Slop Dog Enthusiast

joke i like to make when a baby is crying in public is “we’ve all been there.” We literally have

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless

Welp, I tried. Back to trying to hilt my one 17" pink tentacle toy, I guess

maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower

That is so incredibly gay. I hope all the flowers die at the same time

Ok this

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

*mumbling and grumbling* maybe i wanted to win stupid prizes *kicks dirt*

I ythink doctor egg man should buttfuck the master emerald. bye!

was recently in a cuck chair scenario where both the person giving and the person receiving was on their phone and I thought to make a pithy boomer post about it before realising that I was also on my phone

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat