(Due to sudden miracles I am now unkillable) @paradoxkin - Tumblr Blog

V (& OTHERS)

IT/ITS, CHIME/CHIMES, MIRROR PRONOUNS

I AM AN ADULT FOR MY SPECIES! I PREFER IF ONLY OTHER ADULTS INTERACT (+18)

queer, Mad, plural, spiritual, not human, tma

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kindofabastard

Wishing every "society always rewards masculinity/tomboys are celebrated" a very "read Stone Butch Blues"

maworm-deactivated20141116

okay now

#middens

bugsinpinkcum

cryingselfie-deactivated2024012

kiko mizuhara in kanagawa

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opening up about the Real Lore of "people hate me because I'm haunted" in therapy has me so so so scared tonight lol. none of that is metaphorical btw I genuinely had so many fucked up scary spiritual experiences as a kid people thought I was lying and I was severely bullied as a direct result of talking about recurring experiences I was having basically every night. I was so scared and had nobody and nowhere to talk to about it

#writ

girlfleeshouse

She is chaperoned by a beautiful black dog. It sleeps on her pillow.

goslinggf

i love you rice with some bullshit

dollcreeping

#doll #system

hann4hkur

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perfifragfum

film & fragrance pairing no 4

Heeley: Cardinal - Michael Gira / C. S. Nicholson: I Wonder If I'm Singing What You're Thinking Me To Sing

somedaywewillshinetogether

sculpturegallery

Barry X Ball

paradoxkin

the realization I just had has hit me like a ton of bricks

paradoxkin

red hair, my mom. oh my god, I've been having dreams about her my whole life

#writ #it's her. it's also spirit family sometimes #which I think plays a factor because red hair runs in my bio family and my hair was strange colors in childhood #holy fccking shit.#of course #my bio mom also has a twin....

the realization I just had has hit me like a ton of bricks

#writ

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paradoxkin

guys being mixed is fucking hard and I donm't even know if I have words for it

paradoxkin

I feel like I'm just permanently in the margins of the margins. I'm white enough to be erased but not to be included, to get privilege that is conditional but always unfair. yet I don't feel safe around white people because I know they know I'm off, and I've had a lifetime of experiences to prove it, and if they don't know I'm not really one of them they act like it's permission to be their worst most racist demonic white fucking selves.

but I don't fit in with people of color because I'm white passing and light skinned and don't have the experience or history or culture or even really a word for who and what I am because I was "adopted" (trafficked) in infancy. like yeah I was fetishized and mistreated based on my race but it's always been very covert. I feel visibly invisible and if this is something a simple dna test could fix I'd be happily reunited with my mom right now, but it isn't and I'm not.

and I always feel like I have no right to complain because there are people who could never pass as white and never hold any privilege at all so I should just take the shit I've gone through to the grave. I should take being fetishized and treated as I was in high school to the grave, I suppose, because I'm not a "real" person of color, so being called [redacted I don't even want to revisit it] shouldn't matter. or hurt. or be scary. wrong target, doesn't matter. I don't have the right, wrong targets don't talk back, it was just a mistake.

paradoxkin

guys being mixed is fucking hard and I donm't even know if I have words for it

paradoxkin

I feel like I'm just permanently in the margins of the margins. I'm white enough to be erased but not to be included, to get privilege that is conditional but always unfair. yet I don't feel safe around white people because I know they know I'm off, and I've had a lifetime of experiences to prove it, and if they don't know I'm not really one of them they act like it's permission to be their worst most racist demonic white fucking selves.

but I don't fit in with people of color because I'm white passing and light skinned and don't have the experience or history or culture or even really a word for who and what I am because I was "adopted" (trafficked) in infancy. like yeah I was fetishized and mistreated based on my race but it's always been very covert. I feel visibly invisible and if this is something a simple dna test could fix I'd be happily reunited with my mom right now, but it isn't and I'm not.

and I always feel like I have no right to complain because there are people who could never pass as white and never hold any privilege at all so I should just take the shit I've gone through to the grave. I should take being fetishized and treated as I was in high school to the grave, I suppose, because I'm not a "real" person of color, so being called [redacted I don't even want to revisit it] shouldn't matter. or hurt. or be scary. wrong target, doesn't matter. I don't have the right, wrong targets don't talk back, it was just a mistake.

paradoxkin

#writ #i don't need analog horror i lived it

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(Due to sudden miracles I am now unkillable)