Unbetitelt

Or any % because if you can’t beat the fucking barrier around Hyrule’s castle you will be playing the game completely normally but as efficiently as possible with some minor glitches

Windwaker speed runs no barrier skip any % are actually 3 plus some hours at the best possible times I think

It is it’s own category and both have potential for greatness

Chapter 3: part 5

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what the hell would mozzarella, fettuccine and burnt cheese even think should they see golden cheese in fallen ancients

Cause her lack of bird wings and overall new look really does not inspire that much confidence

Wait … if she doesn’t get her awakening

Would she even be able to bring them back

Witches that would be heartbreaking

Like… that would be really messed up

Goldie about to feel a minuscule amount of the despair that bice felt

But if she can’t bring her citizens back isn’t her bargain with bice meaningless

because all she is essentially protecting is two living corpses ( fettuccine, smoked cheese) and a kingdom of graves

Never even considered this option before and I can confidently say that I am not fond of this

But damn the angst

THE ANGST !!!!!!!

(Obviously you can do what you want but this will haunt my conscience eternally now)

Yeah that's gonna be a fun time for Golden Cheese, having everyone she knows comment on the new bug wings /s

The pinnacle of mental health ,

Shadowed Act I: Penumbra

By @not-freyja and @gia-d

Wind is no stranger to monsters.

Two adventures taught him more than any boy ought to know about them. About the way they fight, the way they think. About what it takes to make a monster.

This third adventure wants to test that. All across time there are monsters that are worse than they ought to be. Stronger. Smarter. Faster. Harder and harder to kill.

Still, Wind is no stranger to monsters. Which is why when a ninth Link joins the Chain, he knows that there is something… wrong.

Something very, very wrong.

then thought about the implications of cheese being able to control the crumbs of the kulfi to make a key

Like wait a minute didn’t she also collect every crumb of every single one of her citizens (said in the same arc by smoked cheese)

She collected every one of them…which must have been her just piecing together cookies by herself surrounded by the crumbs of even more of her perished treasures for quite a while

she would have put all of them to rest by herself as well…like damn imagine putting everyone you ever loved into boxes day after day and everyone seemed to be given resting rites as well because fettuccine is a mummy meaning that a random young citizen was wrapped and mummified properly and all the other golden cheese citizen would be as well I assume

Did she do it similarly to the kulfi key (cause girl seemed weirdly proficient at collecting “sand” that is hard to control made through crumbling even with very weakened powers )

Cheese your elemental affinity is meant to be EARTH not corpses (really puts earthBREAD into perspective)

(burning spice already pulling up a war crime list of things that he expects his favorite sparing partner to do with such a power… I mean she is creating weapons from the sands made entirely up from dead spices surely she could make a weapon from less dead ones/j)

Why can she control crumbled “sand” in the first place and why is it never discussed because that alone would make her absolutely terrifying especially in an bad end au

just hypothetical btw this isn’t a request just want to know if anyone else noticed this because damn that is an insane power that is just overlooked

Probably has something to do with the souljam of creation

she absolutely spend god knows how long just putting corpses back together, so is it any wonder she had a panic attack at the thought of seeing white lily again?

”Cheese your elemental affinity is meant to be EARTH not corpses (really puts earthBREAD into perspective)”

Well the map of earthbread does look like the corpse of a giant cookie, so maybe all earth IS technically corpse dust anyway? (So does that imply Golden Cheese could basically be like that one blood bender lady from ATLA is she really wanted too?)

“burning spice already pulling up a war crime list of things that he expects his favorite sparing partner to do with such a power…”

[ PT; please for the love of god if you hate the new update reblog this post ]

I am organizing a lights out protest on tumblr, from March 20th 6AM UTC until March 21st 6AM UTC. It is best if as many tumblr users as possible can join this protest, as a mass downtime in users is the only way the tumblr staff will listen to us.

If you cherish this hellsite, participate. Do your bit. Every person counts.

Would honestly say that golden cheese would get hard core triggered over sugar's entire existence

(like actually she would be so uncomfortable during the hollysugar episodes)

Because it’s all her toxic traits shoved into her face

( like looking into a carnival mirror it looks nothing like you but still it is you’re face that shows up distorted on that very mirror )

Eternal sugar and golden cheese are mirrors too an uncanny degree

Both have safe havens

both have their soul jams in their crowns (and wings on said crown)

Both have color schemes similar in nature

(cheese has blue, red , white and sugar has the pastel version of them being pink, sky blue and white gradient rose …with both have very subtle blues on their wings )

also obviously wings

Both have followers who aid them in controlling their havens (pavlova, the sugar angels , mozzarella and the cheese gang and cheese birds)

Both have followers who deserted because they wanted to leave ( smoked cheese and sugar fly)

Both prevent people from leaving at expense of their lives

(much more indirect for cheese because it’s passive for her but still if a citizen leaves the golden city they are literally just dead)

Both have indirect effects on their followers that harm them as a result

( mind tampering for cheese and pheromones for sugar while sugar obviously has much more intent of harm then cheese she doesn’t outright harm her followers she just attracts the harm to them or immobilizes them)

Both destroyed their safe havens because of outside influences they cared about

(hollyberry and ginger gang)

Both preserve their followers in stasis to preserve their “happiness”

(jam bottle , stone statues and the soul cheeses and digital world)

Both surveil their sacred places through dubious means

Like sugar's whole place is covered in eyes she has them everywhere but golden cheese takes that stuff even further her whole crispia arc begins with her marzipan bots handing out penalties to the ginger gang and co,…

For literally just mentioning golden cheese in anything but complete and utter benevolence you receive a punishment in the golden city

(that shit is insane, golden cheese what the actual fuck , you can’t just penalize your citizens for constructive criticism, this is absolute madness)

And no way eternal suger would tolerate criticism from other cookies over her paradise

(one too many complains and you get jammed or turned to stone )

They both have absolute control over their paradise nothing but a souljam owner can even hope to contest their influence when they are in their realm of power and they abuse that power constantly

(Until smoked cheese caught golden cheese off guard and took the souljam nothing could have happened to golchi

she wasn’t listening to anyone, she has brainwashed her citizens into believing the war doesn’t exist

and even with the soul jam she took him down if she never got her shit together she would have stayed like that and nothing could have been done about it

The same way how eternal sugar can drown her whole garden

Turn everyone to stone, or place them in jam jars

Until she herself changed her mind and listened to hollyberry nobody could have done anything about her or the garden of delights)

Their sheer might makes any choice an illusion of one

fettuccine can make the choice to leave only because golden cheese allowed it

Hollyberry was only allowed to leave because eternal sugar decided that she will allow it for now

Hell even their title cards are similar if you look at them they are both towering over their places and have their wings take up the entire screen with them glancing down at it surrounded by their followers

(the exact same look on their faces even only Sugar has her wings surrounding the whole garden while cheese hasn’t gone THAT for)

Both only want happiness for their citizens and achieve it by ANY means necessary even at their follower’s own detriment

(sugrfly's ruined wings and fettuccine’s soul damage only happened because both neglected their followers immediate health for their objective “happiness” )

Both have a gatekeeper to keep people IN (brunt cheese and the warden of hearts)

Both are possessive , prideful in their very nature and extremely sweet and gentle when not provoked and want to bring genuine joy to their people

They both love with their entire heart and genuinely want what they think is best for the people they treasure (which is what makes them hella scary)

If smoked and cheese ended up in the garden of delights bro will have an actual heart attack because of how much sugar reminds him of cheese

in the objectively worst way imaginable she is the golden cheese of the golden city at her WORST

The worst possible version of golden cheese will always be eternal sugar

(it’s literally horrifying how their core personality traits are just the exact same they suffer from the same overindulgence)

Even golden cheese will probably feel genuinely pained when she gets compared to eternal sugar because like

“…am I really that close to being like a beast that got locked away for good…should I be worried…?”

(Yes sweetheart you should be VERY worried)

Also the thematic aspect of how they mirror each other it would work wonders to drive that particular situation into her head smoked's hatred for her came because she acted similarly like this

Her desire to bring joy and happiness to her treasure was harming those very treasures and only she has the power to stop herself from overindulgence

(paralleling her saying that greed should never harm others to smoked cheese ironically enough)

She should hang out with sugar instead of bice because sugar would have made her feel terrible for simply being herself

Sugar would treat her like an equal who sees her vision should they ever meet fr/j

Also her beast yeast awakening is named wings of eternity while ETERNAL sugar exists which is hilarious

On top of this entire nonsense we also have another link

In Dante’s inferno hell and purgatory is built with layers and the sins are stacked upon each other

(it’s relevant me promise…me swear that I am not bad shit insane for this)

The lighter the sin the higher up it is

And if you look closely …

Greed is above sloth but only by one layer

(Avarice and greed mean the same darn thing why must we be fancy)

Isn’t it intriguing that the titles that are associated with golden cheese and eternal sugar are kept separate from each other by only one single layer

Wow, that was so in depth I’m not sure if I can really add anything more to it tbh!

They could have had pretended just long enough to give at least a hint of a good resolution for the beasts before going to play with their favorite doll

But no , once more the beast get shoot for a tiny bit more blue clown propaganda

It doesn’t bother me that there is a clear favorite it is bothering me that the other characters suffer from negligence at expense of shadow milk

Beast yeast is finally not as disjoint as it was prior and everyone makes reasonable decisions

And the ginger gang initially got to stay home and build their silly kingdom together because pure vanilla refused to sent three minors on an expedition to a well known to be dangerous and threatening continent (clotted cream finally relevant…is this real chat)

And the cookie alliance finally acts as an actual alliance

chili pepper cookie is finally plot relevant for once

Which is the broody veteran and the grim hero

because they link (heh) it together with his experience

they want a grim and unfriendly hero because of how much he experienced because he isn’t a lil bean baby

It is a bit of the if it isn’t white it must be black type thinking

This type of two way designation obviously doesn’t work on actually well rounded characters or people because it literally just has two sides and no middle ground

( but many people still tend to go back to this unconsciously )

This way of thinking seems to stem from the fundamental black white values that young children hold when they first develop as people

So when legend a character who isn’t the good justice bringing absolute goody two shoes…

but a complicated young man who has experienced a lot of trauma yet still finds ways to cope and have fun when he can yet still very much struggles with social situations because of his upbringing

than they put him into black despite there being no real “justification” because there isn’t any way to put him into white because it would require critical thinking and evaluation of moral beliefs

And to justify it they exaggerate any negative trait into oblivion until the character they created isn’t even remotely legend shaped because those people have trouble with nuance

But neither are the other links free of this curse btw

sky ,four , wind and Hyrule get the lil guy treatment and it sucks in the exact opposite way

Warriors ,twilight and time( and also sky sometimes ) suffer from old righteousness hero syndrome where they are always right or old cranky man syndrome and the plot bends over backwards to ensure it

And legend is the outsider who gets flagged as threatening because he is neither of those basically

Scarabs are the aura farming relative in the bettle family (they are colorful,pretty and huge beautiful creatures and fly like a cryptid towards you with ominous noises)

But bettles are referred to as dungbugs for a reason

(but honestly it is just bullshit because literally every single bug…even the butterfly wouldn’t pass up free nutrients so it literally boils down to pretty privilege )

If we go this way we would have dungbug and cockroach as a duo both are really pretty looking in rare cases even colorful but the common folk only sees them as vermin and pests and it fits thematically as they both are very similar

And also because bettles are notoriously well known collectors of nutritional treasures (listen bugs are crazy resourcful and they take advantage of the excess nutrients in feces that stuff is genuine treasure to them)

and guard their larva fiercely (like previously mentioned it feels ominous when the fly at you in full power stance making evil hissing noises…and their huge )

like cheese collects treasures and protects the soul cheeses (argument can also be made that she encased them in a safe space safe from most harm like a bettle)

By that point she should own it because ancient Egypt literally warshipped (and in many cases still warships) them and they were totally right for it)

Hell some of her collection items for the alliance battles are scarab related (there is a bettle pin)

She literally has a scarab on her wing motive when awakened

She should own that shit as hard as possible she afterall represents an aspect of him already

(go collect shiny armor to look even more bettle and go full Egyptian symbol of rebirth, resurrection and transformation)

from The god of the midday sun Ra too Kephri the god of the rising sun

Cause listen this is literally what happens once Ra exhausted himself from the long and hard flight through the sky and uses up all his energy he gets reborn in the new shape of Kephri who pushes the sun to take to the sky once more every new day

Kephri is a reborn form of Ra that takes the journey to the sky at dawn to become the new Ra and dies with the dusk and resurrects with dawn once more as the new Ra a cycle of rebirth and resurrection

(and I am totally not crazy for this when I say that golden cheese DEFINITELY represents the radiance of Ra on midday, and this is making my nerd mythology cringe brain go and say that fallen ancient golden cheese is as Kephri coded as any iteration of her could ever get like the fallen sun is also Kephri theme and this comic is named fallen ancients damn somehow this comic hit the themes of Ra and Kephri PERFECTLY on accident)

I am losing my mind

You know what? I do kinda like the idea of her eventually learning to just own it. It definitely wouldn't be a quick or easy process, buy you know, eventually she would

Like the huge rip cage replaces the huge anime boobs that look even more spacious when you wear a shirt type shit (it would make the character not stand out as much …except the chest isn’t nice and soft that stuff is all bone and hard as hell…you have been fouled)

Also realistically speaking you can’t actually place wings on the back if you want reasonably well working wings you will need shoulder blades for them you can’t stack shoulder blades onto shoulder blades there is nothing that would support the wings you need muscles and on top of shoulder blades there ain’t enough space

Contrary to popular belief wings aren’t actually accessories but a fully skeletal structure with musculature and skin

If you placed that stuff onto a human you would have to shove them into the stomach area like a second pair of limbs (and definitely shove the whole digestive tract aside…but hey that stuff IS fairly movable so it isn’t this unreasonable…the whole hard time digesting thing can be ignored)

Also the 3 meter wingspan that would be necessary for a human sized creature to even fly could definitely work somewhat if you fold the wings it is almost halved into like 1,50 meterish so you could treat the wings like a ball gown that is taking up the whole leg room

It wouldn’t even matter THAT much how large the wings are because if the bird person isn’t flying they will just keep their wings closed and around the hip like a skirt (or like previously mentioned a ball gown) and 1,50 ish is fairly doable if they have long legs and move some of said size behind them rather than just down and even if they move them it would not seem THAT weird (they would totally get stuck in a hallway though)

Because birds take up the majority of those 3 meters of wingspan with feathers than the actual limb itself (the limb part of the wings would definitely be closer to a human arm and therefore not weight as much nor hinder as much as initially expected)

(I totally stole this pick)

Even the long legs are doable as long as you remember to bend them forward (like actual bird legs)