Lapis preferred to be on her own.

That's what she forced herself to believe after being forced into seclusion for thousands of years. With so little contact over that time, she hardly knew how to interact with others anymore, especially humans.

And yet, when she met you, that changed.

Sure, she had gotten close to Steven, Peridot, and Bismuth, but you were different. You were special. From the moment you two properly met, there was a pull towards you, and she found herself wanting to be around you more often.

And she loved that feeling: wanting to be near you.

But then she started developing a feeling she didn't like.

Whenever you were hanging out with anyone else for a little too long, whether it was Peridot, Steven, Bismuth, or someone else, she found a heaviness settling in her chest, accompanied by a spark of annoyance in her mind. It was an awful feeling, one she tried to ignore.

But no matter what she did to take her mind off of it, she felt some form of rage bubbling up beneath her skin at the sight of you focusing only on someone else — someone that wasn't her. Even without fully understanding why she felt the way she did, she could tell it wasn't a good thing for her to feel.

Why was she worried that you liked being around them more? You made it clear that she was the one you cared for the most. You promised her, and she trusted you, so why did she feel like something was going to go wrong?

Why did she feel like someone was going to take you away from her?

She'd already been alone for so long. Being friends with so many gems was already an adjustment she had made — honestly it was one she was still making — but being so close to you was something she wished she had experienced long before. When you finally got together, she had assumed the feeling would go away for good, but it never did. She still worried you were going to change your mind about her and see that someone else — anyone else — would be a better option for you.

She didn't want that.

Call her selfish, but she wanted you all to herself.

So when she saw you once again diverting all of your attention from her to focus on Peridot, she scoffed, the noise prompting both of you to stare at her. "You okay, Lazuli?" Peridot asked, her voice laced with pure concern. She had noticed the gem acting off for months at that point, but every time she tried to approach the subject and see what was wrong, Lapis shut her down and dismissed the entire conversation.

Whatever it was that was upsetting her was clearly a sensitive topic.

Just as she had done every time before, Lapis waved her hand and turned away, already trailing out of the greenhouse. "I'm fine. You two have fun." Neither you nor Peridot bought her words. With a frown, you gripped your forearm, eyes cast down at the floor beneath you as you tried to wrack your brain for anything you could've done to upset her.

Noticing your change in demeanor immediately, Peridot smiled softly and walked over to the door. "Hey, don't worry about anything. I'll go talk to her," she mumbled, leaving you alone in the greenhouse after you gave her a nod.

Outside, Lapis was already several paces away, and Peridot had to jog just to make it near her. When Lapis realized she was being followed, she quickened her steps. Peridot groaned out of frustration, tired of Lapis's sudden distance that had been building up for months, and held out her hand in the direction of a few pieces of scrap metal next to some of Bismuth's scaffolding.

With a quick wave, the metal flew in front of Lapis, effectively bringing her to a stop. "Lazuli, wait," Peridot hollered.

When she caught up to the taller gem, she huffed, letting the metal fall. "What's been upsetting you lately? I thought you were doing better!" The blue gem let out a feigned laugh and turned to face her, arms crossed almost defensively across her chest. "I was! And now the one person I've ever actually loved is starting to take interest in you and everyone else. It feels like I hardly get to spend time with my own girlfriend anymore!"

A blink greeted her in reply, and Peridot murmured your name, as if to confirm that's who Lapis was referring to. "Of course," the blue gem snapped. "Who else?"

"Are you crazy? You're the only one she's interested in. Why would you think otherwise?"

"Because," Lapis sucked in a breath, suddenly realizing what the feeling was. Her mind raced as she thought back to all of the drama on Camp Pining Hearts, her face burning upon finally understanding why her actions and words felt so familiar.

Jealousy.

That's what had been sinking in her chest any time you were spending time with someone else.

Just like one of the main characters had done in the show, she was growing agitated simply because her lover was spending time with someone else, despite the fact their relationship was already established and strong.

She used to mock the actions of that character. With all of the context, it seemed ridiculous for the character to be afraid of losing the one person who had only ever had eyes for them.

Was that what everyone had been thinking when they noticed how off Lapis had been?

Did they think her jealousy was unwarranted too?

She could only stare at nothing for a long stretch, only snapping out of it when Peridot cleared her throat and spoke. "Because what?"

"Oh, stars," Lapis mumbled. "Oh my stars, I'm just in my head about all of this. I'm making a problem out of nothing."

"Huh?" Peridot tilted her head, completely excluded from Lapis's thought process — lost. "What're you talking about? What problem? What are you in your head about? What is going on?" For the first time in a while, Lapis started to laugh, catching the smaller gem completely off guard. "Oh, wow," the blue gem bellowed between chuckles. "I'm no better than a character in a soap opera."

"You've completely lost me."

Lapis sighed and ran a hand down her face before shaking her head. "Don't worry about it. I'll be right back." And once again, she was walking away from Peridot, though it didn't feel as worrying this time.

Soon after, she found herself standing in the open doorway of the barn, fingers toying with the hem of her waistband as she forced her feet to carry her forward. With a few paces, she wound up standing beside the sofa you were seated on. "Hey," she blurted. You turned to look up at her. "Hey," you offered quietly. "Mind if I sit here?" You nodded and shifted over far enough to give her room, the sight bringing a small smile to her face.

"I, uh," the confidence she had been building on the way to the barn seemed to dissipate as soon as she sat down. Her eyes drifted away from you and landed on the floorboards below. "I just wanted to apologize for… well, the past few months, really." You tilted your head, but didn't speak, wanting to understand what she meant.

"I know I've been acting kind of weird. I hope I didn't upset you too much."

"I mean, I've been worried," you murmured a second later. "But it was more-so because I have no idea if I did something to upset you or not."

She tensed and waved her hands dismissively. "Oh, no, not at all! It was just… my mind getting too loud again. All me, I swear." A bit of relief flooded through your limbs, allowing you to breathe for just a moment before another question formed and rolled off your tongue. "What was going on?"

Her face darkened with a deep shade of blue, accenting the golden freckles decorating her face. Once again, her head dipped down and her eyes lowered to the ground. "I, um," she stammered out. God, she really was just as bad as those characters.

"I guess I just got a little jealous." Her voice was so soft that you nearly didn't catch what she said. Everything from the previous few months finally clicked into place, however, and your brows lifted. "Oh."

A pause.

"Why?"

She sighed, closing her eyes. "Well, you've just been spending so much time with the others, especially Peridot, and my mind just started playing tricks on me, I guess. I mean, I know you wouldn't ever hurt me like that, but it's kind of hard to ignore those thoughts sometimes, y'know?"

You nodded. "Well, if you want, we could start spending more time together again. I know it's been a while since we've even just spent the day together since Little Homeworld is so close to being completed. Maybe we could take more breaks and go on those little dates we used to." Her head finally lifted, eyes locking onto yours immediately. "Are you sure? I figured you'd want to finish Little Homeworld first."

"I thought you'd be the same way," you chuckled. "That's why I never thought to bring it up. I'd love to spend more time with you again though. We'll just have to tell Peridot and Bismuth beforehand, otherwise they're going to interrupt an ungodly amount of times." A laugh finally spilled past her lips as she gave you a nod.

"Yeah, that's true." She hummed. "Would you maybe wanna go on one of those dates right now? I kind of need to get away from Peridot until my embarrassment dies down." It was your turn to nod, and you followed it up by standing and holding out your hand for her to take. "Yeah, absolutely. But let's at least go find Bismuth first and let her know we'll be gone for a bit."

She let you pull her to her feet. "Sounds good to me."

Pearl thought she had worked through these issues by now. Her jealousy over Greg had long been settled, and with the good terms they had found themselves on, she figured she'd never have to worry about those awful thoughts and feelings again.

Of course, she should've known better.

There were thousands and thousands of years of jealousy. It hadn't just been Greg she'd been jealous of. It had been every gem or human who got even a little too close to Rose. The feeling came back to haunt her again and again, even though she'd never admit it. Rose had been gone for over eighteen years now, survived by the one and only Steven Universe — savior of the galaxy — and although she knew she'd never fully get over the loss of the gem she had cherished and loved since she became hers, she had come to terms with how she felt.

The loss was devastating, even after all of these years, and there were still plenty of days where she wanted nothing more than to go back in time just to see Rose again.

And it was okay.

It was okay to feel rage, and sorrow, and confusion.

It was okay to still mourn her.

It was okay to not fully understand why Rose made the decisions she did.

Regardless of how her mind tried to convince her otherwise, it was okay.

But the one feeling she didn't want to experience again was jealousy. After losing Rose and raising Steven, she figured she wouldn't have to ever again.

But then she met you, and by the stars, she fell for you. Hard.

Nearly every second, minute, hour that she had free, she spent with you. It was rare to see the two of you separate most days, and even on the occasional occurrence where you weren't side by side, she was still in contact with you over the phone — a human invention she was grateful for more and more every single day.

She absolutely loved everything about you. At first, she worried that she was trying to see Rose through you, but it didn't take long for her to realize that she saw you for who you were, and that was the most beautiful thing of all. Every hobby, interest, smile, joke, laugh, and conversation that you shared with her bubbled up into a cherished memory that she replayed through her holograms at the end of every day.

Everything had been going perfectly. That's what she told herself. You were together. She was happy with you, and you were happy with her. There was nothing to worry about.

So then why did that nagging, grating, all-too-familiar ache make itself known in her chest every time you were around Amethyst?

Surely she wasn't jealous over her.

She trusted Amethyst — she'd known her for so long. There was no reason for her to think that Amethyst would break that trust and jeopardize a relationship that clearly meant the world to her. Sure, Amethyst was known for her joking, teasing, and occasional pettiness, but interfering with someone else's relationship wasn't something she'd do.

Pearl knew that.

She knew that.

That's why she didn't understand why there was a pit forming in her stomach as she once again watched you and Amethyst from afar.

It had become a routine thing, even without her fully realizing it, to watch the two of you mingle. You were just good friends. There was no reason to get upset.

But it killed her to watch Amethyst make you smile and laugh so effortlessly. It was like you'd known her far longer. It was like you were more comfortable with her.

Was she not enough for you? Was there something she could do to get your attention back on her, and only her? She didn't know, but she was fighting against her urges to storm over and pull you away. Her fingers twitched on the banister of the steps leading up to the house, tempted to turn and grasp at the wooden beam until it cracked from her inhuman strength.

The sight of Amethyst taking your hand — even though it was only for a few seconds, likely for another one of her jokes — sent her skin ablaze. There was an anger festering beneath, one she repeatedly tried to snuff out, and she found herself shuffling closer to the steps, almost as if she would bolt down them at any given moment.

Had Ruby and Sapphire not been down at Little Homeworld for their self-taught classes, Pearl was sure they'd both be there by her side, offering a few words of warning or trying to convince her to take a breath.

If Steven had been there, he'd be talking to her about why she felt so disgusted at the sight of you spending time with someone else, despite the fact that you had every right to do so. He'd encourage her to go down and join the two of you, or talk to you at the very least about what had been bothering her for months.

And yet, despite knowing what the three of them would say, and despite knowing that she only needed to trust you, that envy hardly faltered.

And when you playfully bumped Amethyst before doubling over with a roar of laughter, it seared worse than before.

Why couldn't you be that way around her?

Her legs carried her down the steps before she even realized it. By the time she paid attention to what she was doing, she was already half a step behind you, hand outstretched to grab hold of your arm. Feeling slender fingers snare themselves around your wrist pulled your focus away from the conversation, and you turned to find Pearl standing there, an unreadable expression riddled over her face as she stared at you.

"Pearl?" You asked with a small quiver in your voice, unsure of why she had come over in such a hurry. "Is everything okay?" Her jaw clenched and she blinked, glancing at where her hand was linked to your arm and immediately pulling away as if she had just fully processed where she was. Her eyes darted over to Amethyst, who was just as bewildered and concerned as you were.

"Ah-" In a motion too quick to properly see, her palm lifted to shield her mouth. Just as quickly, her hand rolled into a fist and turned, a noticeable tension in her knuckles as she cleared her throat. "Yes, sorry. I hadn't realized— I didn't mean to grab a hold of you. I just," she paused, sucking in an unsteady breath.

"Could I speak with you privately for a moment?" With your mind still reeling to try and make sense of her sudden behavior, you eyed Amethyst, who gave you a shrug and a nod. "Yeah, sure," you finally replied, following her to stand a decent distance away. When she was sure the two of you couldn't be heard, she let out a heavy breath.

It took everything in her to not blurt out that she simply wanted you to spend time with her and only her. That would only leave a negative thread in how you viewed her, and that was the last thing she wanted. A moment passed where she closed her eyes and tried to phrase her thoughts correctly.

"I sincerely hope this doesn't come across the wrong way," she started, opening her eyes but only barely managing to look at you. "But if I'm being completely honest, I've been feeling rather… neglected in our relationship. I understand this most certainly isn't the best time or place to bring this up, but it's been eating away at my mind for several months at this point, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us if I didn't voice it to you.

"As petty as it may sound, it feels like you've been spending far more time with Amethyst than you have with me. I understand that I have no right to keep you from spending time with others — I mean, humans are social beings, after all, it's part of your nature — and I trust that you wouldn't jeopardize what we have, but I'd really, really appreciate it if you'd spend more time with me."

You blinked at her, unable to find the words to say as you tried to process what all she had said.

Was she…?

Oh.

Oh, she was jealous.

Oh, wow, okay. That certainly wasn't what you were expecting.

"Yeah," you finally blurted after a moment. "Yeah, we can spend more time together. Sorry, by the way. I didn't know I was spending so much time with Amethyst." Her eyes instantly lit up at your words. Would you have said the same thing if she talked to you about it sooner? That would've been so much easier.

"It's quite alright. It's not necessarily that I mind you spending time with her, I just wish you and I could spend more time together as well, especially now that there isn't much that I have to do. I've been missing you, if I'm being honest, which is odd since you're here most of the time." You nearly winced at her words. Had you really been neglecting her that much?

That had to change.

"Well, why don't we plan a little date for tonight? Just you and I," you suggested, linking your hands together behind your back. Her lips stretched into a wide grin at the idea and she nodded, clapping her own hands together in front of her. "Perfect! Oh, I already have so many ideas," she replied with riveting enthusiasm.

"Could I steal you away from Amethyst for a bit to start the planning?"

"No need, dude," came an amused voice, one that made the two of you jump and twirl around to the source. Amethyst smirked with her arms crossed as she glanced between the two of you. "Amethyst," Pearl yelped, "how long have you been listening?" The shorter gem shrugged.

"Long enough to know how down bad you are for her," she teased while jabbing her thumb in your direction. "Down bad?" Pearl echoed, and while Amethyst snickered at her lack of understanding for modern lingo, you brushed it off and sighed.

"I'll explain it to you later," you assured her, earning a nod and another small smile.