pool vampire at the boy mansion.

Fozzy getting hit on by lots of twinks

Happy Pride Month

Ten years later, this bit still slaps. They made a great pun and realized they could be nice/inclusive with it too.

I don't like to make too much of a business of joking about how the US military is bad at doing war because the inverse (a world where we're good at wars) would be an even worserer situation but like. Jiminy fucking Christ we're really really bad at wars it's downright remarkable

I'm really hung up on the oil thing. I love the part where we apparently have a critical interest in preserving the economy of the country we're trying to blow up because our economy will collapse if their economy collapses. I just. That's the worst anyone's ever done it, buddy. It's like the eternal war in 1984 but like the Jason Friedberg version of 1984. If the term total war describes the Clausewitzian mobilization of an entire country's political and economic apparatus towards war then the USA of America is in a permanent state of Quarter-Ass War. Like they're never gonna get there but they're gonna keep on trying anyways

it feels like their incompetence at war is directly linked to a desire to do war. It's trite to say but I think "They are so bad at war they want to wage it" works for the modern era. The more the bomber mentality took over in ww2 and afterwards, the worse America got at war and the more they wanted to do it. Being good at war would involve knowing how disastrous/expensive/long it would be to try it.

This, too, is yuri

Is there a reversed version of this I can use to tell my lesbian friends I think they’re a bad fit?

I had a dream about getting stuck in an elevator 4 times in a row and I work in a place with an elevator that I avoided until I realized that was stupid and took the damn thing and you'll never guess what happened when I reached my floor

we live a world where one man is a trillionaire while people are starving in gaza and sudan, 81 million people are below poverty line in india, kids are being forced to do manual labour in mines in congo to survive and his own countrymen are dying because they cannot afford healthcare and then people will wonder why we think capitalism is the root of all evil

Adding "you would be friends with Hitler if he liked vocaloid" to that same list as "y'all would fuck a fence if it was white"

steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower

There is,,, a lobster. On the way

There is a lobster somewhere in the facility but we don’t know where

This is not a joke btw I was supposed to receive and acclimate a lobster today but I waited around in the lobby for an hour before finding out that the Lobster Deliverer went around back and gave the lobster to the aquarist and he went out on a diving trip without telling anyone where he put the lobster. There is literally a lobster here somewhere and we can’t find it. Lobster location unknown.

Update he put it in one of the lobster traps tied to the pier. Which is fine, that’s where it was gonna go anyway until we set up its display, but I would’ve preferred to acclimate it before plopping it into the ocean. But the hooligan has been contained. There will be no surprise lobster attacks today.

Oh my god happy anniversary to that time we misplaced Neptune!!!!