i dont give a fuck ill kinkshame myself

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

There's this video of nuns talking about their favourite things to do outside of nun activities and one of them says "ultimate frisbee" and the other one goes "and sister you are so good at that." I literally cannot get "and sister you are so good at that" out of my head. Out of all my stims this one is my fav lolol

Hallucinations Matzo.

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

Not proud of what I turn into when several mangos are put in front of me. The lack of self restraint is shameful. I would compare it to how fiction describes werewolves, or newly turned vampires. Everyone who has had a good mango understands, though.

last time I got a bunch of mangos I went into a sort of mango induced bacchanal madness, ended up eating the skin too because it was so thin, and the next day I ended up with my face swollen to hell because it turns out that mango skin has the same chemical as poison ivy, and eating that is bad. I did an interview on a reckless amount of antihistamines, got the job, and ate the last two mangos.

having to stop your conversation with a coworker when a customer walks in has the same vibe as two knights talking ildly on guard duty who have to quickly shut up and resume their positions as the king walks by. at least. i think so

"this is unbecoming of me" is genuinely a useful thing to have in your mental toolbox

what some people on tumblr fail to understand is that sometimes you gotta let yourself think with your pussy

like i know there are a lot of fics out there where other vulcans are all “oh man, jim kirk’s so freakin HOT how’d spock get in his pants” but IF ANYTHING it’s actually the reverse. spock shows up on vulcan one day with Jim on his arm and all the other vulcans are OUTRAGED. They’ve spent years mooning (logically) over spock’s flaxen bowl cut. his dark eyes. his slightly lax emotional control that gives him just a hint of the “bad boy” vibe that we all know vulcans secretly go wild for. Sarek receives like a thousand bonding proposals a year from VSA graduates who all have google alerts set to notify them when spock gets a new xeniobiology article published. and then they find out. that the object of their (totally logical) affections. had the equivalent of a las vegas wedding with the human captain of his starfleet ship while in the middle of a five year mission. vulcans may be too logical to riot but on that day, a good many vulcans had to meditate for an extra hour or two just to contain their rage

This is the sci fi equivalent to that post about Gimli son of Gloin, the Stud of Erebor

#spock voice ach nae i love him (via @spritespi)