Baby let's not Lie. Its eyes are alive.

Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko

One of these days the horse is gonna come out of pinko with opposable thumbs, and then we're all in trouble.

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

I just don't think we ever wrapped up the Clown Sightings of 2016 in a satisfactory way.

In honor of Lindsey Graham not living to regret any of that shit--

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

you people aren't CASTING

I love that we’ve always been making little guys

The prevalence of the coyote as a trickster in American myth, the jackal as a trickster in African myth, and the fox as a trickster in Eurasian myth proves that the Funny Dogy is a staple across cultures

schrödinger's mitch mcconnell??

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

Happy centennial to the turtle who bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river