I,like any rational Person,hate john Winchester,but what I hate even more is the fanon portrayal of him.
Because tell me 𝘸𝘩𝘺 the fandom is obsessed with portraying him as the most black and white,one dimensional, version of an abusive father ever. When the ways he is abusive in canon are so much more interesting.
His character traits are always boiled down to four things:
Being "men don't cry" person.
And for the record, I'm not saying these are completely wrong. Except the last one—that man cries in every episode he's in,what are we doing. (Especially when it's used to explain why dean is repressed which is also wrong). There are hints in the early seasons that he has been physically violent with dean. He's from the 1970's and the two nuns hunt in his journal isn't great. I get why people say he's homophobic.
However,it feels like people think these are the traits that make a parent abusive. But,umm remove These four. Make john not homophobic in the slightest,if he had never been violent. And he would 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 be a terrible father. Again the ways he's explicitly abusive in canon are far more interesting.
It's angrily throwing the food little dean made away. It's giving 9 year old Sam a gun when he was scared. It's 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 16 year old dean for stealing a sandwich and leaving him in a boys' home for two months just to come back and get him when dean has made a life for himself there. It's disowning 18 year old sam for wanting to go to college. It's maybe definitely using his kids as bait for a shtriga and god knows what else(I haven't forgotten not forgiven dead man's blood). it's leaving Sam and dean alone for days,maybe weeks,locked in a motel room. It's using Sam's ( and presumably Dean's?) college fund for ammo. It's the isolation.And godstiel knows what else I'm forgetting about.
It's also taking dean fishing. It's keeping watch over Sam while he was at Standford. It's giving dean the impala when he reached 18. It's keeping Sam's little football trophy. It's keeping Dean's first saw thingy. It's selling his soul to save dean. It's managing to resist Azazel.
Because contrary to popular belief,john wasn't awful a 100% of the time, nor did he hate his children. I think it would be 𝘧𝘢𝘳 easier for Sam and dean is that was true. But it isn't.
They have good moments. He loves them. They 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 he loves them. And they love him. That makes things much more complicated.
And here's the deal(and I can't believe I'm saying this)...but John was 𝙍𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩.
Some𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 was after his family. His children Weren't safe.
We talk alot about John being paranoid,and he was....but the paranoia was 𝙛𝙖𝙧 from unfounded.
Sam was surrounded by demons his whole life. He goes off to Stanford and leaves the hunting world for four years only for it to be discovered that a demon had possessed his best friend with the express purpose of engineering a situation that would drive Sam back into the hunting world of his own free will. I'm sure an angel or two were keeping an eye on dean.
The tragedy of the Winchesters is that they were 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 going to be part of the supernatural . That wasn't a consequence of john raising them as hunters. There's Mary's deal and Azazel feeding Sam his blood,but it goes even 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 than that. This was a plan 𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 in the making. Mary and John were "arranged" together for this.
John raising Sam and dean as hunters didn't cause their involvement in the supernatural but what it 𝘥𝘪𝘥 change was their ability to 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵.
That adds another layer to the fuckedupness of it all. He ruined their lives. He 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘥 their lives. Those two things can and do coexist.
