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“Oh my god they were roommates” hc

* At first rooming with your best friend feels like the best idea

* Hell, Lance still remembers how he barely slept the night before he officially moved in with Hunk, too excited for his own good

* And while most worry that you’ll hate each other at some point and ruin the friendship that’s not Lance’s problem

* No his problem is the fact that living with hunk has opened up to domesticity

* Which led to this moment where Lance sat himself down when he found himself uninterested in a girl he’d just spent the last 15 minutes flirting with and just when she began to reciprocate he didn’t feel anything

* You know who does make him feel things? Hunk

* So now anytime Hunk goes for the salt in the cabinet right over Lance his heart speeds up

* Or whenever they settle to watch a movie and start cuddling Lance becomes hyperaware of every movement

* It fucking sucks

Pre-Voltron

-Lance like most people doesn’t like advertising that he uses tumblr or giving his url out

-But in reality Lance has an aesthetic tumblr filled with blues, water, sky shots and sometimes outer space

-He tries to spread positivity and likes making friends

-One day he starts a conversation with a boy who goes by Red and who’s tumblr is a mixture of angry words, knives, reds, and space

-They start talking about space which then leads to a friendship, where they talk about everything and anything

-Yet they never did Skype, never fully being able to be free at the same time between classes and the such

-And if sometimes they complained about annoying mullet heads or that one tall

boy “obsessed with me” then so be it

-They always have each other to rant about annoying classmates

-And then suddenly Red starts replying less and less

-Lance had wanted to celebrate with Red the moment he got moved up after that annoying mullet head dropped out but it’s been months and no reply

-In fact, according to tumblr he’s hasn’t been active in 3 months

-And Lance can’t help but worry about his friend Red, who seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth

-He tried to rationalize that sometimes people get busy or leave because of personal problems

-And before Red left he had mentioned that something awful had happened to someone close to him

-But the underlying worry for his friend never really left

A few months into Voltron

-Then one day when Lance is alone he finds himself just staring at the stars and thinking of his friend Red, how he would have loved the view

-Which then leads to him worrying about Red, if he’s okay, if he’s tried to message Lance after coming back, which spirals to him worrying about his other mutuals

-He can’t help but worry about people he’s never officially met, but he knows from first hand experience what it’s like to have someone just disappear without warning

-And he just hopes that the others don’t worry about him too much, and makes himself a reminder to message them all when he comes back, whether they worried or not he’d like to catch up

-Then suddenly Keith is there, asking why he’s looking at the stars as if they’re to blame for all his problems

-And for once Lance doesn’t feel the need to hide how he’s feeling, instead telling Keith how it finally hit him that friends he used to talk to probably don’t know what happened to him

-Because not all of them went to school with him and some he met on social media

-Lance tells him how he can’t help but realize that one of his biggest fears is losing his connection with those around him

-To suddenly no longer be in contact and not knowing why

-To which Keith replied with a small smile, telling him how he lived Lance’s fear, when he went in the desert he lost all contact with people

-Because he was so driven about finding Shiro, he forgot to maintain he friendships and thinking back now he regrets it

-When New Years rolled around, Lance made sure to tell Allura about the day in advance to ensure that they could celebrate the new year and get some new year's cleaning going (got to start the year the way you want it to go)

-So the moment the rest of the Paladins wake up and find him cleaning, they simply gear up and join him

-The closer they got to their version of midnight (space time is weird man) the more amped up Lance and Hunk began to get

-They were ready to say goodbye to the last year and welcome the new year with a bang

-They celebrated with the typical party, loud music, laughter, and simply creating good memories

-The others expected to just do the countdown and maybe cheer a bit and then go to sleep

-Hunk felt so sad hearing those words while Lance simply looked offended

- They grew up having one last big celebration there is no way they are doing that boring New Years shit

-Everyone then decided to just let loose and have fun

-And whilst having fun, they began to think deeply about everything they’ve gone through: those they've lost and what they’ve gained, all the amazing things they've discovered

-Basically the good and the bad but also country music (bc somehow they picked that shit up on satellite and only that shit)

-They all get tipsy, some more drunk than others

-Keith fucking square dances

-In the midst of it all, Hunk looks at Lance and he just thinks to himself with a soft smile on his face wow, that's my best friend... there is no one I would rather do this with

-And let's just say heavy make-outs to start the new year are kind of the best

BONUS:

-Drunk matt; he quotes Vines all night long

-That's it he doesn't say anything that wasn't in a vine

-And Pidge is acting the vines out w him (with, of course, the occasional guest appearance of Lance)

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Firstly, I just want to thank the lovely @highkeyanne for helping a sister out. Without you this hc would not have been finished in time for New Years. And another special thanks to @sleepingupsidedown for encouraging me to publish all the hc I had in my draft. You both are amazing and I'm very lucky to have you in my life.

-Shiro is a professor at Garrison university

-Lance is his TA who kind of sorta has a crush on the professor and a (crush) rivalry with a fellow graduate student

-Lately he's been flirting with his professor and receiving positive feed back

-He's then ready to ask Shiro out until Keith walks in

-Next thing he knows the man who had been low key reciprocating his flirting is telling him Keith is his boyfriend

-In other words the two men he has feelings for are taken...BY EACH OTHER

-He kind of wants the ground to swallow him whole

-So he just starts to back off, there's only a few more weeks until winter break and then he can just never again TA for Shiro and avoid Keith, yeah that's the plan

- And it's all going well

-He doesn't notice the barely disguised hurt in Shiro's eyes and how Keith's smiles start being less genuine when he tries to greet Lance

-He just keeps going until he gets a phone call from Hunk in the middle of class

-Hunk knows his schedule by heart and has never bothered him while in class

-As a result he swiftly leaves the class to answer the phone call

-Thankfully it's good news, Hunk proposed to Shay and she said yes

-Hunk in his excitement completely forgot Lance's schedule and called him to ask him to be his Best Man

-If the class heard him squeal like a little girl no one mentions it

-He goes back into the class with a dopey smile, completely blissed out knowing that his best friend and wonderful girlfriend are going to tie the knot

- Made even better by the huge honor his friend bestowed upon him

-Which led him to zone out and stay behind the classes dismissal, something he'd stop doing as soon as he learned Shiro was in a relationship

-For before he would always stay behind and talk to Shiro about anything and everything, often leading to a bit of flirting back and forth

-It was fun until he felt like Shiro was probably just humoring him

-And now that he had backed off and he was still in the classroom he could help but feel a little lost

-Lost because he remembered clearly how he honestly thought Shiro was flirting back and whenever he was with Keith they would banter

-But all of the banter was the cutesy kind not the malicious type one expected of 'rivals'

-And he just can't comprehend how those two amazing men could lead him on like that, he never thought either one had a mean spirited bone in their body

-So when he walks away he clearly doesn't hear Keith walk into the classroom

-Or Shiro calling his name repeatedly

-He also doesn't hear the open conversation Keith and Shiro have about how Lance isn't the same anymore

-How Keith doesn't know where they went wrong and how he misses Lance

-He does hear Shiro reassure his boyfriend that it will all be fine

-The situation will get better they just need to give it time and space

-When Lance makes his move to leave he does hear Keith yell at him "don't go"

-The moment Lance turns around he's met with a blushing Keith who's looking at the ground and Shiro who's looking at Keith with a look of disbelief

-"Why?"

-Keith replied "Because I miss you dammit, I thought things were going well"

-Lance confused asks him what he meant

-Leading to an exasperated Shiro who charges in to plant a kiss on Lance's lips

-When the kiss ended Lance looks confused and being to turn his glance to where he last saw Keith only to be pulled into another kiss but this time by the man he had just been searching for

- It starts out small

- One fond smile here and there

- Keith and Lance still glare but it no longer holds the deep anger and resentment it used to carry

- There's no longer actual heat behind any of the jests

- Keith is still impulsive but with one look Lance can shut Keith down so fast

- It strange but it seems like they're beginning to learn how to coexist, maybe become friends

- Then all of a sudden Lance starts blushing an awful lot around Keith

- Keith begins avoiding Lance

- That's when it all starts turning to shit

- In that time Lance and Keith become miserable and irritated all the time

- Keith goes back to being really hotheaded and always going ahead if the team during missions

- Lance seems to always want to say something but stops himself at the last minute

- After another mission where they barely succeed Allura finally decides to intervene

- She then invites Lance to do something together

- They spend the afternoon doing face masks and gossiping until Lance opens up to Allura explaining why he's become distant

- It was all fine and dandy being close with Keith until he realized his feelings for the red paladin and then he began to worry that Keith doesn't feel the same way and how his confession may drive him away

- He doesn't want to ruin their friendship but after realizing that he is basically 85% of Keith's impulse control he is scared that if he doesn't get over himself, Keith or the others may get hurt

- It's imply hard because he may be in love and he really doesn't know how he will handle it when Keith rejects him

- At that point Allura looses whatever patience she had and begins to tell Lance how she doubts that would happen

- How Keith's eyes soften and seem to light up whenever Lance enters a room

- How Kieth subconsciously looks to Lance whenever he's confused or wants advice

- How Keith always smiles for Lance always

- And finally how the only reason why Keith is avoiding Lance is because he is worried he hurt Lance or did something wrong

- Lance is then renewed with determination and immediately gets up to find Keith but before going on his search to confess he hugs Allura and thanks her for her help

- The next Day Lance and Keith are together and everything is peaceful once again

-Becoming the leader is hard

-Becoming the leader because your closest friend is gone, possibly dead is harder

-Yet no one seems to understand that and the others are only thinking of moving on and taking Shiro's place

-Keith knows that technically Shiro gave him the position but to be quite honest he could live without it

-He would rather have Shiro back than take the position of the black lion's paladin

-But then the black lion chose him and no one else

-He was prepared to have Lance explode on him and go on about how he would be a terrible leader....he wouldn't be wrong

-And yet instead Lance decided to be kind and respectful of Keith and in that moment Keith's heart fluttered

-Next thing he knows he begins following Lance's advice

-And the more they talk the more he melts whenever Lance smiles at him

-He could be having a terrible day but the moment Lance enters the room his day becomes a 1000% better

-The third time Lance makes the day tolerable with his mere presence is the day Keith realizes he has a crush on Lance

-Sure enough Keith begins to feel his ears turn red every time Lance addresses him or uses one of his awful pick up lines

-One day on his way to call the others for training he overheard Lance moaning to Pidge about how the guy he likes is so perfect and amazing

-How he just wants to cuddle them

-How he loves their smile

-How he loves spending time with them

-Keith has never felt so dejected in his life then at that moment when he learned that Lance likes Hunk

-He then decided he's had enough hearing the guy he likes talk about another person and decides to make his presence known

-He tells Lance to stop talking about his non-existent love life (harsh he knows but he was just so incredibly jealous) and to get ready for training

-At the reprimand Lance turned as white as a sheet and froze up

-Keith then stormed out leaving a shook™ Lance and Pidge in his wake

-/--/-/--/-/--/-/--/-/--/-/--/-/--/-/--/-/--

3 days later

-Keith never brought up what he overheard and Lance was losing it

-First off he knows there can only be so many Paladins and Allura is improving amazingly

-He believes Allura deserves to further train and to have the experience of being a paladin just as her father

-So he goes on to talk to Allura about possibly taking his spot in the team when Shiro comes back (because he's coming back) and he can just help Coran maintain the castle

-He always thought that was what Allura wanted, to be a paladin and have his annoying ass on the sidelines

-He was wrong, she yelled at him for giving up his role so easily, for thinking so little of himself, and even considering that she would take him up on the offer

-"Saying you aren't necessary is like saying Hunk or Pidge aren't necessary. And you would never say that, so why say that about yourself? Think about it and when you're ready to talk, you know where to find me."

-Lance then leaves slightly shocked and yet also feeling humiliated for what he said and his attempt for the easy way out when that's not fair to his team, correction, to his family

-But before he can move on from all of this he needs to talk to Keith about what he said because although he isn't going to give up his position anymore he needs to talk to Keith about what he said

-He doesn't know if he can really keep working alongside him if he never addresses how harsh his rejection was

-When he finally finds Keith alone, training of course, he builds up his courage and immediately fucks up

-"Why did you have to be so harsh?"

-Instead of having a calm and rational conversation he starts with a sentence that leads to a lump in his throat, a sure sign that he will not finish the conversation without crying

-And he wonders if he can just turn around and leave when Keith speaks up

-"Because I'm an asshole who can't control his emotions?"

-"That doesn't excuse what you said to me. I get that you don't like me back but there are better ways to tur-"

-"I'm sorry what?"

-Discussion happens, it's revealed Keith was the object of Lance's affections

My lovelies

-Growing up in a big family can make Christmas rather expensive

-The McClain family decided that instead of going bankrupt they would have the eldest children participate in Dirty Santa, often brining laughter and friendly rivalries

-This meant that Lance grew to know all the words of Christmas songs in both Spanish and English @christmaspictionary and learned to school his expression as to not lead his cousins and siblings to want to steal his gifts

- The rules were rather simple, everyone brings one gift to the table, fully prepared for anyone to get it. The reason being that each person then must open an unopened gift or steal from previously opened gifts. Then gifts that are stolen cannot be immediately stolen back but one must instead open and unopened present or steal another gift. And after 3 steals the gift is no longer an option for anyone other than the third thief.

-Then on the ship, when December rolled around Lance noticed how the team’s enthusiasm and mood took a nose dive, due to the time of the year and missing their family members

-He then decided to do something about it

-Then one day when everyone finished training and finally sat in the common room they noticed something that hadn’t been there before, a tree

-Something resembling a popcorn garland, paper people (colored to resemble the Paladins,) and a star made of spare parts decorated the weirdly shaped tree but it’s purpose eluded no one

-It was meant to be a Christmas tree, and it surpassed any and all hopes any of the Paladins had

-Lance then proposed they play Dirty Santa, explaining the rules in the process

-Once everyone agreed, it was time to assemble a gift that ANYONE would enjoy

-But just like the Voltron chant, Keith didn’t fully grasp the purpose of Dirty Santa which meant that he created his gift for his boyfriend

-Mind you the gift is lingerie for either himself or Lance tbh they’ll decide when the moment comes

-When the day arrived however and Allura opened the present she chose in front of everyone due to Lance’s urging, he knows he fucked up

-Because that means that someone that may not be Lance may open the gift in front of everyone and it’s too late to take it back

-And then Hunk takes it

-His heart drops and it all happens so fast

-One moment Hunk is all smiles and joy and the next he’s all flustered and letting out a squeal once he takes a peak at the gift closing it at once

-It just makes matter worse that he’s the only person to know that Keith and Lance are together

-This all then leads to both Pidge and Lance to be intrigued at Hunk’s refusal to show people the gift saying it’s nothing

-Next thing they know Keith steals it from Hunk and he doesn’t even open the gift…..now Pidge and Lance MUST know what’s in the box

-So Pidge steals it next and honestly they are just offended because apparently Keith is in a relationship and they didn’t know about this already???

-Meanwhile Shiro, Allura, and Coran are all blissfully ignorant of these shenanigans instead enjoying the innocent fun of the activity

-Finally it’s Lance’s turn, so obviously Lance steals the gift from Pidge and upon seeing the gift he simply raises an eyebrow and turns to look straight at Keith

-Tells him “You know there are more subtle ways of revealing a relationship right?”

-He then picks up the lingerie and shows it to everyone

-Keeping sane can be difficult when in the middle of a war that seems to have no end in sight

-It's even harder when the paranoia and helplessness begins to eat at you

-But even though it's hard and at times it seems impossible to Lance, it's the little things that always brings him back

-It's Coran's old stories and kind eyes

-It's Allura enduring his awful pick up lines only encouraging him to one day have her chuckle at one of them

-It's his banter with Keith that momentarily distract him

-It's Pidge playing Killbot Phantasm 1 just like they would have done back on earth

-It's Shiro's little encouraging compliments that push him to try harder

-But most importantly it's the way Hunk's eyes crinkle when he laughs

-It's how he constantly makes food that reminds him of home

-It's the way Hunk's laughter moves his whole entire body as if he can't control himself

-It's how Hunk's hugs always make him feel safe and loved

-But more importantly it's knowing that there are various people who love you and would be lost without you just as you would be without them

Muahahahahahahaha! Thanks for the 666 follows and yes that is an actual mug that I own.

- Pidge isn’t the type of person to go be all emotional and affectionate with people but when they want to they always go for the hypothetical

- One day they’re telling Lance that hypothetically he’s like the brother they never knew they wanted but can’t live without and asked Lance how he hypothetically felt about that

- Lance started crying

- Through the tears, he apologizes but he just can’t help it because that hypothetical would be wonderful

- As a result, Pidge blushes and admits it’s the truth 

- To which Lance responded by saying “I can die happily” and resumed crying, afterward they asked Pidge if he could hug them (P.S. they said yes)

- Things such as “Hey remember to eat,” “Keep hydrated,” “When’s the last time you slept?,” “Do you want company?” “Want to talk?,” and “Is it okay if we cuddle?” became an everyday occurrence

-  At times it has been known to be the reason Pidge doesn’t give up hope and means so much to them but they never really say anything to Lance about it

- Suddenly on a mission, while saving slaves off a Galra ship, Lance finds Matt and he can’t help but feel incredibly happy and excited for Pidge

-He can’t wait for them to reunite 

-Pidge cries once they see Matt and after hugging Matt for a long time they then hug Lance and whispers what feels like a hundred “thank you”s

- Lance then attempts to go back to the usual but suddenly Lance is already drinking water before he even asks

- Suddenly it turns to “Lance can’t you see I’m eating omg”

- Lance not being able to find Pidge because they’re sleeping

- “Don’t worry Lance, I know you get bored when I talk technology, so Matt’s going to help me with it, but thanks”

- “Nah I’m good, can’t anyways, Matt’s been telling me about Galra tech”

- “Honestly Lance, can’t you cuddle with Hunk?”

- And Lance is so happy that Pidge has their big brother back, but he can’t help but feel like he lost another sibling

- But it’s okay, he understands so he stays quiet and accepts he was just a place holder for Matt all along, really how stupid could he have been to think he held the position he thought he did

- All he is now is just that guy that found Matt, and that’s okay

- Then Matt starts going on missions and he’s great at statistics, which is fine

- Then Shiro starts trusting Matt’s opinions and plans, even listening to him when he warns that Keith may be a hothead WHich is FIne

- Then Hunk starts asking Matt what he thinks about the food he’s experimenting and asking Lance less and less WHICh is FINe

- And then suddenly Keith starts laughing and bickering with Matt, forming a friendship, something Lance has been trying to do for a year now WHICH is FINE

- But then both Allura and Coran start spending more time with Matt and just having a good time, to the point that Coran no longer has time or stories to tell Lance because “Well Lance I already told some stories today, maybe next time?” WHICH IS FINE

- One day while fighting the Galra, Lance is more to himself and doing his best

- Suddenly he sees a shot going for Pidge and just as he goes to protect Pidge Matt intervenes, injuring himself in the process and suddenly it’s NOT FINE

- Once Matt gets out of the healing pod and spends time with Pidge, Lance asks him to talk

- He then tells Matt “ I know Pidge is your younger sibling and you love them to pieces. I get it. But you can’t go on putting your life in danger, if you die I don’t know what Pidge and the other will do. They can’t live without you. If anything happens again you let me take the shot or find a way to push Pidge out of the way”

- To which Matt responds with “ But you’re also important?????”

- Lance then tells him “ Not as important as you, if it ever comes down to you and me, you need to run and make it back. Leave me behind or let me get shot but you need to live”

- Matt is shook but agrees thinking that Lance is being extreme but hey, he’s the one paladin Matt has yet to really get to know

- Fast forward and Pidge is wondering where Lance has been lately and asks the others only to learn that they can’t remember the last time they saw the blue paladin for more than five minutes outside of saving the universe business

- Pidge is determined to confront Lance because they miss him and his wonderful overbearing sibling like tendencies

- But then there’s an attack and well, Pidge is going to get shot

- They didn’t get shot

- They don’t know if Lance will make it to the healing pod

-Pidge is in shock

-They can’t lose Lance, they just got one sibling back, they can’t lose the other

March 22- Heartbreak @vldan —————————————————— - Not everyone can handle Lance and that’s okay as long as the one person who matters does

- You see Lance loves his boyfriend, Hunk, for accepting him for who he is and even respecting that he’s ace and doesn’t like kissing

- Lance is sure that Hunk will never hurt him purposefully and he is right

- One day the Paladins are on another strange planet that they have managed to save

- Lance is flirting with their tour guide, and unexpectedly the tour guide begins flirting back, becoming even more aggressive during their advances, going as far as to ask Lance out

- So Lance then apologizes and explains that as beautiful as she is, flirting for him is just a coping mechanism and he means nothing by it. Besides, he’s in a relationship

- Which prompts Hunk to look hurt and ask “What?! When? Buddy, why didn’t you tell me, I thought we told each other everything??”

-Lance swears no other words have or will ever shake him to the core as hard as those

- So Lance pulls out his mask, not a physical but an emotional one

- Lance smiles, waits till the tour guide leaves, laughs and jokingly said “Nah Hunk I’m not dating anyone it’s just nicer than flat out rejecting someone”

- At least he hopes people perceived it as jokingly, he’s not 100% sure he pulled it off

-Is it bad that no one noticed?

-Because damn does it hurt to learn that you were not in a healthy relationship

-With one of of the only people to even know that Lance is ace

-The person who Lance told everything

-The person who Lance repeatedly told he loved and Hunk always reciprocated, but now he is realizing that all those I love you(s) where not romantic but instead platonic, while Lance meant every word with all his heart

-The person who would sometimes be the only reason he woke up in the morning and the one person who he wants to cry to is the man who is making him feel this way

-The news is devastating

-Lance can’t find it in himself to even bother for the rest of the day, so he stops making jokes, stops smiling, and keeps to himself

-No one notices

-And soon that day becomes a week and from a week it turns into a year, and then the next thing Lance knows, he doesn’t remember how to smile naturally

-Lance doesn’t remember how to laugh because it’s funny or he’s delighted

-All his laughs and smiles are forced

-And no one notices

-No one notices even though he’s spending less time with Hunk–some would even say avoiding

-Hunk hasn’t even realized and if he has he doesn’t seem to care

This is a pre-transition headcanon and there are hints of dysphoria. If theses things trigger you I sincerely apologize. –Each journal signifies a year of Lance’s life– —————————••——––—————– -Lance keeps journals

-It all began when Lance started going to therapy at 11 years old

-The therapist said to write down any positive or negative thoughts, to use it as a healthy outlet of all feelings

-At first Lance refused to write in the red journal and each time the therapist would get a disappointed look in her face until she stopped asking and moved on

-Lance didn’t think about the journal again until one day Lance couldn’t take the empty, taunting pages, and the never ending commentary in her head

-So Lance opened the journal and wrote her first words

-“I’m a screw up”

-She stopped hearing the words in her head, the silence was amazing and astounding

-She kept journaling until she finished the notebook, just random thoughts trying to empty her head so she could have a moment of peace

-In the next journal, a girly one that Lance resented, purple with pink flowers; she knew she shouldn’t have asked her mama to buy it for her

-She is still going to therapy and sometimes she hears her mama cry to papa because why isn’t she happy, she is so young

-The first page of her second journal only has one sentence

-“I’m a horrible daughter”

-As Lance keeps journaling she keeps feeling better and better

-Until she starts having time to really analyze why she is unhappy

-The last page in her journal reads “I don’t think I’m a girl”

-They get a new journal, themselves because they learned their lesson from last time, it’s green

-The first page has one question

-“If I’m not a girl than what am I?”

-Lance then starts using they/them pronouns, yet haven’t told anyone else because what if they reject Lance before they even know who they are

-The third journal becomes a dictionary of sexualities and genders

-The last page reads

-“I’m a boy and I’m gay and that’s okay”

-But now in his fourth journal, Lance doesn’t know how his family will react his therapist thinks they will be accepting but he doesn’t know, so he gets to journaling in his black journal

-The first page is just the one burning question he always hears in his head “How do you come out?”

-That journal is just Lance’s reaction to YouTube videos of people coming out and the after effects, but mainly it’s his insecurities and anxiety over possible rejection

-The last page is one line and the ink is a bit smudged from tears

-“I’m going to tell them tomorrow”

-The next journal is yellow with orange flowers

-The first page answering his question from the first page of his black journal

-“I told them and I’m so lucky to have my family that just wants me to be happy”

-In this journal Lance commemorates coming out, the silence that followed, his mama’s sobs through her smile, because finally her baby was on the path to happiness

-The party his family did to celebrate him

-The moment when his sisters took him to buy his first binder

-The moment his parents told him that for Christmas they were going to get him top surgery only if he wanted (and he did, and they followed through)

-In the journal Lance’s thought were more positive than negative a stark contrast to the first red journal

-And now that Lance is looking back at them, Lance can’t help but feel a bit sad for the lost little girl

-But amidst the sadness there is happiness because he knows where that little girl wound up and as bad as he felt back then he loves being able to look back to those moments