💌🪽

I want tiramisu and to be able to start a brand new life

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

Richard Nixon once called in staff to help him open an allergy-pill bottle. It was the childproof type of bottle, with instructions saying “Press down while turning.” The cap had teeth marks on it where Nixon had apparently tried to gnaw it open

i can’t find the reblog chain that mentions it but it’s important to me that people know it was richard nixon himself that had signed the legislation requiring child safety lids on pill bottles

they're executing the count from sesame street for violating the masquerade

“Of course we’re in love, that’s why i tried to shoot you” “if you really loved me you wouldn’t have missed” is such a raw ass line you would think it comes from Goncharov (1973) and you would be right

Thinking of succumbing to something later

mulder is the kind of guy to say 'you know scully sometimes i feel like a woman' and scully would say 'well mulder sometimes i feel like a lesbian, it doesnt mean anything' and then they would both look at each other for a really long time