i hope no-one minds if i live-tweet this bitch

this is my favorite comic ever i never don’t want to see it on my dash

you may spank it… once still remains the funniest image ever created on this bitch of an earth

*flirting with an older man* when i was born you had already attempted suicide once

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

HAPPY BIG TWENTY NEIL

we fucked up

weed got me moving like david byrne

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

Had a dream that Sabrina carpenter died and everyone was super sad about it but, unwilling to be upstaged, taylor swift flew her private jet directly into a block of apartments killing herself and hundreds of innocent people and everyone called it the gay 9/11