Lapis preferred to be on her own.

That's what she forced herself to believe after being forced into seclusion for thousands of years. With so little contact over that time, she hardly knew how to interact with others anymore, especially humans.

And yet, when she met you, that changed.

Sure, she had gotten close to Steven, Peridot, and Bismuth, but you were different. You were special. From the moment you two properly met, there was a pull towards you, and she found herself wanting to be around you more often.

And she loved that feeling: wanting to be near you.

But then she started developing a feeling she didn't like.

Whenever you were hanging out with anyone else for a little too long, whether it was Peridot, Steven, Bismuth, or someone else, she found a heaviness settling in her chest, accompanied by a spark of annoyance in her mind. It was an awful feeling, one she tried to ignore.

But no matter what she did to take her mind off of it, she felt some form of rage bubbling up beneath her skin at the sight of you focusing only on someone else — someone that wasn't her. Even without fully understanding why she felt the way she did, she could tell it wasn't a good thing for her to feel.

Why was she worried that you liked being around them more? You made it clear that she was the one you cared for the most. You promised her, and she trusted you, so why did she feel like something was going to go wrong?

Why did she feel like someone was going to take you away from her?

She'd already been alone for so long. Being friends with so many gems was already an adjustment she had made — honestly it was one she was still making — but being so close to you was something she wished she had experienced long before. When you finally got together, she had assumed the feeling would go away for good, but it never did. She still worried you were going to change your mind about her and see that someone else — anyone else — would be a better option for you.

She didn't want that.

Call her selfish, but she wanted you all to herself.

So when she saw you once again diverting all of your attention from her to focus on Peridot, she scoffed, the noise prompting both of you to stare at her. "You okay, Lazuli?" Peridot asked, her voice laced with pure concern. She had noticed the gem acting off for months at that point, but every time she tried to approach the subject and see what was wrong, Lapis shut her down and dismissed the entire conversation.

Whatever it was that was upsetting her was clearly a sensitive topic.

Just as she had done every time before, Lapis waved her hand and turned away, already trailing out of the greenhouse. "I'm fine. You two have fun." Neither you nor Peridot bought her words. With a frown, you gripped your forearm, eyes cast down at the floor beneath you as you tried to wrack your brain for anything you could've done to upset her.

Noticing your change in demeanor immediately, Peridot smiled softly and walked over to the door. "Hey, don't worry about anything. I'll go talk to her," she mumbled, leaving you alone in the greenhouse after you gave her a nod.

Outside, Lapis was already several paces away, and Peridot had to jog just to make it near her. When Lapis realized she was being followed, she quickened her steps. Peridot groaned out of frustration, tired of Lapis's sudden distance that had been building up for months, and held out her hand in the direction of a few pieces of scrap metal next to some of Bismuth's scaffolding.

With a quick wave, the metal flew in front of Lapis, effectively bringing her to a stop. "Lazuli, wait," Peridot hollered.

When she caught up to the taller gem, she huffed, letting the metal fall. "What's been upsetting you lately? I thought you were doing better!" The blue gem let out a feigned laugh and turned to face her, arms crossed almost defensively across her chest. "I was! And now the one person I've ever actually loved is starting to take interest in you and everyone else. It feels like I hardly get to spend time with my own girlfriend anymore!"

A blink greeted her in reply, and Peridot murmured your name, as if to confirm that's who Lapis was referring to. "Of course," the blue gem snapped. "Who else?"

"Are you crazy? You're the only one she's interested in. Why would you think otherwise?"

"Because," Lapis sucked in a breath, suddenly realizing what the feeling was. Her mind raced as she thought back to all of the drama on Camp Pining Hearts, her face burning upon finally understanding why her actions and words felt so familiar.

Jealousy.

That's what had been sinking in her chest any time you were spending time with someone else.

Just like one of the main characters had done in the show, she was growing agitated simply because her lover was spending time with someone else, despite the fact their relationship was already established and strong.

She used to mock the actions of that character. With all of the context, it seemed ridiculous for the character to be afraid of losing the one person who had only ever had eyes for them.

Was that what everyone had been thinking when they noticed how off Lapis had been?

Did they think her jealousy was unwarranted too?

She could only stare at nothing for a long stretch, only snapping out of it when Peridot cleared her throat and spoke. "Because what?"

"Oh, stars," Lapis mumbled. "Oh my stars, I'm just in my head about all of this. I'm making a problem out of nothing."

"Huh?" Peridot tilted her head, completely excluded from Lapis's thought process — lost. "What're you talking about? What problem? What are you in your head about? What is going on?" For the first time in a while, Lapis started to laugh, catching the smaller gem completely off guard. "Oh, wow," the blue gem bellowed between chuckles. "I'm no better than a character in a soap opera."

"You've completely lost me."

Lapis sighed and ran a hand down her face before shaking her head. "Don't worry about it. I'll be right back." And once again, she was walking away from Peridot, though it didn't feel as worrying this time.

Soon after, she found herself standing in the open doorway of the barn, fingers toying with the hem of her waistband as she forced her feet to carry her forward. With a few paces, she wound up standing beside the sofa you were seated on. "Hey," she blurted. You turned to look up at her. "Hey," you offered quietly. "Mind if I sit here?" You nodded and shifted over far enough to give her room, the sight bringing a small smile to her face.

"I, uh," the confidence she had been building on the way to the barn seemed to dissipate as soon as she sat down. Her eyes drifted away from you and landed on the floorboards below. "I just wanted to apologize for… well, the past few months, really." You tilted your head, but didn't speak, wanting to understand what she meant.

"I know I've been acting kind of weird. I hope I didn't upset you too much."

"I mean, I've been worried," you murmured a second later. "But it was more-so because I have no idea if I did something to upset you or not."

She tensed and waved her hands dismissively. "Oh, no, not at all! It was just… my mind getting too loud again. All me, I swear." A bit of relief flooded through your limbs, allowing you to breathe for just a moment before another question formed and rolled off your tongue. "What was going on?"

Her face darkened with a deep shade of blue, accenting the golden freckles decorating her face. Once again, her head dipped down and her eyes lowered to the ground. "I, um," she stammered out. God, she really was just as bad as those characters.

"I guess I just got a little jealous." Her voice was so soft that you nearly didn't catch what she said. Everything from the previous few months finally clicked into place, however, and your brows lifted. "Oh."

A pause.

"Why?"

She sighed, closing her eyes. "Well, you've just been spending so much time with the others, especially Peridot, and my mind just started playing tricks on me, I guess. I mean, I know you wouldn't ever hurt me like that, but it's kind of hard to ignore those thoughts sometimes, y'know?"

You nodded. "Well, if you want, we could start spending more time together again. I know it's been a while since we've even just spent the day together since Little Homeworld is so close to being completed. Maybe we could take more breaks and go on those little dates we used to." Her head finally lifted, eyes locking onto yours immediately. "Are you sure? I figured you'd want to finish Little Homeworld first."

"I thought you'd be the same way," you chuckled. "That's why I never thought to bring it up. I'd love to spend more time with you again though. We'll just have to tell Peridot and Bismuth beforehand, otherwise they're going to interrupt an ungodly amount of times." A laugh finally spilled past her lips as she gave you a nod.

"Yeah, that's true." She hummed. "Would you maybe wanna go on one of those dates right now? I kind of need to get away from Peridot until my embarrassment dies down." It was your turn to nod, and you followed it up by standing and holding out your hand for her to take. "Yeah, absolutely. But let's at least go find Bismuth first and let her know we'll be gone for a bit."

She let you pull her to her feet. "Sounds good to me."

Pearl thought she had worked through these issues by now. Her jealousy over Greg had long been settled, and with the good terms they had found themselves on, she figured she'd never have to worry about those awful thoughts and feelings again.

Of course, she should've known better.

There were thousands and thousands of years of jealousy. It hadn't just been Greg she'd been jealous of. It had been every gem or human who got even a little too close to Rose. The feeling came back to haunt her again and again, even though she'd never admit it. Rose had been gone for over eighteen years now, survived by the one and only Steven Universe — savior of the galaxy — and although she knew she'd never fully get over the loss of the gem she had cherished and loved since she became hers, she had come to terms with how she felt.

The loss was devastating, even after all of these years, and there were still plenty of days where she wanted nothing more than to go back in time just to see Rose again.

And it was okay.

It was okay to feel rage, and sorrow, and confusion.

It was okay to still mourn her.

It was okay to not fully understand why Rose made the decisions she did.

Regardless of how her mind tried to convince her otherwise, it was okay.

But the one feeling she didn't want to experience again was jealousy. After losing Rose and raising Steven, she figured she wouldn't have to ever again.

But then she met you, and by the stars, she fell for you. Hard.

Nearly every second, minute, hour that she had free, she spent with you. It was rare to see the two of you separate most days, and even on the occasional occurrence where you weren't side by side, she was still in contact with you over the phone — a human invention she was grateful for more and more every single day.

She absolutely loved everything about you. At first, she worried that she was trying to see Rose through you, but it didn't take long for her to realize that she saw you for who you were, and that was the most beautiful thing of all. Every hobby, interest, smile, joke, laugh, and conversation that you shared with her bubbled up into a cherished memory that she replayed through her holograms at the end of every day.

Everything had been going perfectly. That's what she told herself. You were together. She was happy with you, and you were happy with her. There was nothing to worry about.

So then why did that nagging, grating, all-too-familiar ache make itself known in her chest every time you were around Amethyst?

Surely she wasn't jealous over her.

She trusted Amethyst — she'd known her for so long. There was no reason for her to think that Amethyst would break that trust and jeopardize a relationship that clearly meant the world to her. Sure, Amethyst was known for her joking, teasing, and occasional pettiness, but interfering with someone else's relationship wasn't something she'd do.

Pearl knew that.

She knew that.

That's why she didn't understand why there was a pit forming in her stomach as she once again watched you and Amethyst from afar.

It had become a routine thing, even without her fully realizing it, to watch the two of you mingle. You were just good friends. There was no reason to get upset.

But it killed her to watch Amethyst make you smile and laugh so effortlessly. It was like you'd known her far longer. It was like you were more comfortable with her.

Was she not enough for you? Was there something she could do to get your attention back on her, and only her? She didn't know, but she was fighting against her urges to storm over and pull you away. Her fingers twitched on the banister of the steps leading up to the house, tempted to turn and grasp at the wooden beam until it cracked from her inhuman strength.

The sight of Amethyst taking your hand — even though it was only for a few seconds, likely for another one of her jokes — sent her skin ablaze. There was an anger festering beneath, one she repeatedly tried to snuff out, and she found herself shuffling closer to the steps, almost as if she would bolt down them at any given moment.

Had Ruby and Sapphire not been down at Little Homeworld for their self-taught classes, Pearl was sure they'd both be there by her side, offering a few words of warning or trying to convince her to take a breath.

If Steven had been there, he'd be talking to her about why she felt so disgusted at the sight of you spending time with someone else, despite the fact that you had every right to do so. He'd encourage her to go down and join the two of you, or talk to you at the very least about what had been bothering her for months.

And yet, despite knowing what the three of them would say, and despite knowing that she only needed to trust you, that envy hardly faltered.

And when you playfully bumped Amethyst before doubling over with a roar of laughter, it seared worse than before.

Why couldn't you be that way around her?

Her legs carried her down the steps before she even realized it. By the time she paid attention to what she was doing, she was already half a step behind you, hand outstretched to grab hold of your arm. Feeling slender fingers snare themselves around your wrist pulled your focus away from the conversation, and you turned to find Pearl standing there, an unreadable expression riddled over her face as she stared at you.

"Pearl?" You asked with a small quiver in your voice, unsure of why she had come over in such a hurry. "Is everything okay?" Her jaw clenched and she blinked, glancing at where her hand was linked to your arm and immediately pulling away as if she had just fully processed where she was. Her eyes darted over to Amethyst, who was just as bewildered and concerned as you were.

"Ah-" In a motion too quick to properly see, her palm lifted to shield her mouth. Just as quickly, her hand rolled into a fist and turned, a noticeable tension in her knuckles as she cleared her throat. "Yes, sorry. I hadn't realized— I didn't mean to grab a hold of you. I just," she paused, sucking in an unsteady breath.

"Could I speak with you privately for a moment?" With your mind still reeling to try and make sense of her sudden behavior, you eyed Amethyst, who gave you a shrug and a nod. "Yeah, sure," you finally replied, following her to stand a decent distance away. When she was sure the two of you couldn't be heard, she let out a heavy breath.

It took everything in her to not blurt out that she simply wanted you to spend time with her and only her. That would only leave a negative thread in how you viewed her, and that was the last thing she wanted. A moment passed where she closed her eyes and tried to phrase her thoughts correctly.

"I sincerely hope this doesn't come across the wrong way," she started, opening her eyes but only barely managing to look at you. "But if I'm being completely honest, I've been feeling rather… neglected in our relationship. I understand this most certainly isn't the best time or place to bring this up, but it's been eating away at my mind for several months at this point, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us if I didn't voice it to you.

"As petty as it may sound, it feels like you've been spending far more time with Amethyst than you have with me. I understand that I have no right to keep you from spending time with others — I mean, humans are social beings, after all, it's part of your nature — and I trust that you wouldn't jeopardize what we have, but I'd really, really appreciate it if you'd spend more time with me."

You blinked at her, unable to find the words to say as you tried to process what all she had said.

Was she…?

Oh.

Oh, she was jealous.

Oh, wow, okay. That certainly wasn't what you were expecting.

"Yeah," you finally blurted after a moment. "Yeah, we can spend more time together. Sorry, by the way. I didn't know I was spending so much time with Amethyst." Her eyes instantly lit up at your words. Would you have said the same thing if she talked to you about it sooner? That would've been so much easier.

"It's quite alright. It's not necessarily that I mind you spending time with her, I just wish you and I could spend more time together as well, especially now that there isn't much that I have to do. I've been missing you, if I'm being honest, which is odd since you're here most of the time." You nearly winced at her words. Had you really been neglecting her that much?

That had to change.

"Well, why don't we plan a little date for tonight? Just you and I," you suggested, linking your hands together behind your back. Her lips stretched into a wide grin at the idea and she nodded, clapping her own hands together in front of her. "Perfect! Oh, I already have so many ideas," she replied with riveting enthusiasm.

"Could I steal you away from Amethyst for a bit to start the planning?"

"No need, dude," came an amused voice, one that made the two of you jump and twirl around to the source. Amethyst smirked with her arms crossed as she glanced between the two of you. "Amethyst," Pearl yelped, "how long have you been listening?" The shorter gem shrugged.

"Long enough to know how down bad you are for her," she teased while jabbing her thumb in your direction. "Down bad?" Pearl echoed, and while Amethyst snickered at her lack of understanding for modern lingo, you brushed it off and sighed.

"I'll explain it to you later," you assured her, earning a nod and another small smile.

“Two years, three months and… a week? Is that right?” he mutters to himself. “I believe so. That’s not exactly long in the grand scheme of things. But is it long enough?” As usual, he crouches with his bare feet on the seat, thumbing his lower lip with one hand while the other rests on his knee.

You’re used to the way L talks to himself when he’s working through something, so you don’t comment on his little monologue.

“Did you decide what to order yet?” you ask, slotting a postcard from Tokyo between the pages of your book to hold your place.

“Chocolate cream pie.” L’s eyes dart down to the makeshift bookmark. “Ah, you kept it?”

“Of course. I never throw out any of the postcards you send me from your trips.”

The barest hint of a smile curves his lips as his gaze lifts back to you, wordlessly letting you know that your gesture means a lot to him. Over the years, you and L have grown close; comfortable in each other's company, often seeking each other out simply to be near to one another. He’s the type of friend you can spend hours just sitting beside, watching raindrops slide down the windows, neither of you speaking, the silence between you as comforting as conversation.

L eases your anxieties and you– at least you hope– ease his. Though earning that trust and camaraderie has been a slow process; one which has taken two years… three months and… a week.

“That's how long it's been since we met, isn't it?” You ask, picking up your water to take a sip. “That's what you're thinking about.”

“Yes.” He picks up the sugar shaker and pours about a fifth of its contents into his teacup. “You should know, I'm debating whether to ask you if you would be willing to have sex with me.”

He doesn't even flinch when you splutter into your glass. Surely you heard wrong. “Huh?”

“It's something I'm considering,” he says, stirring the sugar into his tea, pincering the teaspoon with his thumb and forefinger and watching it intensely as he speaks. In all the years you've known him, you've never seen him grasp anything with his whole hand. “I've felt the urge and lately it's become quite persistent. And if I were to explore that avenue I would want it to be with someone I trust. That really only leaves Watari, which is out of the question, a handful of colleagues, which is… a little better but hm… no. Or you. And I'll admit, I have a significant desire for it to be you.”

The world stops spinning for a moment, your racing heart drowns out your thoughts. “Huh?”

“Don't worry. I haven't decided if I'll ask you yet.”

“Uh huh.”

He looks up with genuine concern in his eyes. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No! No… it's just… I didn't expect it.”

“Well that makes two of us,” he says, sipping the tea with an audible slurp. “A lot happened in Tokyo, as you’re aware. It gave me a lot to consider, and… if I’m honest, brought home the fleeting nature of life.” He takes another sip and then stares directly into your eyes. “I think I will ask you.”

“...okay…”

“Will you have sex with me?”

“Yes.” Your face heats as his dark eyes continue watching you, his expression completely neutral. You have to admit, in the two years, three months, and a week since you met him you've wondered about it, but it wasn't until he asked that you realized just how badly you want him. “Yes I will.”

“Thank you.” He lowers his gaze to the menu in front of him, worrying his lips with the tip of his thumb. “Maybe I want strawberry shortcake instead of chocolate cream. Hm… that’s a conundrum.”

“You could get both?” you suggest with a playful smile, trying to relieve a little of the tension you’re feeling. “You successfully cracked the Kira case, and got home safely. We should celebrate.”

His wide eyes dart to you for a moment, shock registering over his face as he considers it. “Yes, you’re right. Both. One for now and one for after we're done. That sounds like it could be nice.”

“You want to.. um…do it tonight?”

“Yes. I was thinking we could after we're finished here. Is that alright?”

You nod, still a little thrown off kilter by this sudden turn of events. But is it really all that sudden? You’ve felt something more than friendship toward L for a while now, and he’s comfortable around you, he likes to spend time with you; you’re soothing to him in a way, just as he is to you.

And, to be frank, L’s handsome. And completely unaware of it which only makes him hotter.

However, you can’t help but question whether it will change things between you. Will your friendship suffer for the sake of one night?

“I promise I won’t be weird about it,” L says, his gaze fixed on you once more. He always has had a way of figuring out exactly what you’re thinking, almost as if he can read your mind. But no, he’s just that smart and that good at reading people. “We can go right back to being friends afterward if we wish. Communication is key. And of course, if you’re in any way uncomfortable or hesitant–”

“I’m not. I want this.” Your sudden admission makes his eyes widen and your heart skip. Yes, you want it. You want him. Bad.

***

It’s a little after eight when L’s car drops you both off at a hotel.

“I figured a neutral place would work best for us,” he explains as you step into the elevator beside him and the porter presses the button for the top floor suite. “That way either of us can simply leave if…” he trails off, staring straight ahead for a moment before his gaze turns back to you. “I’m sure we’ll have… It’ll be… hm… is fun the right word? It sounds wrong.”

The air between you grows heavy as you stand side-by-side, the porter’s presence holding you back from saying everything you want to. An overwhelming need to reassure L, to make sure he knows that you want him to feel good in every conceivable way, from physical pleasure to comfort and safety, fills you, but the words sit behind a dam at the back of your throat.

When you glance over at L, he’s watching you, his wide eyes studying your facial expressions. And then he side-steps closer to you, the back of his hand nudging yours; such a simple and casual gesture that lets you know he’s there.

“Fun, yeah,” you say.

“Okay, so if you start laughing it means I’m doing well. Understood.”

He delivers the line so flatly it makes you splutter, drawing the attention of the porter. And just like that he sets you at ease; L, your strange, brilliant, enigmatic friend.

Your friend who takes you to the penthouse suite with every intention of fucking you but who first gives you a tour, opening the fully stocked refrigerator and telling you to help yourself.

“I asked them to provide refreshments. Sex burns calories and it seemed polite to make sure your energy reserves were replenished,” he says, pushing aside a plate of chocolate eclairs to place his strawberry shortcake from the diner into the fridge. He then takes you to the bathroom, instructs you on how to turn on the shower and adjust the heat. Then demonstrates the functions of the TVs remote control and the numbers to dial for room service as displayed on the phone by the bedside. And then–

"L… are you nervous?”

“Ah, is it obvious?”

“A little. But it's okay,” you say, gently taking his hand in yours. “I kinda am too.”

“I’m… struggling with the issue of initiation,” he says flatly, glancing down at your joined hands. “If you wouldn’t mind… taking the lead.”

“Okay,” you say, stepping toward him. “How about we start with kissing?”

“Kissing? Yes. We’ll try that.”

Your heart thrums as you lean in and L mirrors your movement, the space between you shrinking by tentative inches. L’s eyes remain wide open as you close the gap and allow your lips to touch his, an almost painful dart of excitement shooting through you at the sensation.

He inhales sharply, draws back, and then leans in once again.

His lips are stiff at first, but warm, and still taste faintly of chocolate cake. The first few moments consist of you kissing L, and him standing frozen like a deer in the headlights. Fearing he’s not into it you pull back, only for him to close the gap again instantly, this time his lips seeking yours. Only the very tips of his fingers rest on your shoulders, as though he isn’t quite sure what to do with his hands. His kiss is soft and shallow; little butterfly kisses which cause a giddy, tingling sensation to bubble in your chest.

His tongue shyly flicks against your lower lip, seeking affirmation and permission. And you grant it, winding your arms around his waist and pulling him closer, rewarded for your boldness with another low, approving groan.

His fingers cautiously slide up to your neck before coming to rest on your jaw. A quiet rumble of pleasure emerges from his throat as his confidence grows and his kiss deepens, and before long, L is kissing you like your lips contain the answers to every one of the world’s mysteries. Those little sounds of pleasure hum against your lips. And when you open your eyes to check whether his are still wide, you find he's closed them, his dark eyelashes resting on his cheeks, his expression serene and lost in the sensation of your kiss.

“Hm…” he mutters as you break apart for air. “I’m enjoying this more than I thought I would.”

“Good, me too.”

“I’m aware how clinical this sounds but I have researched different ways to approach this, and the universal consensus from both reputable and anecdotal sources is that we will both enjoy it much more if… you are… aroused.” He looks up and away for a moment, tracing the lower ridge of his lip with his thumb as if trying to recall something. “If you’re…wet.”

“Oh, well, yeah–”

L draws closer, his breath warm as he whispers by your ear, “I want to get you wet.”

The air catches in your lungs, a preemptive pulse of pleasure throbbing between your thighs as his lips begin to explore the sensitive skin of your neck. L has always had a way of putting things plainly.

“I’ve read that neck kisses help,” he mutters, his words muffled against your skin. “As well as stimulating your breasts and your clitoris with my fingers… and my tongue. The thought of that appeals to me. I would like to try it.”

“Hah… of course. You’re already doing… doing a good job…” you breathe out as he continues to kiss your throat, his unruly black hair tickling your jaw and shoulder, his fingers ever-so-gently mapping the curve of your cheeks.

After a moment he pulls back, studying your face before his gaze drops to your lips. “Really? Interesting. I’d thought it would be harder; pun not intended but it deserves to be recognized nevertheless. I do have an erection simply from kissing you. But while our genitals seem to already reached near optimal physical states for sex to occur, I would still like to continue, as planned, with exploration and cunnilingus if you’re happy to proceed–” His words are cut off as you return his gesture, kissing the firm column of his neck, your tongue sliding up the deep groove of muscle traversing its length. “Oh! Oh…”

“That good?”

He nods. “Extremely so-hoh.”

He’s so responsive to your touch, his breath catching in his throat, his fingers trembling against your upper arms. You very quickly become proficient at pulling gasps and breathy moans from him, every inch of him so incredibly sensitive. A choked groan emerges from him as your hands wander down to the hem of his shirt, your fingers caressing the warm, supple skin of his abdomen and the coarse trail of hair leading down to his waistband.

You break away from kissing his neck long enough to pull his shirt up over his head, your hands coming to rest in the subtle curve of his waist. He follows your lead, tugging at your top, breath heavy, hands clumsy and eager. The moment your skin is exposed he tilts his hips toward you, back arching so he can press his body to yours. Hungry for the comfort of your touch, your skin against his, your warmth, your softness. He soaks it in, his lips finding yours once more.

When he slips down his jeans without pulling away from your lips, his cock prods at you through his boxers, just as eager as the rest of him, and unmistakably large.

And he's so hungry for you, so keen to experience it all. The moment you unclasp your bra and toss it aside, his mouth is on your breasts, deep groans telegraphing his pleasure. He kisses them so softly, so carefully you find yourself arching up against his mouth, silently demanding more. Maddeningly gentle. Deliciously sweet.

Together, you shed off the rest of your clothes and stumble toward the bed. Sitting on the edge of the mattress while he bends down with you, unwilling to take his mouth off you for even a second. Your hands trace the lean shape of his body, his pale skin pebbling at your touch.

His kisses trail down your chest, your belly, your hips, his lips leaving tingles of pleasure in their wake. Slender fingers part your thighs as he crouches between them, his breath warm against your pussy. A quiet hum of contemplation rolls from his throat and he touches his fingertip to your clit. Those wide eyes gaze at you, somehow filled with both knowledge and innocence, and an unspoken question you hear loud and clear…

Is this right?

“Yes…” it’s all you can choke out before he sticks out his tongue and licks.

The sudden shock of pleasure pulls a gasp from you. His tongue is slippery, soft, warm, and hesitant at first until he gets the taste for you and a switch flips. If some part of you had worried that he wouldn't like the taste, you're dead wrong. L devours you, his tongue slipping between your pussy lips, dragging along your slit, circling and lapping at your clit. His groans reverberate through you, his face buried eagerly between your thighs, hands greedily keeping them apart, feathery black hair tickling your skin.

Perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise he’s good with his mouth– you've watched him tie cherry stalks with his tongue after all– but the fervent hunger, his insatiable desire to taste you, that you didn't expect.

And apparently, neither did he. He pulls back briefly, his ashen cheeks for once a little pinker, his eyelids heavy and unable to tear their gaze from your pussy.

“This… might actually be better than cake.”

You laugh, despite your frustration at the loss of his touch. “Don't stop…”

“Oh! Right…” he leans in, placing a slow, open mouthed kiss on your clit, his tongue so soft and gentle you find yourself arching your back, rocking your hips against his mouth, desperate for more pressure.

Dark eyes flick up to you, and you can tell he's pleased, he enjoys your reactions. Just as he enjoys it when you run your hands through his hair, stopping at the back of his head, gently holding him against you. He reads your body language perfectly, picking up the pace, increasing the pressure, licking you with renewed fervor, driving you closer… closer…

“Mmhhh… hmmm…” he murmurs, fingers digging slightly deeper into the plush of your thighs when they start to tremble. Every breath huffs from his nose as he refuses to let up, his lips forming a tight seal around your clit as he licks and licks. The wet, sucking sound of his mouth against your tender flesh makes it all the better; so lewd, so utterly primal.

And when you cum, his eyes shoot back up to you, his expression a mix of shock and wonder at the sensation of your pussy pulsing beneath his lips. He doesn’t let up until you tell him to, and even then he’s slow to do so, sighing softly as he tenderly and affectionately kisses your throbbing clit.

When he rocks back on his heels, still crouched, he’s hazy-eyed, flushed, breathless. A creamy bead of pre-cum trickles from the tip of his cock as he licks his lips. “I enjoyed that far more than I expected I would. If you asked me to do it again, I doubt I’d hesitate.”

You nod, heat tingling beneath the surface of your skin. “You’re good at it.”

“Ah! Good.” He glances down at his weeping cock. “Are you still happy to continue?”

“God, yes.”

“Oh, we’re at the petnames stage already? I’m flattered.” He pauses, staring directly into your eyes. “That was an attempt at a joke, I believe I’m deflecting a little, trying to mask my nerves with humor.”

Oh L… you can’t help but feel so hopelessly endeared to him. This sweet, strange, wonderful man who just ate your pussy like it was his first meal in years, and yet still feels nervous when really you’re already completely satisfied.

“How about if I take the lead? You can just lie back and… feel…” you offer.

He contemplates it for a moment, tapping his thumb against his cupid’s bow. “Yes. I think I would like that. And you can have extra cake later for doing all the hard work. That was another attempt at humor.”

“Cake and sex? Win win.” You pat the bed beside you. “Come on, we’ll take it nice and easy. I’ll stop when you say when.”

“I’m very glad I asked you to share this with me,” he says as he climbs onto the bed and lies back, one hand resting on his stomach, the other still worrying his lips. “I feel… safe. Comfortable. There’s a sense of belonging here with you which makes this all far more pleasant and… a little less terrifying.”

“There’s no need to be scared,” you say softly, kissing the fingers resting on his lips as you straddle him.

“Rest assured I do feel safe with you. But… I do feel a little exposed laid out flat like this. It isn’t a natural position for me to be in. Would you mind if I…” He experimentally bends his legs, raising his knees so his thighs are flush with your ass. “Is this okay?”

It means you have to keep your weight forward, your hands braced on the pillow either side of his head and your chest flush with his. But it also means your faces are close; close enough to kiss, close enough that you can take his hand in yours, interlocking your fingers together on the pillow. “It’s more than okay.”

“This. This is nice,” he whispers,” the tip of his nose grazing against yours. “I feel good. Safe. Thank you.”

You treat him so tenderly he shivers as you kiss his lips, his jaw, then down his neck to his chest. His breath catches as your lips graze his nipple, and his hips jut upward against you. The moment the head of his cock nudges your pussy his eyes widen and his lips part.

“Certainly… very wet. And warm.” His other hand darts down to hold your hip, subtly urging you downward.

The tip of his cock feels almost impossibly fat against your entrance. You kiss your way back up his throat to look him in the eyes. “Yes?”

“Yes!” He quivers, nodding to reaffirm his consent, eyes wide, lips open around his heavy breaths. “Continue. I want to… feel… oh…” He freezes the moment you lower yourself onto him and feels your wet heat consume him. “Oh… you are… extremely warm. Soft. Hoh… wet…”

You kiss him softly, smiling that his usual eloquence has been reduced to a quiet stream of grunts and adjectives. His grip on your hand tightens the moment you rock your hips.

“Ah! It’s… it’s good…” he murmurs, his lips once again seeking yours, though even their deftness is lacking. His kiss is soft and uncoordinated, his moans muffled against your lips, his breaths catching in his throat before he can properly exhale.

And he feels good for you too. Not just the intoxicating stretch, or the way the pair of you slowly grind your hips together, faces so close you’re sharing the same air. For those few minutes there was never any Kira case, never any fear he would become nothing more than a name on a neverending list of victims. He isn’t even just a beloved friend you’re doing this with once so he can know what it feels like. He’s simply L… your L… and you’re together, right where you belong.

His eyes close and he inhales sharply, his cock throbbing inside you as he lifts his head and buries it in the crook of your neck, curling up as much as he can with your weight on top of him.

“Gya… shhh… ah! Ah!” He groans and hisses against your shoulder, his orgasm causing him to tremble. “D-don’t…” he gasps. “Don’t stop. Not yet. Stay with me. Please.”

“Okay,” you assure him, kissing him softly once more. “I’ll stay.”

And you do. You stay with him in bed for hours, kissing, experimenting, hiding from the world together. You stay with him and eat cake after that. And you stay with him in the hotel bed watching raindrops slide down the windowpane while he curls up in your arms and reiterates the simple truth…