the hero of this little tableau

80s misogyny saved the Star Wars galaxy because Darth Vader wasted all his time and effort trying to convince his starry-eyed gayboy empath son to become an evil space fascist when if anyone had any point asked his daughter “hey do you ever just want to KILL these people” she would’ve been shooing lightning out of her hands to prove a point in like 10 minutes

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

they're mine

ah I see. reclaiming the Self

they should invent a cigarette that gives you vitamins and hrt and shit

TESTOSTEROEN CIGARETTE BEING SMOKED BY A BUTCH DYKE OUTSIDE THE BAR SHE SHOTGUN THR SMOKE INTO MYMOUTH I GET SO HARD I PASS OUT SMASH MY HEAD AND DIE

sorry that was meant for the tags

it’s okay. You’ve painted a beautiful and true picture

One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.

It still blows my mind how anyone could think a social media that lets you edit other people’s posts, without any indication they have been edited, would be a good idea…

you’re right, they shoulda thought it was a GREAT idea

sorry im not done gatsbyposting. the nyc celebrations for its 100th anniversary are so uniquely deranged. like here you have a book that absolutely scathes new york parties & dress-up & entertainment & alcohol & careless wealthy east coast elites. and the way the city is celebrating the 100th anniversary of one of the most beautifully written & personally devastating literary tragedies this country has ever produced is by. offering 10% off gatsby-themed cocktails at luxury bars. hosting pay-to-attend 1920s themed costume balls in the wealthiest areas of midtown. setting up penthouse hotel suites to ostensibly resemble locations from the book. a few hours ago at an exclusive private event they had the cast of the glamorous broadway musical, all in designer clothes, light up the empire state building green to advertise their show where tickets cost up to $670. one of them said the green light ‘represents the beauty of the american dream.’ i think you could power all manhattan with energy generated from the rotational torque of f scott fitzgerald spinning wildly in his grave

anyhow i celebrated this international holiday by leaving work early & dressing up & driving north five and a half miserable hours to see the empire state lit up green because this was a true once in a lifetime event & this book changed my life & i wanted to celebrate a character i loved and mourned & see a glittering green light shining on the water & reach for it like dreamers do. but even though all the websites and blogs i could find told me it would be green on the 11th—that it would blaze green all night on the 11th, and i triple checked each one—by the time i got there at 8:15 pm they’d turned it off. and the parties had happened thursday night, not friday. so i ended up alone & exhausted & rain-drenched & freezing & quite frankly absolutely crying my eyes out on the shore across from the city, just fucking stupidly sobbing above the water, wishing i could go back just a little way into the past. and THATS how you do gatsby. ill kill you all

if you don’t reblog this post im gonna explode

ra ra rasputin is objectively the funniest song ever written it's like "rasputin was an advisor to the romanovs and honestly he was a bit of a power-hungry conman (oof)... but you're not here for a history lesson! you want to know how much he fucked, don't you? well i'll tell you: he fucked. he fucked often and severely."

and it's a banger

could you imagine if it happened this pride month