Raptor Paddock

Yanno, this post was pre-pandemic and now I’m like “pfft ONLY 3 days? Up your game scrub, I’m on three WEEKS.”

*coughs* So I have a new husband for the fictional husband harem~

@fanotastic more worms

Aw fuck. Nothing makes you assholes happy.

This is actually one post that I’m glad got a lot of notes. I’m happy to see that so many people like it.

Best thing I’ve read all.. forever? BRAIN OWNERS.

Mothers and fuckers of the jury.

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

reblog the cherry pie to be ok

The cherry pie worked for me and here’s to hoping it’ll work for you too

“do not mistake composure for ease”

DO NOT MISTAKE COMPOSURE FOR EASE.

Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right? But you’re dummy thicc and the clap of your ass cheeks lead you into an imperial ambush. Same as us and that thief over there.

“They say Ulthicc Stormcloak murdered the high king… with his ass! Clapped him apart!”

“I need to ask you to stop. Those cheeks are…making people nervous.”

pussy game so strong it scared the devil

no but literally that is what is happening, there have been long periods of western history where spirits were said t be frightened by the site of lady business. Sailor’s wives used to flash their husbands ships (mind you this was a time before underwear so you just lifted your petticoats and BAM) in order to scare away the spirits and devils that made storms. A woman could flash her crops to keep away spirits that might ruin them.This was also back when the vagoo was seen as something taboo and horrible so literally looking directly at some labia was thought to be so scary the devil would poop himself. Misogyny so intense it gave the pussy superpowers. 

PUSSY OUT TO SCARE THE DEVIL AWAY

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

*cackling*

This is actually part of Finnish folklore, too. Vagina was the strongest thing on the planet, enough so that you could curse someone why flashing your hoo-hoo at them. Even the bear, which was the strongest spiritual being, feared by everyone - so much that saying bear’s name out loud would summon a bear and thus no one still knows what’s a bear in Finnish - ran away in a sigh of lady’s privates.

wait i want to know more about there maybe not being a word for bears in finnish???

Rakshas, like rakshasa? Damn.

Trying real hard to get my cat to fit in with all the other cats and still love me

tumblr purged all the map / pedo positivity tags too lmaoooo 🥂🎉