✩Take me to the stars✩

a watched pot never boils but a watched toaster will do everything in its power to make you shit yourself

this post is for my homies that get jumpscared by the toaster going off

Now THIS is the Dragula babe content I WANT.

I’m crying this person is so hot

Oh you were a gifted child and now you're a loser? Well I was supernaturally experimented on alongside 12 other abducted children and became the lone survivor and dubbed "The Lost Sibling" and now I'm the assistant manager at a struggling small town Wendy's

sunshine or moonlight? fairy wings or angel wings? gardening or baking? velvet or silk? flowers or succulents? black coffee or milky coffee? road trips or hiking? mermaids or dragons?

literally thank god sex isnt real and was just invented by big fiction to emphasize greater social and psychological themes i was getting scared id have to do all that

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

One day I will be your early 30s mutual. Take my hand and come with me

You smoked dog weed

sipping on some of that 9pm water

good morning everyone it's time to be tortured to insanity and then of course tortured for being insane

Being high has me saying things like “I like friends” as if it’s some profound relization

a puff of truthweed will have your breath carry only the undeniable

no i'm not sending you a "titty pic" weirdo. if you want to see them that badly you'll just have to meet me irl and beat me at mahjong like a normal person.