✩Take me to the stars✩

a watched pot never boils but a watched toaster will do everything in its power to make you shit yourself

this post is for my homies that get jumpscared by the toaster going off

oh well i guess ill just be fat and hot

whatever man *walks outside of your render distance*

I’m starting a gofundme to get a mojito

doctor just prescribed me music really loud

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

YES... YEEEEEEESSSSSSS

religious scholars agree that god destroying the tower of babel was the first recorded instance of someone “doing a 9/11”

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

2 Ibuprofen tablets will surely save me

K

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S

Y

Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurted my feelings

Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurted my feelings