We're just a guy that wants to blab out about his experience living with a CDD like I'm in the shower talking to a wall.
I use he/they in general & we/us/our when typing about myself because I think it's funny.
I have little to no communication with our headmates, & thusly struggle to treat them as apart of myself (They're also all either mean or stupid & I HATE ALL OF THEM.).
We're also pretty badly disordered (shocker, I know), & can be unstable or overreact when I feel wronged in some arbitrary or justified way.
DNI LIST
Proshippers/darkshippers (taps the trauma sign)
Pro-para/Pro-contact (^See above for my reasoning.)
Anti-neoprns/Anti-xenogenders
Radqueers (^^See above for my reasoning, also, I'm disabled.)
Anyone that uses excessive typing quirks without translations.
Cool edit
I'll start tagging non cdd/sys related posts with like, #unrelated from now on
I'm also never doing that stupid sign off shit with the lil emoji combo, nah fuh that, none of my chud alters would actually use a sign off besides Rebel & nobody fucking likes him
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Endos always claim they aren't saying they have CDDs, but then there's Endos harass people making resources for CDDs?
It's interesting, isn't it? That disabled people are being roused for the simple desire of something for their own?
We're a little surprised, honestly, that ANY endos are bothered by dissociapedia. You already HAVE pluralpedia, it's specifically for YOU. Right?
Dissociapedia isn't meant for endos, it's meant for people with CDDs. It's SO bizarre to us, really. It feels like something there shouldn't be push-back on.
I feel the need to ask of endos; why? Do the majority of you dislike dissociapedia? If not, what's your assessment of the anon?
(Just replying here because I really hate how "see all replies" works on tumblr and it's getting super annoying to scroll through everything just to see the whole conversation we've had here.)
Conversation up until now underneath cut:
Op: When you say peodphilia ships are weird and the 26 year old "fandom mama" starts talking about some "pro-censorship" shit [tags include various fandoms, including #peter parker]
Me [after seeing a comment (that admittedly I now cannot find) saying something along the lines of "I want these people to know I think they're awful"]: Tagging this as Peter Parker omgggg. I'm guessing you wanted to get the attention of someone like me who's definitely enjoyed problematic Peter/Quentin in the past? 👀
Op: who tf are u?? 😭
Me: Just someone who apparently spent far too much time last night lurking on the Peter Parker tag and somehow ended up seeing this post 🤣
I admit, on the face of it, your words alone seem kind of reasonable - but then you're clearly trying to bait pro-shippers into getting mad at you or something. I scrolled the comments for two seconds and saw you saying something about how you want us proshippers to know you hate us. So sure, sue me, I've taken the bait. I enjoy reading about Peter Parker getting raped, and I'm not really fussed about if he's turned 18 or not. And yeah, I can imagine that seems super weird to someone who isn't into that! That's chill with me. But I get the feeling you don't just think it's weird, but that you think it's inherently wrong. If I'm mistaken, my apologies. If I'm not, then what's the problem you're seeing with this that I'm not?
Op: do you NOT think rape, pedophilia, abuse, etc are inherently wrong?
Me: Yes, in real life, where real people are being harmed, of course! I also think that murder is inherently wrong, but I love crying over the fictional deaths of beloved characters, too, and no-one ever says that's weird. It's never made me want to actually see someone killed, just like reading abusive Snape/Harry when I was 16 never made me want to be raped by a teacher myself - but yeah, I did enjoy experiencing the feelings second-hand through a fictional, safe medium. I don't want my partner to actually rape or abuse me, but I do enjoy being tied up and hit a bit and pretending I don't want to be there in a consensual, pre-agreed scene, because it turns me on 🤷🏼♀️ I can't say why, and it's not for everyone definitely, but it's a pretty damn common kink.
Op: being sad over the death of your favorite fictional character is nowhere near comparable getting sexual enjoyment from consuming content about characters getting abused and taken advantage of in the absolute worst ways possible. enjoying abuse in any shape or way is not a kink, just bc it’s fictional does not mean it’s any less harmful, especially when you feel gratification after consuming said content. that is WEIRDDD.
Me: I find the view "just because it's fictional doesn't mean it's any less harmful" extremely weird and disconcerting. An actual child experiencing abuse is being harmed infinitely more than Peter Parker, for example, ever can, because he's fictional.
And like, I'm getting emotional gratification over fictional murders? I eat that shit up, I wallow in it, I love characters being miserable about the deaths around them. And quite often it's a similar gratification I'm going after with rape/abuse stories - it's the hurt/comfort of it all, the character having been through the worst and being changed and shaky and terrified and other people rallying around them. And I would say that dying is also one of the worst things that can happen to a person! Certainly I know several victims of SA for whom the worst thing that they would say happened in their life was a friend or family member dying. Why is it weird for me to be getting emotional pleasure out of one universally awful experience but not another?
And then yeah, at other times like I said before, I enjoy these stories because they're hot. And that is a kink. You might think people shouldn't act on their kink, but it's a pretty well-researched phenomenon at this point that many people like fantasising about rape; even in libraries the romance corner is packed with these ravishment fantasy type stories.
It's admirable to care so much about abuse victims. But many pro-shippers are abuse victims, too, and find refuge and catharsis in fictional depictions of what happened to them. And I think that saying that writing or enjoying certain fanfic is on the exact same level as literally abusing a living human being is extremely disrespectful to the actual victims of abuse.
Other commenter 1: Bro really told you, without being asked, that they enjoy reading rape fantasies since a kid and then enjoys playing out rape fantasies and doesn’t think “Hm. Maybe there’s a connection between what I consume and the paraphilias I display…”
Me: Oh, there's certainly a connection. Reading fics with a wide variety of different kinks has given me a good understanding of which ones I like and which ones I don't, for sure.
From your tone, it seems you have a problem with something I've said, and while I could try to guess, I'd probably misjudge in some way. So if you'd care to elaborate, I'd be happy to hear you out and discuss whatever's bothering you.
[unavailable] : This reply is unavailable.
Other commenter 2: How bad are minstrel shows to you then, because it's not like, active violence against minorities right? It's just a type of theatre show, thusly fictional; by your definition not nearly as bad as something like lynching
Your comment: How bad are minstrel shows to you then, because it's not like, active violence against minorities right? It's just a type of theatre show, thusly fictional; by your definition not nearly as bad as something like lynching
Well, for starters, yes, I do think lynchings are worse than minstrel shows? Do you not? I mean, I don't think it's actually useful to compare the harms caused by both as better or worse than the other, but since I've been asked outright then, yeah, I don't think even an extremely harmful form of theatre and propaganda is as bad as the normalisation of outright killing people?
And I don't think minstrel shows are at all comparable to fanfiction. They were a national artform, the first uniquely US-ian form of theatre; they were front and centre of the USA's music industry in the early-mid 1800s, and were popular for a long time after. They were more or less the only exposure that many white Americans had to Black "culture" - and of course, it was no true representation. Their legacy includes perpetuating stereotypes of Black people as being lazy and uneducated, but cheerful and eager to please their masters, as well as allowing for the entertainment industry to ignore Black actors in favour of white actors in blackface, to name just two long-term harms.
I do not think that fanfiction is in any way in the same league in terms of the either cultural impact it is able to impress, or in the real, material harms it causes. Despite the fact that, yes, fanfiction has become more mainstream than it was ten years ago, it is still, at it's core, a fringe hobby, and often written by marginalised people who are, in one way or another, looking to reclaim a beloved piece of media for themselves. I am honestly astounded that you think it's appropriate to compare fanfiction to minstrel shows.
Of course, fiction is something that can affect the way that we think. Most media made in the USA, for example, carries either an implicit or explicit assumption that the armed forces are necessary and good - an assumption that one has to stop and actively question to prevent it from becoming one of your own biases. Consuming fanfiction uncritically could also certainly affect your biases, despite the fact that it most certainly does not have the same reach as mainstream media - but crucially, the vast majority of explicit fanfic about incest, rape, pedophilia etc. carries the assumption that this is a bad thing. Taboo kink isn't about normalising these as things that should happen in real life - it's about exploring extreme, total powerlessness with the knowledge that this is a bad thing that's happening!
I know that there is a chance that abusers might use fics like these to groom children. That is a horrifying atrocity, and something that should be stopped. But getting rid of this sort of fic would not stop groomers from finding a way to get to children. Should we say that children should not be given gifts, because groomers often use the normalisation of gift-giving to get to children? Abusers have been known to infiltrate the anti community, to enable them to appear to be a "safe" adult, since they're loudly arguing against "unsafe" fanfic.
So, I simply do not believe that children would see an increase in their material safety if these fics were removed. Indeed, I have heard multiple accounts of people who have figured out that a situation they were in was abusive because of fanfic. That's not to say that this sort of fic is inherently good, either; but in my opinion, it is morally neutral, and finding a kink weird or disgusting or uncomfortable or incomprehendable does not make it morally wrong.
I am honestly astounded that you think it's appropriate to compare fanfiction to minstrel shows.
You shouldn't be?
As someone so 'educated' as yourself, you should know that rape, pedophillia, & incest, are all things deeply rooted in the white supremacist power structure &—especially with incest—purity culture.
& regardless of it's 'appropriateness', as a black man we think I'm in my right to bring these things up. Especially after noticing that the pro-fiction community, while claiming to be anti-censorship, remains dead silent whenever the harm of fictional content towards poc is brought up.
Pisses me off how many people larp as child soldiers
Like yeah, you were abused, that much is clear, but you're winter soldier ass backstory? We'd like to see you explain it to the kids being used as meat shields by the Iranian Guard Corps.
Oh wait! You can't They're being shot & killed as we speak!
It's also just incredibly disrespectful to soldiers & their families in general, coming from someone who was lucky enough to have his dad come home from Afghanistan, stolen valour isn't a joke.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Soldier programmed alter culture is constantly having to physically shake away the thoughts of killing the only people you care about. Shaking away the constant images of the animals you were forced to kill as practice. Feeling guilt when you want to kill something just to make it stop. Because every life is precious and should end as painlessly as possible, and its so selfish to even think this way. But it hurts so badly.
What the hell does "soldier programmed" mean?
Now I understand child soldiers are very real thing, my dad has seen it himself, but none of this seems even remotely indicative of that as child soldiers are very rarely young enough to develop DID as a seven year olds aren't going to fight nearly as well as a thirteen year old; though it does happen in particularly conflict-heavy areas like the middle east.
I just don't know what to make of it & if anyone would be willing to explain what the hell that means, that'd be great.
★ ANTI-HARASSMENT TOWARDS EX-RADQUEERS/EX-PROSHIPPERS & CHILD PROSHIT/RADQUEERS. The last thing someone trying to do right needs to hear is a death threat or told they'll always be a piece of shit. if someone is making a GENUINE effort to change, allow them space to do so while also holding them accountable.
★ AGAINST ALL FETISHIZATION OF CHILDREN/RAPE/INCEST EVEN IN FANTASY & FICTION. FICTION AFFECTS REALITY.
I've been noticing a lot of people in the radqueer community hiding behind vague harmful identities. Here is a short dictionary of what they really mean, with sources:
Xenosatanism
abolition of age of consent
pro bestiality
pro 'real cp'
believes in "non-consensual but harmless sexual interaction" and its legalization
also, this paragraph: "Destigmatization and desacralization to some extent of rape, molestation, sexual abuse (bcs of a priori and retrospective harm induced by internalized social norms. Tho, we don’t want harmful rape to be fully legal)"
Basedqueer
pro nonconsensual abuse
pro "cisharmfuls who arent seeking recovery / want to get worse"
pro real cults, harassment, self harm and eating disorder encouragement
pro contact
pro "minor made porn / minor sexual material"
Lacedqueer
pro rape and noncon abuse
meant to be a combination between basedqueer and LSDqueer
Noxiaqueer
pro bestiality
pro CP
pro xenosatanism and basedqueer
"neutral" and "flexible" about stalking, harassment, suicide baiting, cults, rape, and non consensual activities
LSDqueer
pro rape
pro CP
Alternatefreak
pro harassment, abuse, cults, and murder
see also: "Pro abuse terminology on Tumblr", and my screenshot of what "MSM/MMP" means (minor sexual material / minor made pornography) (edit: hyperlinks broke in this paragraph, edited to fix)
Wow. Hi. Didn't think I'd be here.
I want to preface by saying I am not the host or 'AMy', it's important I mention that, alongside stating we are of the same body, andb accountability falls on all of us.
Now, I want to say I'm sorry.
Lashing out like that was immature, it was spiteful and childish.
Frankly it was completely inappropriate of AMy, even if he thought he was justified in doing so.
Dropping blog names in particular was bad, and I don't want it to be taken as a call to harass anyone, stirring up petty drama like that is pretty obviously dangerous to everyone involved.
no, say it how it is. you have a cdd, right? this is all part of You. You did this. dont use half of your stupid paragraph to be like "im not the host or AMy!" all of you did this, you even said in your tags youre 'usually better at stopping this' so? why didnt you do it this time?
why did you allow yourself to actively harrass someone? you still have the post with the blog name up. you still called someone a 'stupid cunt', as if cunt isnt a word rooted in misogony. your apology is garbage and you should do better. get off the internet if this is something you are prone to.
its not 'controversy', it is not 'petty drama' IT IS YOU HARRASSING SOMEONE. do better.
I have a vagina
Also, I don't know what Officer's talking about with the stopping me thing, I only remember him doing so once. & I'm pretty sure he only clarified he wasn't me because he knew that I don't like when they touch my stuff & that I'd delete the post immediately otherwise
Also, if this was on literally any other site, what I did would not be considered harassment, you guys are weak asfff
You're weak asf because one uncensored blog name is making you piss your pants. Plus, in none of my posts made against the poly blog or the sa1nt blog did I once call for people to harass them, soooo what's your rebuttal against that? :3
Again, I am not a man, I have a vagina, I myself have been a long time victim of misogyny; so even after that I am not allowed to use a term that has been levied against me in the past?
M'kayyy, I see I see.
If it helps any, I'm aussie, every cunt here is saying it, it's become apart of our culture & thusly has far less hateful connotations because it has long been reclaimed.
Are you to deny me part of my culture as an australian?
????what the fuck are you talking aboyt lmao??? my "rebuttal against that" is sure you Didnt call anyone to harrass but you were still cruel to a random stranger for Having Boundries. even if it isnt harrasment its still not. a good thing to do.
I swear to god if a child has stepped into this conversation I'm gonna crash the fuck outtt, this is not a conversation a child should be included innnn. Okay. Whatever.
Obviously I knew I was using it as an insult for fucks sake, it's called NOT BEING NICE TO PEOPLE WHO SUCK!
& I wasn't "being cruel" to someone for having boundaries, I was being "cruel" to someone for having a shitty ideology that ends up being ultimately harmful for EVERYONE
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Wow. Hi. Didn't think I'd be here.
I want to preface by saying I am not the host or 'AMy', it's important I mention that, alongside stating we are of the same body, andb accountability falls on all of us.
Now, I want to say I'm sorry.
Lashing out like that was immature, it was spiteful and childish.
Frankly it was completely inappropriate of AMy, even if he thought he was justified in doing so.
Dropping blog names in particular was bad, and I don't want it to be taken as a call to harass anyone, stirring up petty drama like that is pretty obviously dangerous to everyone involved.
no, say it how it is. you have a cdd, right? this is all part of You. You did this. dont use half of your stupid paragraph to be like "im not the host or AMy!" all of you did this, you even said in your tags youre 'usually better at stopping this' so? why didnt you do it this time?
why did you allow yourself to actively harrass someone? you still have the post with the blog name up. you still called someone a 'stupid cunt', as if cunt isnt a word rooted in misogony. your apology is garbage and you should do better. get off the internet if this is something you are prone to.
its not 'controversy', it is not 'petty drama' IT IS YOU HARRASSING SOMEONE. do better.
I have a vagina
Also, I don't know what Officer's talking about with the stopping me thing, I only remember him doing so once. & I'm pretty sure he only clarified he wasn't me because he knew that I don't like when they touch my stuff & that I'd delete the post immediately otherwise
Also, if this was on literally any other site, what I did would not be considered harassment, you guys are weak asfff
You're weak asf because one uncensored blog name is making you piss your pants. Plus, in none of my posts made against the poly blog or the sa1nt blog did I once call for people to harass them, soooo what's your rebuttal against that? :3
Again, I am not a man, I have a vagina, I myself have been a long time victim of misogyny; so even after that I am not allowed to use a term that has been levied against me in the past?
M'kayyy, I see I see.
If it helps any, I'm aussie, every cunt here is saying it, it's become apart of our culture & thusly has far less hateful connotations because it has long been reclaimed.
Are you to deny me part of my culture as an australian?
I like how anon fails to understand that pluralpedia is almost entirely endogenic/willogenic centered & would not serve any use to anyone that doesn't believe in the (very much debunked) fantasy model of DID.
The making of a encyclopedia solely for the use of the CDD individuals is a necessity because of this.
Wow. Hi. Didn't think I'd be here.
I want to preface by saying I am not the host or 'AMy', it's important I mention that, alongside stating we are of the same body, andb accountability falls on all of us.
Now, I want to say I'm sorry.
Lashing out like that was immature, it was spiteful and childish.
Frankly it was completely inappropriate of AMy, even if he thought he was justified in doing so.
Dropping blog names in particular was bad, and I don't want it to be taken as a call to harass anyone, stirring up petty drama like that is pretty obviously dangerous to everyone involved.
no, say it how it is. you have a cdd, right? this is all part of You. You did this. dont use half of your stupid paragraph to be like "im not the host or AMy!" all of you did this, you even said in your tags youre 'usually better at stopping this' so? why didnt you do it this time?
why did you allow yourself to actively harrass someone? you still have the post with the blog name up. you still called someone a 'stupid cunt', as if cunt isnt a word rooted in misogony. your apology is garbage and you should do better. get off the internet if this is something you are prone to.
its not 'controversy', it is not 'petty drama' IT IS YOU HARRASSING SOMEONE. do better.
I have a vagina
Also, I don't know what Officer's talking about with the stopping me thing, I only remember him doing so once. & I'm pretty sure he only clarified he wasn't me because he knew that I don't like when they touch my stuff & that I'd delete the post immediately otherwise
Also, if this was on literally any other site, what I did would not be considered harassment, you guys are weak asfff
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
They turned off their reposts but oh boy we're not done swinging.
@this-is-poly-phobia
I pretty clearly explained that being radnormal is in direct response to the radqueer movement, & that it's main aim is to normalize the queer community while putting a firm boundary between us & the people that INSIST paraphillia, racism, abelism, & perpetrating sexual assault are something you should be prideful of.
The radqueer community waters down the seriousness of paraphillic disorders to a fun quirky sexuality X3! Which ultimately serves to hurt EVERYONE INCLUDE THE PARAPHILES! (this is coming from an autophile & an objectophile!)
Gods above & the racism & ableism of the radqueer community? They're so entitled to the idea of whats ours is theirs that even something as life ruining as CANCER or NAZISM is trivialized so they can indulge their greed.
But you don't get that, do you?
Racism is abnormal.
Rape is abnormal.
Ableism is abnormal.
Indulging in harmful behaviors is abnormal.
But being queer is not. Being polyamorous is not.
Stupid cunt.
P.s. In regards to your dni, what did you think was gonna happen when you—as a polyamory advocacy blog—publicly stated that you are in opposition to a movement that works to fight a genuine threat to the community?
