so so salad

from bottom to top! get the surgery now! 

CMON SEWING CLASS LETS GET SICKENING

Fucking unbelievable.

omfg

slam me in that Showert Deluxe… get me an omniwash™

this is a carwash for people

I hear if you turn them all on at once you can use the water pressure to glitch past the boss room

You fucker

I can’t see him but I just feel his energy

I can feel the aura and I know exactly who it is you ass

This is 1000x more terrifying than any dream I will ever encounter.

This is why you have a natural primal instinct to get the shampoo out of your eyes quick.

I was at a party last night and this weird nerd guy was screaming and punching the wall whenever he missed at beer pong and I cornered him later and I was like “Hey, can I give you some constructive criticism?” And he was like “Uhh ok.” And I was like “People would like you a lot more if you weren’t going around screaming and punching walls like a fucking creep.” And he got really scared and asked “Are you going to kill me?” And I literally dont understand how he got that from what I said. I think I’m scarier than I realize.

you shoulda killed him just as a power move

the dude who invented the rule about holding hands during a seance after noticing he’s sitting next to the guy he likes: oh haven’t you heard?

i just realized this constitutes constructing intricate rituals to touch the skin of other men

every time supernatural references fortnite i think of that screencap with steve buscemi going ‘what’s up fellow kids’

Every time they do WHAT

Y'all ever text somebody and they so boring that you have no idea what to say back

im somebody