elle est si bête

test drove a 2021 corolla and liked it hut the windshield needed to be replaced and i wasn’t buying that day anyway bc i was financing w my bank and didn’t have what i needed. sales guy Mo is pushy as HELL about financing with them but finally gets that we aren’t buying that day and lets us go.

went in the next week to get a 2023 certified pre-owned with fewer miles but it was gone by the time we got there so we got the 2021 because Mo says he can get it certified. ok no prob. we go through the carfax with him, history looks clean, mileage is good, single owner, everything checks out. we get the extended warranty (I have a vehicle curse on me), give them the vehicle buyer’s check, say we’ll pick up when it’s ready. all good.

pick up on thursday, he says it’s certified, windshield is fixed, we’re ready to roll! im five minutes away from my house when there’s a noise and feeling like I just ran something over so i swerve into a church parking lot and i can’t even get all the way into a parking spot. THE CAR WON’T GO ANY FURTHER. so i scream and cry and call the dealership they say okay just get it towed back and we’ll reimburse you for towing.

now this sounds deeply like a severe transmission issue so i go home and do my lil research on the warranty and it sounds like im covered, and im DOUBLE covered because of the certified pre-owned warranty. cool! but a) how the hell did that get past yalls 160 point inspection and b) it also becomes apparent at this point that i didn’t receive all the documentation that i should have gotten. like where’s my “you owe, we owe” sheet and where’s my certified pre-owned inspection sheet and where’s my warranty fine print? AND WHERE’S MY SECOND KEY???

so i text mo the next morning.

the service department calls me and explains there was a bolt in the control arm (part of the suspension) that sheared and they’ve replaced it for me, free of charge, and they’ll lift up the car and show me exactly what happened and what they did and what it looks like etc. and they’re like hey god forbid anything else happens, this is a certified pre-owned car, so you’ve got the warranty. im like. okay FINE. like I don’t really trust you but…. Fine.

we go check it out and the service techs show me what’s up and assure me there’s no damage to the car and they’ve done a second full inspection and im like okay but I still need to speak to a manager because this is insane!! how did this get past inspection!!

so the manager comes over and he’s like im so sorry I know what’s going on and I tell him “I need to see the certified pre-owned inspection sheet because I never got that. and i’m supposed to have a second key and I never got THAT.” and he goes 😮 and runs away to go get that for me

we’re waiting a LONG time and I go get some water and when I get back he’s sitting next to graham and neither of them look happy and he tells me “the certification didn’t go through because there is an open recall on your vehicle.”

REMEMBER, WITH THE SALES GUY, WHEN WE LOOKED AT THE CARFAX TOGETHER??? I SAW THIS RECALL ON THE REPORT (passenger side airbag) AND ASKED ABOUT IT AND HE SAID IT WAS TAKEN CARE OF.

so Mo has lied to me about the recall. he’s lied to me about the certification. he’s lied TO HIS FINANCE DEPARTMENT AND HIS SERVICE DEPARTMENT about the certification. and he knows damn well it’s not certified because he didn’t give me the inspection sheet to sign and he didn’t give me my second key.

the manager is rightly appalled about all of this and explains the recall is a super quick fix but it will take longer to get the recall “closed” so he puts me in a super fancy loaner for a few days and tells me i don’t need to fill up on gas when i return it.

we just picked it up and i told him dude im still super angry abt this and he said “what can i do to make this right” and while a partial refund would have been ideal, it would have meant we had to re-contract the whole car, so we agreed on three free oil changes and tire rotations. and i said great! can we get that in writing though. and actually speaking of that… there’s some other documentation I didn’t get. like the “we owe, you owe” sheet and the warranty details. this man facepalms so hard and bumps it up to four oil changes. in writing. with my other documents.

63° thoracic curvature, 54° lumbar, fused T4-T12 minimally invasive procedure, 3 incisions, 14 screws, 2 rods, 5 hours, gained 1.5 inches in height, basic recovery 4 months, full recovery 1.5 years

now the gag is i did not realize at the time, or in fact until several months post-op, how much it was already affecting my heart and lungs. and i had the fun rare variety of scoliosis where it just keeps going forever after your bones are done growing. so with how severe the curve was at the time, there is a Chance that i #wouldnotbehere ten years later if i had not had surgical intervention. so we are hooting and hollering today!!!!!!!!

images for the freaks under the cut please appreciate my bones. #mybones