chloroflourocarbons

some of you need to realize that your faves would be having unsafe bdsm sex because they don’t actually know what bdsm sex is, they just want to fuck and also kill each other. you must understand this.

im not “jerking off in public” im clutching my cursed demon penis so it doesnt activate and kill you. the rubbing is incidental

"life is so hard for men because *starts describing the events of a mafia city ad*"

many lv1 crooks finding a way to get genuinely mad about this post

come get your man before he accepts my fertility rune

Me and my color coded friendgroup are gonna beat your ass

stands for compassion-focused therapy, apparently

my rooster doesn’t crow when the sun rises, he crows when he hears humans wake up, like you can literally just roll over in bed and he’s like “hoLY SHIT THAT’S A PEOPLE THE HUMAN ISAWAKE AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

the same rooster - god guys he’s so cute - he always lets hens eat treats first and won’t have any treats until they’ve had as much as they want, unless it’s a blueberry. shit, blueberries are like serious fucking business for Pharaoh. he’s a gentleman until the damn blueberries come out and then he don’t play no fuckin games