@morrbidkid - Tumblr Blog

little kidthing in your class who plays with roadkill

disaffected teenager desperate for love

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nosoc0mial

Sketch of an examination, from memory

tgirl2000

okay back on the table now but the magic is kinda gone :/ but. i will atill have fun. it sucks but it will be okay

morrbidkid

i mean maybe it will still happen. i am just feeling burned and dont want to get myself excited and looking forward to it :/ hes still asleep

morrbidkid

stupid + dumb of me btw he woke up and still! wont! say! but it is very clearly no longer on the table

#its the not telling me that pisses me offfff man like #i went to all the trouble to do this with you. can you cant even be assed to tell me when you back out.#whatever #he is super in his feelings about it #and was like :( i dont want to disappoint you :(#brother you already did! apologize and move on Please so we can at least still hang out tonight and not be weird #i tolddd him too 'it is not the backing out that bothers me. it is the leaving it up on the air #and leaving me to wonder and be confused and hurt for HOURS. FUCKING. HOURS.'#but i said it much calmer. and more reassuringly. lol.#like no you are not A Disappointment but you have hurt my feelings and disappointed me so pls fix it as best as you can and move on

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corpsecoded-deactivated20250106

— The Incest Diary

okay failed at not having big feelings about this i am so upset. man i took time off of work for this. i asked sososo many times to make sure he really wanted to do it and clarified repeatedly that he actually meant it and was going to go through with it. because he has let me down multiple times before. when he said he wanted to reschedule i checked several times again to make sure he didn't just want to cancel. there were literally dozens of points that he could have said "hey actually i can't/don't want to/don't have time to do that". He acted so excited about it and told me he was looking forward to it several times! now it's almost five hours past when we had plans and i am sitting on the couch all by myself crying again.

#even if he shows up and is like 'okay i'm ready now' i don't think i'll be in a headspace for it now.#it takes a lot of trust to let someone do that to me. and he has kind of shattered it at this point.#and i might get there again but almost certainly not today.#man. idk.#i'll see what he says when he comes back ig.#it just feels so fucking mean #he saw me today even!! got home and said lets go to the store #even though we already!! had!! plans!! and said nothing about it #then got home and before i could ask him about it went to bed.#and i know he didn't forget. he's been planning and setting this up with me literally for a week and a half.#again. big deal. all day plan. i took time off of work and turned down plans with friends and did a bunch of prep.#and he just doesn't give a fuck i guess.

morrbidkid

hitting my head on the wall until blood

i mean maybe it will still happen. i am just feeling burned and dont want to get myself excited and looking forward to it :/ hes still asleep

#4 hours out from original start...

cried 1 tear over it i am now entering buddah mode where i dont care about anything and nothing can possibly upset me 👍

#its fine. it is going to be fine.#its the taking time off work that really gets me though.#like. plans were pretty physically intense. so i specifically had 3 days to recover.#he changed it two the second of my recovery days. meaning id get 1 day to recover.#but sure. i can handle it. i'll just be sore at work for a bit instead of sore at home. annoyed i took of a day i could've worked but #its fine.#now i have taken three days off work for nothing. and spent a significant amount of time prepping for nothing.#and he hasnt said anything at all. dude. what the hell.

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boy made plans with me that i was Very Excited for and in fact Took Time Off Work for and cancelled them. but rescheduled for today. and i was majorly bummed but like whatever only a few days off. got all dressed up for it. is now... two hours past when plans were for. he is asleep. i am. really sad and disappointed.

#i was so excited :(#didnt even say he was cancelling today just has not brought it up and went to sleep. well.#ig i'll ask him about it when he wakes up later. no clue when #it is. very frustrating. that i can't depend on him.#like. often.#idk. when he made the plans even there was a little voice in the back of my head that was like dontttt trust do not trust you will be let #down!!#but i confirmed and re-confirmed and made Absolutely Sure he meant it with him before accepting. and yet!#whatever. i cant do anything about the choices he makes. i am just pretty hurt about it.

it is very nice to no longer crave being a waif lol. i am a big bitch and i look Good as a big bitch. shame most people cant throw me around but get me drunk or high and that gets a lot easier anyway

#i do miss being able to be picked up a lot #i was Heartbroken over my parents not picking me up anymore for yearssss after i got too big #(esp because my mom would straight up be like. dude you are Too Fat for me to hold you)#and i never rlly got over it #but i do have a couple friends who are strong asf who and it feels nice. yayyy

not anorexic anymore truly lacking the Drive and Desperation that bred my eating disorder but fuck i would not eat for months if it meant i would get and stay the size i was as a teen. i know its not realistic. but i want it so bad

#not Even because i hate being fat really i love the way i look #i think being fat suits me really well lol (and most people honestly... i <3 fat)#but so many of my favorite clothes are from that time because i actually was confortable enough to explore and try to look good and have fun #and now none of them fit me #and i tried looking up the brands &etc to just buy them in larger sizes and sell/donate the small ones #but many of them were never made in anything bigger than a medium or large 🥲#trying not to have a tantrum over it rn. its Fine. im just sad

tooferaltobeheard

I want to be sore. I want to feel you in my bones. I want to walk through my day tomorrow and have every step remind me of what you did. Of what I let you do. Of what I begged you to do.

#theoretically getting this tonight... v excited

rivaersa

Jimmy DeSana, Cigarette, 1979

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morrbidkid

sad and lonely because partner left our hanging out time to play games with his friends. and i said it was fine cuz i thought it'd be like an hour. but we are now past two. and im sad and lonely

morrbidkid

wehhh they are coming back shortly. i hope.

sad and lonely because partner left our hanging out time to play games with his friends. and i said it was fine cuz i thought it'd be like an hour. but we are now past two. and im sad and lonely

#was already bummed abt it but now im like. actually hurt #not his faultlttt i told him it was fine #i just didnt realize that'd mean we wouldn't hang out at all anymore tonight :(#we were watching a movie and having snacks together :(

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