"Very Serious" Plural Blog

"these researchers published a paper on something that literally any of us could have told you 🙄" ok well my supervisors wont let me write something in my thesis unless I can back it up with a citation so maybe it's a good thing that they're amplifying your voice to the scientific community in a way that prevents people from writing off your experiences as annecdotal evidence

they did the research in the first place because they believed you and wanted to tell people about it. they are not our enemies.

I love being multiple. It gave me the opportunity to really have to work with myself and everything about me. I cannot run away from being multiple and all that comes with it, I cannot run away from me and my past anymore. I need to get to know everyone and how we work together to heal. While I became multiple due to others wanting me to end up like that I never was afraid of the others no matter what I would woke up to. I love them because they're parts that should have integrated into a whole me, they aren't less valid just because they developed into distinct personality states. they are traumatized, I am traumatized. But being multiple is really not the issue behind DID, it's the post traumatic symptoms that makes life hard. We aren't scared of healing anymore because we know we won't loose us, even if we end up fully integrating everyone that's fine because we will just be one whole person with everyone's quirks combined and fully accessible at all times.

Memory loss doesn't look like what I thought it would. I spent several years convinced I could have a dissociative disorder primarily because I "didn't experience memory loss". I wasn't waking up in a strange place unaware of how I got there. I wasn't having people I'd never met come up to me and call me by a different name. I wasn't finding things I'd bought unintentionally or projects I'd done with no recollection of doing them. But I was, not remembering why I was upset in the middle of crying. Finding journal entries I didn't write. Suddenly not liking music I saved on a playlist named 'my favorite songs ever'. Randomly wanting to make drastic changes to my appearance and then forgetting why I wanted to look like that. Not knowing what day of the week it was, or how many days it had been since I did something (was that this morning or 3 days ago). Having friends tell me I was acting differently when I thought that was how I always acted.