If That Makes Sense

like there are hyper specific brand deals with players. like they had a mcdonald's meal for different players. you could get a custom car from a ford dealership that had a player's number and name. they do autograph signings and there is a line around the block in cold canadian weather.

their practice rink is in another town and people will wait outside to get autographs. i am not exaggerating. when the team moved from the forum to the bell centre everything was auctioned off. like seat and scoreboard. you could pay to have a brick with your name get put in to the new arena construction.

there was remembrance when the widow of a montreal hockey legend passed. she was always at the games

i grew up there. i am just baffled about him getting traded???? like no. like when pk subban was traded a private citizen bought an entire page in the montreal gazette to protest. and everyone agreed with him. there was so much radio and sports commentary on how ridiculous of a trade it was. like 3 STANLEY CUPS? omg riots in the streets.

and the insult of being traded to OTTAWA?? to the ENGLISH?! no no no the QUEBECOIS PEOPLE WOULD LIGHT THAT GM ON FIRE

carey price had a leave of absence due to mental health and the entire city was rallying for him. like he would show up to games to watch and people freaked out and cheered for him. when he came back everyone was like smitten.

her name is miko.

yuna's dad bought her for her mom after they moved to canada because she got lonely at home after they first arrived because they were so far from family, and it is an extremely husband move to be like, "sad? i know what will fix this. giant loud bird. PERFECT."

yuna's mom did indeed love miko, and yuna bonded with miko after her mom's death because it felt like she had someone to grieve with who missed her like she did (i the writer just teared up thinking about that oh my god). when yuna moved out, miko went with her because miko got along with yuna's dad but in the spirit of "we share a house, so i'll tolerate you" lmao. yuna knew that david was the one for her when she brought him back to her place for the first time and he immediately greeted miko like a person.

shane experiences sibling-like tension with miko lmao.

in a lot of ways, miko is like his older sister (sits with them at family meals, HAS come on vacation with them before, has to be greeted in the morning or his mom gets mad at him and also miko yells) except she is FUCKING LOUD. she tragically knows his name because yuna taught it to her after bringing shane home and introducing them (how could you condemn him like this, mom? she knows like twenty words and one of them HAD to be his name??? what the FUCK??), so the SECOND miko sees him or hears him or just thinks he's in the general vicinity, you are hearing "SHANE! SHANE! SHANE!" loud enough that the fucking NEIGHBORS know when there has been a Shane Spotting.

(also VERY salty from being told that miko's japanese is better than his. how is he losing to a BIRD.) (what do you MEAN her pronounciation is better.) (she has a BEAK.) (blue and gold macaws aren't even the clearest talkers when it comes to parrots, what do you MEAN miko is beating him?) (she only knows a few words and she's WINNING??) (just because she calls you yuna-chan doesn't mean she should get to WIN, mom.)

does miko understand hockey? doubtful. does she understand when yuna is mad and decide it's Time To Screm? YEP. not helped by yuna and david both egging her on with, "you tell 'em, miko!" (poor bb autistic shane with this LOUD ASS BIRD intruding on his sacred hockey time).

shane also denies it but he nurses a grudge to this fucking day about the time he was 15 and got miko out because she wouldn't stop Shane Screeching until he did but then stopped watching her for like. FIVE minutes getting ready to leave for a game.

ONLY TO COME OUT. TO THIS FUCKING BIRD. HAVING SYSTEMATICALLY UNWRAPPED ALL THE TAPE FROM AROUND HIS HOCKEY STICK.

SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE.

HE KNOWS IT.

SHE DID IT TO FUCK WITH HIM.

(not helping this is that miko has yuna's mom's laugh, which is nice because it means yuna still gets to hear it, but having to leave like RIGHT NOW only to have this bird fuck you over and then laugh in your face??? it is the closest shane has ever come to throwing hands with miko.)

he is just FURTHER pissed when miko takes a liking to ilya. he had to grow up with this annoying bird and now she's trying to STEAL HIS BOYFRIEND??? ridiculous.

they're birdsitting for david and yuna when they're on a cruise one summer, and miko rarely leaves ilya's shoulder the whole time. while ilya is shirtless!! he can SEE her claws digging in? but miko gets cuddles and to offer her opinions on what ilya is doing but shane can't snuggle against his shoulder on the couch because miko will start preening his hair, which is Annoying? ridiculous.

he wakes up one morning to find them showering together.

*miko, immediately playing word association* "UP MIKO! STEP UP MIKO! STEP UP MIKO! UP! STEP UP MIKO!"

"NO"

*now mad she's been baited and switched for what appeared to be an offer of out of cage time* "STEP UP MIKO!"

"NO. FUCK OFF."

"SHANE. SHANE. SHANE. SHANE. SHANE. SHA-"

an hour later yuna and david get home to a visibly furious shane sulking on the couch and throwing miko's ball for her so she can chase it because he lost a battle of wills to a bird.

(I mean stuff like sausage, garlic, etc.)