future's gonna be okay

It doesn't hurt nearly as much as watching my boss care more about the competition than me.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

Sometimes animals not come out again

And says this about the shark “Greenland sharks have also been found with remains of moose, horse, and reindeer (in one case an entire reindeer carcass) in their stomachs. Polar bear remains have also been recovered, though these are thought to be of bears that died from other causes.[13][45][40] The Greenland shark is known to be a scavenger and is attracted by the smell of rotting meat in the water. The sharks have frequently been observed lurking around fishing boats and herds of seals.[13]

Although such a large shark could easily consume a human swimmer, the frigid waters it typically inhabits make the likelihood of attacks on people very low. To date only one report exists of human predation by a Greenland shark. Around 1859 in Pond Inlet, Canada, a Greenland shark was caught reportedly containing a human leg in its stomach. This story, however, was never scientifically investigated and remains unverified.[13]”

Citations

“The person whose dance impresses the judges the most will win 2,000 baht!”