo

Debut: Kirby's Return to Dream Land

Moundo's like one of those guys who's a mound of something. You know? Like when you meet a guy who's a mound of melting-but-not-entirely-liquid cheese, or a mound of raw flour? That genre of guy. Moundo is a mound of Rock, which is one of the least amorphous kinds of mound guy... how does this affect his performance? His career trajectory? Let's see what this mound, brings to town! d

He's a big rock. You know what he does. He tries to crush protagonists! There have been some small rocks in Kirby, such as Rocky. Some medium rocks, such as the somewhat-misleadingly-named Giant Rocky, who is smaller than Moundo. Moundo is just a big rock, and that's great! He's grumpy, because he's a bad guy, and they have to be grumpy to show that it's acceptable to hurt them.

Moundo is such a funny name! He is a mound, isn't he? Yeah. Well his Japanese name translates to MOUNDEATH. It's quite a name! But I think Moundo suits him just fine. Of course, he is more than just a mere mound, with his striped headband, his frosted tips that looks like snowy peaks, and his sandals. He runs in his sandals! Don't do that. Speaking of his sandals, it's a bit odd his feet are yellow, isn't it? Almost as if his skin is naturally yellow, and the rocky exterior is just a disguise... let's just say he's not named MounD'OH for nothing!

Now THIS is Blocky. Blocky has a more interesting history than Moundo, he's gotten up to plenty more funny doings, but this isn't Blocky's post. Blocky has plenty, and Moundo has little. Blocky appeared a bit in the early days of the series, and then stopped appearing, with there being no Stone mid-boss until Moundo! Big rock fellas were back on the menu... and then Blocky made a triumphant return in Triple Deluxe, replacing Moundo, and becoming a series mainstay. Moundo only ever got to appear again when his debut game was remade. Poor pile of polygons!

Could the more powerful Moundo EX dethrone Blocky...? It doesn't matter because there's Blocky DX. Moundo gets nothing... though the black-and-yellow headband on Moundo EX is pretty cool! Predators won't try to attack him, because they'll mistake him for a wet floor sign!

Name: Maizō

Debut: Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3

This crab... oh, what do I think of this crab? I think it's well past time I talk about this crab! I always adore the Super Mario Land 2/3 enemy artwork style, and at this point it's become nostalgic to me! I love those little vertical oval pupils. How darling. And I love how many gloves are present in these depictions! Everyone's wearing them! No one wants their hands dirty, least of all this crab who spends most of its time buried underground!

It's obvious what they were going for with Maizō. Whenever you encounter one, it's holding a big ol' coin, worth 10 coins! Clearly, they were trying to evoke Mr. Krabs with this enemy. They thought that if they could bring to mind such an iconic character, the game would be even more popular! Unfortunately, they hit an unexpected issue. It turns out Wario Land released in 1994, five years before the first SpongeBob episode aired. Nobody knew who Mr. Krabs was yet, not even any of the game designers! What a bummer!

While it's clearly a coin, I have just never been able to stop thinking that Maizō looks like it's holding a communion wafer. A real Katholic Krab. It must hide its treasured Jesus Snack, because it's just so delicious, that any other critter would want to eat it right away! Spread some Mary Marmalade on it, and you've got quite a divine delicacy!

I really like how many different limb types Maizō has. Big claws for... well, I would think they're for fighting, but it's using them for clutching. Little hands for manipulating objects, such as the steering wheel of the bus it drives for a living. And on the bottom, little feets, for operating the pedals of the bus it drives for a living.