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@vibecheckd
Current Buddie Fic

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genuinely me
Okay but the article is fucking sending me
Made this guy from my favorite Gerard Donelan comic
spin the wheel and assign an animal to prev
can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

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spin the wheel and assign an animal to prev
Okay, so riffing on other people's posts about Eridians being ambush predators versus humans being persistence predators: do you think that affects how Rocky and Grace behaved in the "Blip-A detected" scene?
Grace POV: The other ship is patiently, steadily approaching me, clearly not giving up or pretending to ignore me politely, following my every move and not letting up and not letting me get too far away from it... Oh No. I Am Being Hunted. Run Away!!!
Rocky POV: I am making no attempt to conceal myself or make myself sound like something I'm not, and I'm not trying to trick or lure the other ship into coming closer to me of its own volition, and I'm not constructing any kind of physical trap. I am approaching as obviously as I can, at a steady pace. I am being So Fucking Friendly :D
genuinely do not think we are prepared for known horndog eddie diaz when he gets access to that btw. he already loves buck’s specific brand of crazy whats he gonna do when he gets dick and hole access
genuinely i dont think eddie would give a fuck about a label on his sexuality when there are holes he needs to fill. in buck. with his co—
as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

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if you don't love me now you'll never love me again
eddie says “chain of command” like it’s a real, usable concept in a room that contains evan buckley, which is already his first mistake, and buck doesn’t even hesitate—just tips his chair back, all loose-limbed and insufferably pleased with himself, and goes, “that’s crazy, man" and that—that’s the problem, right there, because eddie could ignore it. he knows how this works. he has, at this point, a fully developed internal framework for Handling Buck When He’s Like This, which mostly consists of strategic non-engagement and not rewarding bad behavior. except buck is watching him now, not in the broad, performative way he does when he’s playing to an audience, but in that sharper, quieter way, like he’s waiting to see what eddie does with it, like the outcome actually matters. so, against his better judgment, eddie says, flat, “not that kind.”
and immediately regrets it. because buck goes still for half a second—just enough to clock the phrasing, turn it over, light up—and then he’s leaning forward, interest narrowing in. “oh, so there is a kind.”
eddie closes his eyes for a second, like he’s trying to reset the timeline. “it’s a figure of speech.”
“yeah,” buck says. “a weirdly specific one. like you didn’t have to pick chain. you could’ve said order. structure. hierarchy. but you went with chain. bold choice.”
“i didn’t—”
“no, no, it’s fine,” buck cuts in, already leaning into it. “i’m just trying to understand the parameters here. like is this a metaphorical chain of command or are we talking—”
“buck.”
“—because there are different systems, eddie, and i think clarity is important—”
there’s a pause, which is new. usually buck would keep going, immediately pile on, escalate until eddie either shuts it down or walks out. but instead he studies him for a second, like he’s recalibrating, like he’s deciding what version of this he wants to play.
“okay,” buck says finally, slower now. “so walk me through it. if there was a chain of command—purely theoretical—where would i fall.”
eddie stares at him. “there is no chain.”
“right, but if there was.”
“there isn’t.”
“eddie.”
it’s the tone that does it, not the words. that slight shift—less joke, more intent, like buck is asking something under the surface of what he’s actually saying, and eddie can feel it, annoyingly, like a hook under his ribs.
“you don’t fall anywhere,” eddie says. “we’re equals.”
“hm,” buck says, like he’s filing that away, like it’s data. “so no hierarchy.”
“no.”
“no one in charge.”
“no.”
“no one giving orders.”
eddie narrows his eyes. “correct.”
buck nods, thoughtful, and for a second eddie thinks—hopes—that’s the end of it.
it is not.
“so if i just decided to start, i don’t know, taking direction from you—”
“don’t.”
“—hypothetically—”
“buck.”
“—you’re saying that would be, what, inappropriate? unfounded? not supported by existing structure—”
“you’re not funny.”
buck’s mouth quirks. he leans in, elbow on the back of eddie’s chair, invading space in a way that is both deliberate and, somehow, completely unselfconscious. “that’s not what you said last time.”
eddie closes his eyes for a second, recalibrates. when he opens them again, buck is still there, still too close, still looking at him like this is a game he intends to win.
“you don’t take direction from me,” eddie says, steady.
buck tilts his head. “i don’t?”
“no.”
“huh.” a beat. “could’ve fooled me.”
and there’s something in the way he says it—not loud, not joking, not quite—that throws eddie off just enough to be dangerous, because it drags up a hundred small, inconvenient memories all at once: buck watching him on calls, adjusting without being asked; buck bristling when someone else tries to step in; buck, over and over again, choosing him, not because he has to but because—
“that’s different,” eddie says, sharper than he means to. it should be easy. that should be a throwaway line, something eddie can bat right back. you keep showing up, or someone has to keep you from doing something stupid, or anything, anything that puts it back where it belongs.
“so if i did start following your command—”
“buck.”
“—hypothetically—”
“buck.”
“—you think there’d be, like, a training period, or—”
“so no chain,” buck says again, quieter now.
“no chain.”
“no command.”
“no.”
“just—what. mutual agreement.”
eddie exhales. “something like that.”
buck considers him for a long second, something bright and complicated flickering across his face, like he’s trying to decide whether to leave it there or ruin it.
he ruins it.
“cool,” he says, easy again, grin snapping back into place like armor. “just wanted to make sure we weren’t accidentally getting into anything weird with chains.”
eddie stares at him. “you made it weird.”
“did i, or—”
“buck.”
“—did you start it—”
eddie grabs a nearby pen and throws it at him. buck catches it midair, still grinning, like this is exactly where he wanted them to end up.
and that’s the other problem, the one eddie doesn’t say out loud, the one he’s not going to touch—there's not a chain, but they're still bound into place.
decided to buy a 6 week pottery class enrollment to a place that's a couple of blocks away since to give me something to focus on that's not academic and just somewhere where I can clear my head and I'm very excited so get ready to see poorly built pottery pieces soon :)
Eddie putting Buck in his will in the context of Eddie begins makes me want to lie down on the floor. The flashbacks show us that Eddie has a real problem committing to things when someone else can hold him responsible for his faults. He can’t commit to being a husband, or a father, until he literally has no choice. Now, he’ll hold himself responsible until the sun goes supernova, obviously, but he can’t stomach the idea of sharing the burden (martyr complex hello) and possibly someone bearing witness to his fuck ups.
But the will. The will is committing to Buck. Specifically, it’s committing his failure as a father to Buck. Buck gets Chris if Eddie dies—never mind that they’re partners on the job, that if Eddie dies and Buck doesn’t, it’ll haunt him for the rest of his life—that’s Eddie’s failure to bear. And he’s letting Buck see it. Buck sees at as the ultimate gesture of trust that it is, but it’s not just Eddie making sure Chris will have the best care, it’s Eddie saying: you get to see the aftermath. I’ll let you be around when I fail. I’ll let you pick up the pieces.
And then Buck does, and Eddie doesn’t even have to die for it.
next time buck gets badly injured he can't take strong painkillers anymore so he's just grimly pushing through the pain, so eddie starts investigating alternative pain management (and maybe he gets really annoyed about all the woo woo wellness healing crap and bitches to karen about it, because I long to bring back her little gay devil on the shoulder energy a la the face she made before asking eddie if he'd told buck about the el paso job offer, so perhaps she's the one who casually mentions this study she happened to read....) and discovers orgasms can help. aah :) he thinks, what a nice way to help my best friend. (buck hurt his hands/arms, I guess. or actually no it's funnier if he didn't and eddie just goes to him anyway and proposes-) let me jerk you off for your health and wellbeing :)
and buck thinks to himself: if I say no to this platonic suggestion, eddie might think I have feelings for him.
gotta say yes to prove I'm not in love with eddie
Meanwhile Eddie is like it is only right that I suggest this, because I said it wasn’t weird and I can’t have Buck think I’m queerphobic. Any good friend would want their friend to feel better! That makes me feel better. That’s all, that’s the reason this feels so good, touching Buck like this! It’s because Buck’s relaxed and pain free! So what if I get to hold his dick to make that happen! That’s why I feel so relaxed and why my dick is getting hard: it’s just that I’ve made such a warm and comforting environment for Buck to relax in, that it’s rubbing off on me like I’m rubbing off on him
and of course this gives them ample opportunity for some dorky medical roleplay. eddie in his fancywaiter voice: 'mr buckley? the doctor will see you now.' proceeds to give buck a handy that is pretend-clinical for approx 0.5 seconds and then the rest of the time they're beathing heavily inches apart staring into each other's eyes until buck comes so hard he sees the face of god, and then afterwards eddie clears his throat and puts the fancy waiter voice back on and goes 'okay mr buckley, you'll need to uh, book a follow-up appointment with the receptionist'
wait wait, since whatever the latest accident was that hurt buck he hasn't been able to get it up. due to stress/pain/stress about pain etc. so eddie's Ultra Casually telling him about the study karen mentioned whilst buck gets grouchier and grouchier, until finally snapping that he KNOWS okay he KNOWS, but knowing doesn't make the magic happen. and eddie (his feelings hurt (a la the beagle betrayal)) is like oh.... you didn't tell me.... and buck mutters that he doesn't have to tell eddie anything (doesn't say that it's become treacherous to talk about his dick with eddie since maddie's it wouldn't be so crazy) and eddie Bigs His Eyes at buck and buck adds that it's his own fault anyway, if he hadn't been stupid with his pills... and eddie puts his hand in the shoulder place and says was bobby stupid? would bobby have deserved to be in pain? and buck Bigs His Eyes at eddie and says no of course not, so they're there with big eyes at each other, and it's such a dangerous combination that eddie (mouth dry, heart speeding up) says and anyway I can always lend a hand
eddie doing the dorky fancy waiter voice to put buck at ease!!! It all comes together!!! (And then. You know)
Oops I got emotions in my crack concept
this app is like a pacifier to me

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Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean
I’ve seen quite a few of these in my time, but this one takes the cake.
This is fucking killing me
Golp: a roundel purpure.
Repeat this to yourself until it begins to have meaning
Okay then since some of you need to be reminded of this:
Roundels are circles in heraldry. They are named according to their color, which also has its own lingo. Let’s meet them!
Bezant: roundel or (gold) 🟡
Plate: roundel argent (silver) ⚪️
Torteau: roundel gules (red) 🔴
Pomme: roundel vert (green) 🟢
Hurt: roundel azure (blue) 🔵
Golp: roundel purpure (purple) 🟣
Pellet: roundel sable (black) ⚫️
If your field is strewn with roundels, you can describe it appropriately as being bezanty, hurty, golpy, and so on.