The next time you saw your brother was months later. It was a few days into the new year, and almost a month out of lock down. Two months prior the military just up and left with no real explanation. 

He had appeared at the house with no warning. Just him, Robin, Dustin, and a bunch of moving boxes. Neither your father or your mother were home. You had been sat at the counter, a draft for an essay under your pencil, when the door clicked open.

“Mom? You’re back from Jazersice early.” You kept your focus on the paper beneath you.

“No she’s not.” Steves voice drifted across the room.

Your pencil froze momentarily. You turned to look at him, taking in the sight of the boxes and his two friends. 

“Oh.”

Steve frowned as your head turned away and you gathered up the papers splayed out on the counter. He frowned more as you made your way up the stairs without another word.

Dustin broke the tension, “That the essay for Klick?”

Steve held his breath, waiting for the snooty remark, the resesntment to fall out of your mouth.

You turned slightly, smiling at the curly haired boy. “Yup, working on my second draft right now.” 

Dustin smiled slightly, “You’re doing more than one draft? Crazy, I just turn in my rough draft and call it a day.”

A careful laugh fell from your lips, the sound sending a wave of shock through Steve's nervous system. “Well, not everyone can be kid genius like you. Plus, I like writing. Now if this were a chemistry project I’d be doing the bare minimum.”

Steve's brows furrowed at the interaction. Dustin started to reply when Steve cut in. “We’re here to pack my stuff up, not for you to get all buddy buddy with my sister.”

Steve missed the way the light drained from your face. Or maybe he saw it and just chose to ignore it. Either way, he had gotten what he wanted. Your face steeled over and you clutched the papers tighter. “Jesus Christ, fine. I’ll get out of your stupid hair. Have fun packing his shitty hairspray.” You spoke as you trotted up the stairs and to your room.

“Steve, they were just talking.” Robin gave him a small frown.

“Yeah, well less talking, more packing. That’s what you guy’s said you would do.”

You watched from your bedroom window as they shoved the last box into the back of Steve's BMW. Leaving again. It seemed to be the only thing anyone in this god forsaken family knew how to do.

You let the curtains fall as you returned to your desk, heart hardened and aching. Just outside, Steve cast a glance up at your bedroom, regret simmering in his chest. Maybe he would’ve felt better had it been someone else in the house. But of course it had to be you… and only you. 

Steve couldn’t help but wonder if that was the new normal for you again. Had his parents come home feeling bad and trying to make up only to leave again once they felt satisfied with themselves? He didn’t know. Because he hadn’t been around. 

“You should invite her to movie night.” Robin pulled him from his thoughts.

“She’s probably got plans with her boyfriend.” He spoke the last word in a mocking tone. Dustin shifted on his feet. He knew something. “Alright, spill Henderson.”

“I’m not sure it’s my place to tell.”

“Just spit it out already.”

“She caught him cheating on her a while back.”

“How come it seems everyone knows everything about her except for me?!” His anger rose violently. Anger in your shitty ex. Anger at you for not saying anything. Anger at himself for being angry with you. Anger at himself for knowing why. 

Robin glanced over at Dustin nervously. Dustin gave her a smal shrug. “Rob’s is right. You should invite her. She’s good friends with Max, so it’s not like she’ll feel out of place.”

Steve thought about it for a moment. “There’s no room in the car.”

“You’re so dense sometimes. We’re literally about to drop everything off, grab snacks, and then go over to the Wheelers. It’s not like we’re going straight there.” Robin flicked his head.

He swatted at her. “Okay okay! I’ll ask, but I really don’t think she’ll say yes.” Steve made his way back inside, and up the stairs. He stopped outside of your bedroom, listening to Stevie Nicks’s voice drift out muffled through the door. He knocked carefully. An action he had never felt the need to do before. He remembered a time when he would barge into your room without warning, pulling you out to the backyard to play some silly game or swim wildly in the pool. That didn’t feel right anymore. Steve felt like he had lost that privilege.

You turened down the music, before opening the door ever so slightly. You peeked through the crack. “Did you need something?”

Steve eyed the door. “Can you open the door?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, because I asked?”

“I don’t want to.” You spoke truthfully.

“Why?” His brows furrowed.

“I don’t know… I just don’t want to!” Your shoulders shot up defensively.

Steve stared at you, taking in your features. God… you had grown so much in so little time. Your hair had gotten longer, your nose lost its button shape, your eyes looked older. You had grown up, and he hadn’t even been there to see most of it.

“Are you going to stare at me like I’m an alien or are you going to tell me what you need?”

“Do you want to watch a movie with us tonight?” He asked quickly.

“Depends on who ‘us’ is.” 

“It’s gonna be me, Rob’s, Dustin, Max, Lucas, Will, Mike, Nancy, and Jonathan.” 

“You said Max is gonna be there?” The door opened up a little more.

He nodded quickly. “Yeah.”

You nodded slightly, “Yeah fine.”

“Okay. I’ll swing back by in a bit to grab you.”

“Okay…” You sounded unsure.

Steve felt his heart pang. “Hey… I’ll be here.” He promised.

You nodded, quickly closing the door. Part of you wanted to believe him. Believe that he would stick to his word. But the more realistic part of you was doing it’s best to keep your heart from shattering more.

Steve ran a hand through his hair. Maybe this was what the two of you needed. Just a night with friends. A normal night. 

He came by as promised. Even kicked Robin to the backseat so you could sit on the passenger's side. The Wheeler house was warm. The basement even warmer. You could tell there had been a lot of happy memories made down there. You quickly found your place beside Max. You and her had gotten close ever since she had returned to school and you had been asked to help catch her up and get her back into the swing of things. 

She was so fucking cool. She had been the one to push you to break up with your shitty ex. And she had been the one to cheer you up once you had found the courage to do it. The two of you sat shoulder to shoulder, giggling at the hot guy that took up the small screen.

Steve couldn’t help but watch. As the night had passed, he kept tuning into small parts of your conversations. Apparently you had a knack for writing and journalism. You and Nancy had gabbed about that for a solid hour. On top of that, you and Max had been running a small crime ring in high school. Scamming the freshman with cheat sheets, essay outlines, and gym passes. 

When the movie had finally come to an end, the group returned to momentary chatting. You sat beside Dustin and Will, helping them brainstorm some wicked ideas for a new campaign. Steve caught the way Dustin seemed to lean into your every word. Maybe had he not been drinking… it would’ve made him happy. Maybe under any other circumstances, he would have been elated. Because Dustin was a great kid, and he’s be lying if he said he had never thought about trying to set you and the curly haired kid up. 

But right now, three beers in and guilt drowning him, he felt defensive. Because what if something happened? What if the two of you got closer, and just like mom and dad, you whisked away the kid. What if he lost Dustin?

The thought hit him hard. Because slowly his heart realized he had once again put Dustin before you.

Robin nudged his shoulder. “They’re cute.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “No way. That’s not happening.”

“Don’t be stupid, Steve. They’re cute.”

From across the room, your ears caught her words. And old habits crept back in without you even noticing. You spoke up. “He’s not stupid.”

Steve froze. He caught the defensiveness laced in the statement, and the small quiver of your lip as you stared at the floor. “She was just joking, Bug.”

Robin nodded. “Yeah totally! I swear on it. And hey that was kinda cute! I see protection runs in your family, Stevie. See aren’t you glad I told you to invite her?” 

Steve felt the shift in your demeanor. And he silently cursed Robin for her slip up. You stared at him, those eyes drifting back into that look of disappointment.

Dustin seemed to sense the shift in air. He stood up, offering you a hand. “I can drive you home if you want?” 

“Yeah that would be great, thanks.” You took his hand, standing up slowly.

Steve stood as well. “I can take her home, Henderson.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re drunk, Steve. I’m not getting in the car with you.” 

“I’m not drunk.” He wobbled slightly.

“I’ll take you both home.” Dustin offered. 

“What about my car?” Steve pouted, thinking about his precious BMW being left all by itself.

“Christ, I’ll just take Steve to his place in his beamer.” You rubbed your temples.

“How are you going to get home?” Dustin gave you a frown.

“She can stay the night with me.” Steve stated like it was obvious.

You eyed him, “Yeah, I’ll just stay the night and his punishment will be driving me home with a hangover.” 

Dustin nodded, “Well… I’ll see you in school?”

You gave him a small nod and smiled back. “Klicks class.”

You shoved your brother into the passengers side of the BWM, before rounding the front and slipping into the driver's seat.

“Wait, do you even know how to drive!?” Steve sat up nervously.

“Yes.” 

“Who taught you?”

“Dad.” Your answer was clipped.

Steve felt that burning resentment climb back up his throat. It mixed in his mouth, lacing his next words with venom. “Right, of course he did. Can’t have daddy’s little angel missing out on some real nice father daughter bonding time.” The car lurched to a stop in the driveway. “Hey! Easy on the tires, dumbass!” Steve patted the dashboard.

“I don’t think you have the right to call me a dumbass after what you just said.” You shot him a dirty look. Slowly, you resumed backing out.

“Oh I don’t have a right?!” He crossed his arms.

“No, Steve, you really don’t.”

“We’re in my car! I can say whatever I want.” He stuck out his tongue.

You rolled your eyes. “God, you’re such a fucking baby sometimes! Where am I going?”

“Uh.. take a left at the stop sign. Oh I’m the baby!?”

“Yeah! You are! And I’m tired of you acting like I’m some massive hindrance in your life! Where now?”

“Go straight for a bit then turn on Corn Grove.” He pointed down the road.

“Oh, Corn Grove? Really? That’s a really nice area.” You nodded approvingly.

“I know right!? And Robs is moving in for the summer before she heads off to school.” He continued, his drunk mind completely forgetting about the ensuing fight.

You relaxed slightly, happy to have distracted him with something. “That’s nice. Where is she going?”

“Smith College. She’s going in undeclared for a semester, though. But I think she might go into broadcasting.” 

You hummed in approval, “Yeah, she would be good at that. I always liked listening to her on the radio.”

Steve turned his face towards you, brows furrowed. “You listened to our radio show?”

You shifted in your seat, hands gripping the steering wheel tighter. “Yeah? Everyone did.”

“I mean sure, I just didn’t think you did.”

“Why?” Your brows drew together.

Now it was Steve’s turn to shift uncomfortably. “I dunno, I just thought maybe you hated me for it.”

You swallowed hard. “I- I’ve never hated you, Steve. Was I pissed off? Yes. Was I upset? Yes. But I never-”

“Why were you upset?” He cut you off. You turned down the street. He pointed to a small house. “That’s me.”

You pulled into the driveway, his question still hung in the air as you unbuckled. “Do you have the key?”

“Yeah, I do. Can you answer my question?”

“I don’t want to do this tonight, Steve.” You rubbed a hand over your tired face.

He rolled his eyes. “That’s shit and you know it. You’re always looking to start something!”

“Me!?” You turned towards him.

“Yes you! You always find something to pick at me for! Always! I’m not home enough, I don’t talk enough when I am at home, I don’t hang out with you, I don’t know enough about you, I mean every little thing you get on me for! You’re just like mom and dad!” He threw his hands up.

You stared at him incredulously. You sat back in the seat for a minute, letting the silence fall over the cramped car. Steve felt the booze mixed with anger subside for a moment. His words sank into his chest. “Bug-”

“Just shut up.” You shook your head, before carefully getting out of the car. Steve watched you round to his side, helping him to his feet. You silently got him inside, leading him over to the couch without a word.

He watched your hardened face, guilt pooling in his stomach. He felt like he could throw up… from the guilt or the alcohol, he wasn’t sure. “Listen, Bug, I didn’t mean it.”

“Yes you did. Don’t sit there and throw a pity party for yourself, Steve. You meant it. And fine, that’s fine. If you want to think that my frustrations with you come from the same place as our parents then sobeit. I don’t see a need to correct you if you have no interest in actually talking to me like a fucking adult.”

He frowned hard, watching you move around his own house like it was your own. Watching you grab him a glass of water and some Advil for the morning, even as your hands trembled. He watched as you opened the fridge, grabbing a beer from the bottom and cracking it open without asking. He watched you down it quickly, tossing the can into the trashbin. He watched you prepare for a fight the same way he did. Hardening yourself up like that would make you any less vulnerable. You grabbed another shitty beer, pouring it back just like he had done when he was your age. As much as he wished you would turn out different… better than him. There were some things that blood couldn’t erase.

Steve felt nausous watching you knock back 3 beers within 10 minutes of silence. “Alright, that’s enough. You’re gonna get sick and throw up all over my new floors.”

“Oh sorry, wouldn’t want to add to your list of responsibilities.” You spit the word at him.

He cringed slightly, his words from the night he had left echoing in his head. He didn’t know why he had called you that… at least with such disdain. Because the truth was you were a responsibility, but you had been the kind that wasn’t over bearing. You had been the kind of responsibility that Steve looked forward to… until he had found a new one. Dustin.

His eyes met yours from his spot on the couch. He could see the fighting words building up in your throat. He could see the fear of a little girl behind your eyes. The same kind of fear he had willed away after a bad argument with his father. Only this time, he had been the one to put it there.

“I never meant it-”

“Would you stop saying that!? I was there, Steve! I know you meant it! You’ve never been able to hide your real feelings around me or anyone in our shitty family for that matter!” 

“Would you let me fucking finish!? I didn’t mean it like that! I didn’t mean to say it like it’s a bad thing! But you don’t get it! You are my responsibility! You have been since you were born! And I’ve never had a problem with it, I just got mad okay?! And I said it like it was a bad thing! I’ve never had a problem looking out for you, okay? But you are a responsibility.”

Your eyes watered. “No. I’m not.”

“Yes you-”

“I’m your sister.” Your voice trembled.

Steve's eyes shot up, taking in the guarded face before him. He swallowed hard. “Yeah well… sister’s are a brother's responsibility.”

The tears came fresh and hot down your cheeks. “Funny. Because I just saw you as a brother.”

The small house stood still. The air grew frigid in the silence. Steve turned his back to you. Not able to deal with the effects his words had on you. He vaguely heard the rustle of your sleeves and the quiet sniffles from your tears. He heard your footsteps heading to the door. He turned quickly. “What are you doing?”

You didn’t answer, just reached for the handle. Steve shot up. “Absolutely not. You aren’t getting behind the wheel after downing three fucking beers, are you out of your mind?”

“I’m not driving home.”

“Yeah, you’re not! And you’re not walking home either! It’s too dangerous!”

“Yes I am-”

“Do you want to be another fucking responsibility again? Because if you walk out that door your safety is on me.”

You bit the inside of your cheek so hard it drew blood. Your knuckles tightend on the shiny doorknob. You let it go like it had burned you, turned and shoved past your brother. “Fuck you.” You disappeared into some random room.

Steve stilled. He hadn’t meant… yes he had. He had wanted to shove the word back at you to get you to stay. Because he did mean it. And you knew it. Because you knew him. You knew the bruised and battered parts of him, the parts that made him feel sick to his stomach. And he knew you, how to push you to your limit, how to back off just in time, he knew what got to you and what didn’t. And he had promised himself to never use that knowledge to his advantage. Only he just had… and he knew it had cost him something irreplaceable. You. 

When he woke up the next morning, you were gone. A note saying you had called a friend, and if he cared that badly he could call home and finally rid himself of you. 

Steve called, hoping for reconciliation. 

You picked up the home phone, “I made it home.” 

The other line was quiet for a moment before a small, “Good. That’s good.”

You waited for something anything. Some form of olive branch, an apology. All you got was awkward breathing. “You can hang up now.” 

“I don’t want to.” He spoke quietly.

“Why? Cause you don’t want to have been the one to close the door… again?”

Steve shuttered. “Yeah.”

You had expected him to deny it. Maybe it would have made it easier on you. But the truth? The truth was vicious. The truth hurts you more than lies ever could.

A staggered breath left your mouth, your hands tightening around the phone. Steve waited for yelling. For fighting words. He waited for you to berate him, to call him a dick. Fuck he would have even accepted you calling him stupid. He wasn’t ready for what you gave instead.

“I wish you could know me.” 

Your voice was small, the kind of small that pulled back memories of grass stains and sticky fingers. 

The line went dead.

Steve stood at the end of the driveway, eyes locked onto the yellow bus heading down the street. It rolled to a slow stop in front of him, the driver giving him a sweet smile. The doors opened with a push of air and an industrial whoosh. You clambered down the steps eagerly, giving a rush ‘have a nice day,’ to the driver before launching yourself into Steve's open arms.

He let out a small grunt at the impact of you diving into him, but quickly wrapped his arms around you. “Good to see you too, Bug.” He laughed.

He led you inside as the bus continued down the road. “Guess what!?”

“What?”

“We had our class spelling bee today, and I won! I get to compete against the rest of the kids in my grade now, and then if I win that then I get to compete with other kids from other schools!” You jumped up and down excitedly.

Steve smiled proudly, ruffling your hair. “Atta girl! See I told you that you could do it! You just need to be confident in yourself. I’m so proud of you.”

You beamed up at him, his words flowing directly to your heart. “Where’s momma? I want to tell her!”

Steve's grin fell slightly. “She and dad went on a trip, Bug.”

Your brows narrowed, “But what about your basketball game tonight?”

“Tommy’s mom is gonna take us.” Steve carefully slid the backpack from your shoulders.

“How long are they going to be gone?” You looked up at him.

He frowned more. “I’m not sure, Bug. But hey, that just means we get to eat whatever we want! No more of that yucky meatloaf. And if you get your school work done before my game, then maybe we can stay up late and watch some grown up movies.”

Your frown disappeared immediately, and Steve felt his heart lighten at sight. At the time, he had never seen those moments as a responsibility. He just saw it as second nature. He saw it as simply making his little sister happy.

Steve’s middle school basketball team won the game. The team went out to Mcdonalds for victory fries. Steve didn’t make you feel like the odd one out, he never did. In fact the team was used to you tagging along. You had practically become the team's mascot/cheerleader/biggest fan. 

As promised, you and Steve built a massive fort in the living room and burnt three bags of popcorn while watching some silly pg-13 movie. 

Steve was happy to see you smiling, not giving your absent parents a second thought. He did his best to keep your mind away from their abandonment. But he couldn’t make up for everything. 

You sat on the small stage in the library, a number card hanging around your neck as you scanned the audience for your parents. Two collapsable chairs sat empty next to Steve. You won the spelling bee, but with no promise that you had a ride to the next school over, you had to drop out.

You never tried to win another spelling bee competition.

You only ever saw Steve around town in small fragments of time. A few seconds in the parking lot at Hawkins High as Dustin slid into the passenger seat. A glimpse of him renting a movie. A couple minutes at a diner when your group was finishing up and his was settling down. An hour or two at mandatory family gatherings. 

He never tried to strike up a conversation, and neither did you. It was like the two of you were foreign concepts to the other. You both silently kept up with the other through random conversations. 

Everyone talked about Steve like he was some kind of light to the world, but all he was to you was a shadow. Dustin had been kind enough to talk about Steve in small increments, providing you with the vital information. Information like, he had gotten a job, he had quick smoking, he was doing alright without Robin around, he was making okay money, he was living. 

You never had to ask. And it wasn’t like some information dump every month. Dustin made sure that you took it in slow increments, in casual ways. Like a brief mention of his job at lunch, or a grocery run before class started. 

You liked Dustin. You understood Steve's infatuation and love that he felt for the boy. Your frustration had never been with the boy your age, not really. You had always considered him a friend, had always stuck up for him when you could. Being Steve Harrington’s sister had its perks. You were immune from a lot of the bullying other kids faced. No one wanted to deal with an angry High School legend, so you walked through the halls unscathed. Sure maybe people whispered and talked, but it was nothing insane. Which meant you had the small authority to stand up for other kids. Kids like Dustin. After Eddie had died, you had been one of the only people to straight up yell at Andy and his little henchmen. Outwardly calling him a brainless tiny dick with two stubby legs. 

Maybe that was when Dustin had taken a real liking to you. Because at that time, he and Steve hadn’t exactly been on the best of terms, and yet there you were shaming a guy much larger than you. Dustin had thought that maybe Steve had put you up to it, only to quickly realize Steve didn’t know a damn thing about you. And maybe Dustin felt a little bad, realizing he was getting the treatment you were promised. But you had never been the one to make him feel bad. If anything, you had been much nicer than he would’ve been if he was in your shoes.

Which was why he had no issue giving Steve a lot of shit for the way he treated you. Unlike his gentle nature of sharing Steve's information with you, Dustin didn’t shy away from overloading Steve with facts about you. Dustin brought you up just about anytime he could. He brought up your essays, your top scores on assignments, the school paper you had taken over, your position on student council, your kindness to the freshman in the hallways, all of it. 

Dustin made sure Steve knew about all of your achievements, especially the one’s that he wasn’t there for. It drove Steve up the wall with guilt and anger. 

“She won her debate team a regional title a couple days ago, in a few weeks they’re actually headed to nationals.” Dustin casually dropped the information over pizza.

Steve’s eye twitched. “Can you not? For one night.”

Dustin shrugged, penciling in the stats for his newest D&D character. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about.” Steve groaned.

“Hmmm, nope.” 

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Steve sat back in his chair. Abandoning the baseball plays he was working on.

Dustin pretended to think for a moment. “Uh, yes. I do.”

“She would smack you upside the head for that.”

“Ah so you finally dare to speak her name.” Dustin sat back in the chair victorious.

“Shut up.” Steve grabbed the empty pizza box from the table, shoving it into the trashcan. 

“I don’t get it, Steve. Why don’t you just talk to her?!” Dustin watched him carefully.

“May I remind you she hung up on me.”

“Oh that’s such a bullshit answer and you know it! She’s your sister, not some distant relative.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure she really want’s to be my sister.” Steve sat back down at the table with a huff.

“Then why does she still defend your name like youre some ancient diety?” 

“What?” Steve looked up at the 18 year old.

“You don’t exactly have the best streak with the teachers at school. Do you know how many times they’ve sung her praise at the dispense of you? And every time she shuts the shit down.” 

Steve stilled. His pen came to a stop on the paper.

“Every. Time.” Dustin repeated.

“You got a thing for her or something?” Steve stared up at Dustin.

“What!? No! You know Suzie and I just-”

“Yeah, 5 months ago.” 

“Alright well it took you like 3 years to get over Nance.”

“That’s not true!” Steve defended.

“It so is! And why does it matter if I have a thing for her? It’s not like I’d need to go to for approval. According to you the relationship is over.”

“You would still need my approval.”

“That douche from freshman year didn’t.”

“Yeah and he cheated on her, so… yeah. My approval is mandatory.”

“That’s so stupid.” Dustin threw up his arms.

“You’re stupid!”

“Really, Steve? Very adult of you.” 

“Just shut up, you’re not dating my sister.” Steve nodded once like that was final.

Silence swallowed up the room, Steve’s mind going back to the fact that you were going to nationals. And he knew it was about to be the spelling bee situation all over again… expect this time you would be alone.

The thought made his heart stop momentarily.

“When did you say the national debate tournament thingy was?”

“This Friday.” 

“We’re going.” It wasn’t a question.

Dustin bit back a smile, schooling his expression. “Alright.”

“Alright.”

The stage lights were harsh on your eyes, blocking out the audience with bright cool lighting. Part of you was thankful, relieved that even if you wanted to look for your mom and dad in the crowd that you couldn’t see them on the off chance they actually were there. It wouldn’t be until after the debate was over that you would have to file into the large lobby and come to terms with the fact that they had missed it. But you couldn’t think about that now. Not with the competing team staring yours down.

Your teammate sat beside you, carefully organizing your note cards. The two of you had spent a few months researching and revising your argument. It was a stonewall of an argument. You just needed to deliver it with authority and persuasivness. 

You were up first. You stood at the podium, note cards trembling slightly in your hands. Your eyes began slowly adjusting to the lights, some of the audience peaking through your sight. You couldn’t help but scan the first few rows. Chair after chair was occupied with unfamiliar faces. Until.

Steve. 

Steve sat right in the middle, eyes locked onto yours. Beside him sat Dustin, and on the other side was Max.

The mic caught the slight hitch in your breath, the lights capturing the relief in your eyes. Steve gave you a strong nod. A silent confidence boost. A silent gesture of support. You took a deep breath.

“Your time starts now.”

Winning a state  championship debate title felt like a breath of fresh air. The metal around your neck had you lifting your chin up high as you sped into the lobby. You scanned the crowded room for Steve. 

You heard your name called out from your left before two strong arms wrapped around you and lifted you into the air. You could smell the Farrah Fawcet hairspray as you hugged Steve back, feet kicking back.

“Holy shit! You did it!” He set you down, hands squeezing your shoulders.

He looked proud. Because he was. Steve was undeniably, uncontrollably proud of you. 

You smiled wide, bouncing on your heels. “I did it!!”

He brought you into another hug. A longer, loaded hug. A small flag planted in the ground in the shape of two people holding onto someone they had missed more than anything.

When you pulled away your eyes jumped to the two teens your age waiting their turn to congratulate you. You hugged Max tightly, thanking her profusely for coming. You turned to Dustin, an even wider smile taking its place on your features. You brought him into a long hug, arms wrapped around his neck, head on his shoulder. He gently wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you back just as tight. 

“You beat their asses.” Dustin smiled at you as you pulled yourself away.

“I dunno, it was a pretty close call.”

Max slung an arm around your neck, “So humble, just take the compliment. You crushed it.”

Steve could see you weren’t used to the support, the attention, the love. And he was glad you were finally getting it. “We should celebrate.” He commented.

“Where?” You looked over at him.

“We can just go back to my place.”

The offer caught you slightly off guard. “S-sure!”

Dustin and Max shared a private look before both making up some shitty excuse about why they couldn’t hang out. Dustin hoped that some grand reconciliation would magically take place. Max knew better. 

The drive back felt normal, it felt like lost years all rolled up into a short 2 hour car ride. The beamer was full of smiles and loud boisterous laughter. It should have made Steve feel better. But if anything, it pointed out just how much of your life he had missed. He had missed the drop of your voice, the turn from high pitched giggles to deep teenage laughter. He had missed out on your new interests. The change from fairy books and multicolord crayons to poetry and oil paints. Deep down, you were the same color… just a different shade. And Steve had missed it.

The same way you had missed out on the sudden development of his fear of thunder and lighting. You hadn’t been there to see doubt creep into his bones. Had missed the change in the way he constantly checked on those around him. Making sure everyone was safe, buckled in tight, breathing properly. He was a different shade too.

After Dustin and Max had been dropped off at their respective homes, it seemed reality had caught up. The drive to his house was delicate, your knee bouncing nervously, his grip on the wheel tight. 

Steve did his best to at least try and make things feel normal. At least as normal as they could. He pulled out a few drinks for the two of you, and put on some random movie. You sipped at the can in your hand, eyes drifting around the quaint home. Picture frames littered the walls. Most of them were solos of his friends. A couple group pictures here and there. A lot of him with Dustin and Robin. And none with you. 

You drank faster. 

Steve stood in the kitchen, rummaging through his fridge for something.

“I’ve got… like week old pizza?”

“Gross.” 

“It’s been in the fridge, not sitting on the counter.” 

“Still gross.”

“Alright… then what about some microwavable lasagna.” 

You scrunched your nose. “I’d rather take moms shitty meatloaf.”

A small laugh escaped Steve's lips. “Wow, someone feels strongly about my taste in food.”

You smiled despite yourself. “What else ya got?”

“Uhhh… lettuce, half a tomato, some boxed leftovers from a failed date, half a bag of chips, a jar of pickles, some bread. Oh! I’ve got stuff to make either peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches or grilled cheese!” He held up the bread like it was a prize.

You quickly tipped back your head, emptying the rest of the can into your empty belly. You stood and made your way to the kitchen, eyes scanning the pantry. You zeroed in on a singular box of mac and cheese. 

“Saving this for a rainy day?” You pulled it out.

Steve carefully took it. “Yeah, guess so. You want it?”

It felt like opening up Pandora's box… and still, you nodded. 

Three drinks in and you felt nauseous. Not from the beer, but from the all too familiar sight of your brother making you a shitty serving of mac and cheese.

You watched him with sad eyes. You had longed for a moment like this not even a year ago… and now here it was happening before your own eyes. And you felt sick. Sick with unresolved anger and frustration. Sick with gratitude because at least he had shown up today. Sick with love for someone who came and went as they pleased. 

“I can feel you staring.” Steve spoke.

You blinked, but didn’t take your eyes off him. “So?”

“So, can you not?”

“I’m not even doing anything!” Your shoulders shot up in defense. 

Steve grumbled. “You know exactly what you’re doing.” 

“No! I really don’t!” You cracked open the fourth beer. Taking a long angry swig.

“God! Would you slow down?” He whipped around, snatching the can from your hands. “You’re gonna get fucking alcohol poisoning!”

You frowned, letting him take the drink. “It’s been like 2 hours, Steve.” 

He blinked and turned to the clock. “It has?”

Sure enough, the two of you had been dicking around his house doing nothing for 2 hours. 

While he was distracted you carefully plucked the can back.

“Just finish up the macaroni, I’m fucking starving.” You took another long swig.

Steve hated it. He grabbed the can back. “Alright, that’s enough.” He carefully poured the rest down the drain.

“Well that was a waste.”

“Yeah like you.” He spoke without thinking. “Wait shit- not like that. I just mean that you’re wasted. Not that you’re a waste.”

You stared at him. “I’m not wasted.”

He rolled his eyes, turning back to the mac and cheese. “Do you have to fight me on everything I say?”

“Yeah, cause you’re always incorrect.” You shrugged.

“That’s a polite way of calling me stupid.” He glared at you.

Your eyes widened in offense. “Are you fucking kidding? You think I’m calling you stupid?”

“Sure seems like it.” He bit back.

“God, you really don’t know me at all.” 

A switch flipped in Steve.

“God is all you do complain?! I’ve spent all day looking out for you! I drove two hours to see you in your tournament! I sat through a boring ass load of speeches. Sat through your speech. I drove you home! I open my doors for you, let you drink my shit! Now I’m making you your favorite food. And I don’t even get so much as a thanks Steve. I really appreciate you taking time out of your day and supporting me! Nope! None of that! You just sit there and bitch and moan about everything I’m not doing right!” 

Your body grew hot with anger. The booze conjoined with resentment, making way for the nasty truth of what you felt.

“You want me to thank you for being a brother? You want me to thank you for one measly day of support when you’ve been gone for years now?! Is that what you really want me to do? You want me to make you feel good about yourself. To assure you that you can make up for lost time with a flash your smile and some fucking boxed mac and cheese!? Is that what you want?”

Steve stared at you, eyes hard and defensive. You couldn’t stop.

“Because news fucking flash! You spending maybe 12 hours in total being a supportive brother doesn’t make up for the 4 almost 5 years that you’ve been gone! This shit doesn’t make up for ditching me for some other kid my age! It doesn’t make up for all those nights you left me in the god damn house alone! It doesn’t erase the fact that you left me just like our parents did! At least with mom and dad it was expected. They didn’t promise me to stick around! They didn’t promise to always be there for me! But you did! You promised me! And left! You. Left. I don’t know why. I doubt I ever fucking will! And it was fine, it was fine because I figured you would come back. I figured one day maybe you would realize that while you were out playing happy family I was sitting at home waiting for my brother to come home!” 

You blinked back tears, taking a deep breath before continuing. 

“You don’t get it. And you don’t get me. You think you still know me. You don’t. And you haven’t for a long time. You know the version of me you think is still willing to accept your shitty attempts at caring. Do you know how it felt seeing you go off with a kid my age, protecting a kid my age, making that kid feel safe, giving someone my age the love you promised me? You don’t. You don’t get it, and you’re not willing to get it.”

Steve's nails dug into his palms. “You’re the one that hung up the phone that day.”

“You asked me to.” The words were soft.

“Because I couldn’t!”

“Yes you could. You just didn’t want to be the one to pull the plug. You didn’t want to be the one in the wrong. You wanted the blame to fall on me. And at this point I’m willing to take it. Because I think I’ve finally realized you haven’t thought of me once. You didn’t think of me sitting abandoned in that house. You didn’t think about me enough to actually care. I think today is the first time you’ve actually done something for me. Not to make yourself feel better. But truly for me.” 

“You must think I’m a pretty shitty brother then huh? That I just suck at being there for people.” His voice was laced with venom.

Your shoulders dropped slightly. “No. I don’t think you’re a shitty brother. Because I see the way you treat Dustin. And I see the way you care for your friends. I just wished you could have been able to do the same for me.”

The smell of burnt pasta and cheese drifted through the air. Steve turned to the stove. “Shit-” He brought the pot over to the sink, fanning the smoke. “Shit- do you think adding water can fix it?”

You frowned more, grabbing your jacket. “There’s no fixing that, Steve.”

“Wait- I can make another box.”

“Forget it. I haven’t enjoyed a bowl of mac and cheese in years. I doubt this one will be any different.” You threw on your jacket.

“Where are you going?!” Steve followed you.

“Unless you want to keep fighting, I’m going home.”

“Just- at least let me drive you home?”

“I’ll walk”

“Bug-” 

“You don’t get to use that nickname every time you feel bad, Steve. I wish you would stop calling me that… It makes me feel like you don’t even know my name.” 

Steve caught the glint of a tear down your cheek. He would take anything from you at the moment. He would have rather you screamed, hit, berated, lashed out at him. This- this quiet reserved acceptance was excruciating. It hit him in the chest so hard he could barely breath. 

“Of course I know your name.”

You wiped at the tear, turning away more. “I’ll see you later, Steve.” You stepped into the dark night.

“When?” Steve stood helplessly in the doorway.

Your frame was illuminated by the warm porchlight. 

“In six months when you decide to try and be a brother again.”

It wasn’t meant to be a jab. It was simply your truth.

He swallowed hard, “I love you.” 

A last ditch effort to get you to change your mind. You paused momentarily.

“I love you too.”

You stepped out of the light, heading down the street. Steve slowly let you go, shutting the door quietly. He returned to the kitchen, grabbing the last beer from the fridge before heading up to his room. He reached over, turning on the lamp on his bed side the table, illuminating the delicate framed picture of your arms wrapped tightly around Steve's neck, him hoisting you up on his hip, dizzy smiles painted on both of the young faces.

The bed dipped beside you, Steve cradling you into his side as you quietly cried. 

“I hate them.” The words sounded wrong coming from such a tiny mouth

“I know.”

“They- they’re horrible!”

“I know.”

“Why do they just get to leave us?”

“Because their love isn’t like ours.”

You sniffled and looked up at your older brother.

“What do you mean?”

“They love when it’s convenient. We love each other, always. No matter what.”

You nodded. “Yeah. No matter what.”

“It’s called unconditional love.”

You nodded again, storing the word away. “Unconditional.”

“So I love you even when sometimes you get a little too silly for me. Or when you mess up my baseball cards. And you love me even when I’m stupid and-”

“You’re never stupid.” 

He smiled. “Alright, you love me even when I mess up your hair on purpose, or when I embarrass you in front of your friends.”

You nodded.

“That’s unconditional love. And it’s the rarest kind there is.” He spoke softly, wiping away your stray tears.

You gave him a small smile. “I guess that means it’s really special?”

“Incredibly.” 

“Well.. I love you unconditionally, Steve.” You held out your pinky.

He linked his with yours.

“And I love you unconditionally, Y/N. And I’ll never leave you. Not ever.”

You did love your brother. Even if sometimes you wished you didn’t. But he had been right all those years ago. Your love for him was unconditional. You loved him even when you only saw him every 6 months. The only times Steve ever came around was for holidays. He came over for the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Mainly for an hour or two before he made some excuse about work.

Conversations were civil, but never personal. Neither of you were willing to hurt the other again. You had figured out awhile back why Steve had pulled away. Of course it had been the whole responsibilities thing… but it had also been that you made him look bad. Holidays showed that to you. 

Steve was supposed to be the one to go places. He had the college fund stored away, the job opportunities lined up. But instead, you had been the family academic. You had just been announced as your graduating class Salutatorian, second to Dustin. You had gotten yourself into a shit ton of amazing schools, had even secured a couple full rides and a lot of scholarships. Steve's college fund became yours. And everyone seemed keen on rubbing your success in his face. Especially your father. Somehow, you had gone from the title of ‘daughter’ to ‘my little angel’ all because you had outstanding grades. Not because there was any real love. 

Aunts and uncles seemed to relish in asking you all about your college plans in front of Steve, casting him fake sympathetic glances. It would have driven him crazy had you not always stuck up for him in that polite yet deadly way you always did. You didn’t brag, you didn’t go on and on about your success, even though he knew you had every right to. You made it a slightly easier pill to swallow. 

Graduation was rough. Because he hadn’t come to support you, not truly. Sure it was a bonus that you were there, but no, he had come to support Dustin. And this time, your parents had actually shown up, so Steve didn’t feel like he needed to congratulate you. He stuck to Dustins side as your parents paraded you around like a trophy instead of a kid. 

Steve had slightly overheard a brief conversation between you and Dustin. He heard the exhaust in your voice, the desperation to be anywhere but under your fathers harsh hand. And he had felt bad then, because he had spent the whole time avoiding you on purpose… when maybe he could have done something to help. Dustin invited to the Wheelers house to celebrate, a way to get away from your parents.

You eye’d your brother nervously, “I don’t know, Dustin. I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

Dustin caught the look, “I’ll make sure he behaves. Please? I really want you to be there. You look like you need a drink or something.”

You let out a small laugh, the first one all day. “Alright, sure.”

Dustin gave you a toothy grin, “I’ll pick you up.” 

You gave him a small nod, and the quickest kiss on the cheek before your father beckoned you back to his side.

Dustin glanced over at Steve. Steve paused for a moment before giving him a small nod. Dustins shoulders relaxed and he disappeared into the crowd to find his friends. Steve watched you for a moment. The way you tensed as your dad placed a firm hand on your shoulder, keeping you stuck at his side as he introduced you to some random business man whose ugly son was eyeing you up and down.

Steve pushed away from the wall he was leaning against, his feet moving before he even thought about what to say. He was by your side with a wide grin before he knew it. “There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

You blinked momentarily before catching on. “Oh! Sorry! I was just in the middle of a great conversation with Mr. Frank here.”

“Oh! Well I don’t mean to interrupt or anything, I just wanted to let you know if you want that nice celebratory dinner I promise then we should get going.”

You looked apologetically at him, “I don’t know, I was just getting to know Kevin here-”

The business man stopped you. “That’s alright. I’m sure there will be plenty of other times for us to speak. Maybe over dinner one night?”

You nodded, “That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much, it was such a pleasure meeting you.”

You and Steve dashed out of there before either could reply. 

Steve held back a laugh, “Kevin sure looked like a catch.”

You laughed, “Shut up, he’s really….. Nice.”

“Well it would be unfortunate if he were mean AND ugly.”

You snorted slightly, shoulders dropped into a relaxed posture. “Thank you for getting me out of that.”

“Just doing my 6 month brotherly duty.” He nudged you. The reference wasn’t mean, if anything he was poking fun at himself.

You held back another laugh. “I appreciate it, really.”

“Don’t mention it. And hey, maybe you can pencil me in for every 3 months now.” He opened up the car door for you.

“Someone’s getting bold. Not sure you’re ready for that yet.” 

“Try me.” He carefully shut the door.

You waited until he was in the driver's seat before asking, “So where exactly are we going? Because I know you don’t actually have a celebratory dinner planned.”

“You’re right, I don’t. But I was thinking maybe a celebratory McDonalds run? Like old times?” He offered out the olive branch.

You stared at him for a moment before accepting with a nod. “Alright, as long as you’re paying.”

“Say’s the person with a college fun and a full ride in her wallet.” 

“Listen- I didn’t ask for the fund-”

“I know. I was just kidding. I know you didn’t ask for it.” He assured you.

You nodded, thinking quietly for a moment. “I asked him to at least give you half. I thought maybe it would be enough for you to get a nicer house or maybe make some renovations on the one you have.”

Steve nodded, “I know… he gave me the check earlier today. Told me it was your very very very belated grad present to me.” 

You laughed, “No way he actually said that.”

“He didn’t. He said something along the lines of ‘your sister’s a stubborn pain and is making me do this so here’s a check with a whoooole lotta zeros.” He laughed.

You smiled. “It’s true. I’ve always been a stubborn little shit.”

“Yeah, I know. I vividly remember the time you made me write ‘Steve Harrington is not stupid’ like 200 times.”

“You rememberd that?” You looked over at him.

Steve shifted slightly, glancing over at you nervously. “Of course. It was the first time I realized you were looking out for me just as much as I was looking out for you.”

You nodded slightly, eyes on your fingers. “I’d make you do it again.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I believe you.”

A small stretch of silence passed. Steve durmmed his fingers against the wheel, before finally working up the courage to speak.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” A small beat. “So am I.”

“I know.”

The walls around your heart cracked slightly.

“I’ve not been a very good brother to you. And I’ve done a lot of thinking about what you said that one night… about me not willing to understand. You were right. I haven’t been willing. And- um- I’ve started to realize… that it-”

“Has to be mutual?” You finished for him.

He let out a long sigh and nodded. “Yeah.”

You nodded, “Yeah, I realized that too. I also realized that I think we were both doing what we could to get out of the shit hole. I put up with them just long enough to get away, and you found your escape a little earlier.”

“I wish I could have brought you with me… found a way out for both of us.” He looked over.

You looked back. “I found my way out… and I uh- I’m not sure I would have handled your way out particularly well.”

Steve’s brows shot up. “You know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Who-”

“Dustin. Y’know he’s like our number one supporter.” You smile at the thought of him.

“I should’ve known that little shit would- you’re blushing.” Steve smirked.

“Fuck off, I am not.” You shoved his head back towards the road.

“Totally are.” 

“Steeeeve!” You groaned, hiding your face in your hands.

“Alright alright, but we’re talking about this over fries. So you know everything?”

“I think so? To be honest I’m not sure. I kinda blacked out after the recounting for the first few years.” You laughed a bit.

“As much as I wish I could go back and be there for you- if it meant dragging you into that… I would’ve done all of it the same way.” He spoke carefully.

“I know. And I appreciate your protection, even if I mistook it for abandonment.”

“Well… it’s not like I didn’t abandon you. I did.”

You smiled a bit, “I know, I was just trying to make you feel better.”

He laughed slightly. “I appreciate that. But um- I am really sorry. Like really really really sorry. I hate not- knowing you.”

The car carefully rolled to a stop, the ignition cutting in the parking lot. You looked over at Steve, walls down even more. He stared back, his eyes letting you into his soul.

“Well, if you’re willing to relearn, I’m able to share.” 

He nodded. “And if you’re willing to let me in, I’m able to be there from now on.”

You smiled, nodding. “Well, I personally think starting with my new McDonalds order is a great place to start.” You stepped out of the car.

Steve followed, a smile filling his face. “Can I guess first?”

“Sure.”

“Alright… cheeseburger, duh, fries and…. A milkshake?”

You narrowed your eyes. “What kind of milkshake?”

“Uh…. vanilla?”

You shook your head, patting his back, “So close, yet so far, brother.”

Steve smiled more, opening up the door for you.

The summer was one of the nicest summers you can remember. You and Steve took some real time to rebuild your relationship. It wasn’t always the smoothest, but it had a lot of potential. And after a lot of long talks and exaggerated speeches that started with ‘I swear to god, Henderson, if you hurt her you’re…’ you and Dustin started seeing each other. 

Half of the reason why Steve gave his stamp of approval was because he figured it would have to end before college. Until he finally realized you were going to the same school, and then he got really really really protective and annoying about the whole thing. Speaking of college, Steve had been the one to help move both you and Dustin in. Before leaving he set a lot of ‘ground rules’ that deep down he knew wouldn’t last a week. Secretly, deep deep down, Steve was incredibly pleased to see you and Dustin getting together so nicely. Though he would absolutely never admit it under ANY circumstances. Steve came up every other weekend, was the one to drive you home for the holidays, and even let you crash at his place during those two months off.

Things weren’t always smooth. Old wounds took a lot of time to heal, and occasionally one of you would rip them back open. But the love never left. And each time wounds came back with a rude bite, you took careful care to stitch it closed. It was to be expected. You knew how to get under each other's skin, but you also knew how to patch each other up. Even when frustrations grew, and words were spat, one thing never changed: the both of you were willing and able to continue moving forward.