love the trope where an authoritative side character pointedly pretends not to help the hero they’re not supposed to be helping by saying shit like “well I can’t just let you wander around up to the THIRD FLOOR where you could just FIND THE THING YOU NEED in the FIRST ROOM ON THE LEFT. And under no circumstances should you USE THE KEY FROM UNDER THE MAT. I wish I could help you, but I CAN’T. Now excuse me, I need to take this phone call for the next 37 minutes EXACTLY.”
My doctor did that for me once. I had to get an expensive brain scan and she was like ‘do you smoke?’ and I was like ‘no’ and she was like “well that’s a pity because the government will pay for this expensive brain scan if you had been a smoker so - do you smoke?” 🤣🤣🤣 I was like ‘yes’ and she’s like ‘oh wow then this scan will be free’
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Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.
I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.
Hello! First and foremost I hope you're having a good day as you read this.
I'm hopping on here because I was just having a day™️ and I needed a good dose of heart wrenching, yearing, slow burning angst, and you've never disappointed in that department with your stories, so I took to AO3 and finally read your Father Figure work.
I've been wanting to have a go at it for the longest time now! but I really struggle with operating AO3, so I'm sorry that I'm coming to Tumblr instead of commenting over there but it's just easier for me to articulate my thoughts and write this way.
For starters, I truly cannot get enough of the way you gave so much more depth and meaning to their relationship.
One of the things that bothered me about the original card was their first meeting after he'd disappeared. How she just breezed past it, no questions asked, and just let him hop on that car with her.
I kept thinking, I'd have deliberately crashed that car just to avoid being in the same suffocating space as the person I loved most, who just left me to die.
The way she just needs a room to scream, to dispel all the disgusting, traitorous yearning building up inside her before putting up that wall again was just depicted so incredibly well, that it felt like I was in there with her.
Another thing I just adore and admire is the way you write the female character in your stories. Many times in fics and books alike, I just find that they're either spineless, meek little things or just girl bossing machines who never stop and let nothing get past them, but you just build up her vulnerability as well as you build up her resilience.
A common theme in the flashbacks to their old life together is her inability to ever truly feel.. safe. Like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop, even if Sylus only ever gives and gives. She doesn't feel deserving, she feels too damaged and rotten to truly let herself be taken in by the safety and affection he provides.
I can't even imagine the damage it would do, to have all her fears essentially proven right when he just disappears.
I like that the slow burn is not only because of the twisted nature of their bond, of what exactly he even represents for her, all the roles he's filled over the years, but because realistically, he can't undo the damage just by showing up again.
I really truly feel like it's not even a matter of not wanting him there because she feels betrayed. It's not just the reopened wound of abandonment.
It's that she doesn't feel worthy of a family. Of the safety she once felt. It's all temporary and not designed for her.
Which is why as much as it PAINS and ENRAGES me to read about, it makes so much sense and I'm smooching your brain wrinkles at the depiction of her falling into domestic abuse.
The way she equates that feeling of comfort, of human relationships. Of having companionship in exchange for something.
With Sylus it was servitude. Even if he never made her do anything, she struck a deal and he took her in, and shes always felt she owed him for that favor.
And now with that sorry excuse of a man she's with, it's her body. She pays for his presence, even if offers little comfort, with his violence, because she knows he stays.
I really hope he gets his skull bashed in soon but I trust your storytelling methods will provide me with that satisfaction eventually.
I'm also constantly curious about Sylus' point of view. It was such a good insight to his character when she falls unconscious in his arms at the club and he truly.. sees her, for the first time in years. He sees what's become of her. What he's directly done by his choices.
I know he's quick to grasp things, quick to catch that she clearly wasn't as well off as he thought, that something is off about her boyfriend.. but I wonder to what extent he realizes hes broken her.
The last scene, where she tells him after this mission she wants him gone, I found myself wondering what he thinks.
Is he devastated? Would he do it just because he thinks she'll never be able to forgive him?
Would he be selfish? Rather her hate him more because stays forcefully just to not leave her alone again?
Most importantly, I wonder if he can ever come to terms with the fact that this will never leave her.
I trust the slow burn! And the shift to more romantic and intimate settings.
I YEARN for it actually, for the healing I need after my heart has been RIPPED apett with hers.
I trust that they'll talk about it and she'll learn the truth. That everything hes done for years was for her safety. That she is the center of his thoughts and actions.
But that doesn't take away the feelings and fears she's lived with. Survived with rather, for a decade. She'll carry that stone forever and I think he will too and that's what's so beautifully tragic about how you wrote this.
Omg I'm talking so much I'm sorry but I just got so absorbed into this story, it's so twisted and beautiful and I can't wait for them to smooch it out.
On an entire different note.. Zayne???
"Want me to kill him for you?"
You're actually so cruel for giving that hint of yearning and companionship she could have had with him in another life, because now I want him. Bad.
Hope he and Sylus team up to kick Cedric's head around a little.
Thank you as always, for sharing this masterpiece! I pulled an all nighter reading it and now my circadian rhythm is as fucked as Sylus'. 🫠🫠
Hello hello!~ let's talk about father figure!!
Thank you for your patience (and sorry about your worries that this ask hadn't gotten through... I'm just slow at responding to asks because i like taking my time and to answer them properly or if i do have time i'm too tired to Think and have time wait until the Brain Turns Back On. So, I'm sorry you were having a day TM when you sent this, I hope your day when you read this is much better. I'm doing okay. I started working out again, so the muscles are Sore but boy does exhausting oneself physically help with the sleep.
I can understand struggling with ao3, it's not the most user friendly site especially if you only use mobile. I wish they'd make an app but I understand the legal complications of that, but the site is very awkward on mobile. I don't mind if people say hi to me on ao3 or on tumblr, either, so no need to apologize. I respond more quickly on tumblr because i check it way more often due to social media nature of tumblr, but i always happily respond on both platforms.
So first off, thank you for sending this wonderful message! I'm rolling around in your praise like zayne in a pool of powdered sugar!! I'll address your main comments one by one, while skipping any musings you have that if i answered, i'd be spoiling the story!
You said in your ask: One of the things that bothered me about the original card was their first meeting after he'd disappeared. How she just breezed past it, no questions asked, and just let him hop on that car with her.
And this is exactly why I needed to write this story. It was egregious how they left so much emotional meat on the table to rot. Infold does this all the time, but in Innocent Birdcage it was a crime. I knew when I first read the card that I wanted to 'fix it' to give more weight to the consequences of his choosing not to return to mc for so long, but it wasn't until i saw people claiming Sylus is 'just as bad as Caleb' when it comes to problematic tropes and then people arguing that no, 'Sylus has never done anything problematic in his life, ever,' that I made it a top priority to write the Sylus dad fic because once again, my husband was being simultaneously slandered and pardoned for his 'sins' [by pretending they don't even exist!], which is a particularly annoying skill of this fandom. For the record: Caleb and Sylus are absolutely perfect the way they are, with all of their flaws, taboos, and misdeeds.
You said, I kept thinking, I'd have deliberately crashed that car just to avoid being in the same suffocating space as the person I loved most, who just left me to die.
You and the father figure MC are shaking hands right now. If she didn't need his help to find Tartarus, she'd wrap any vehicle they both occupied around a telephone pole hoping for an explosive grand finale for them both.
Another thing I just adore and admire is the way you write the female character in your stories. Many times in fics and books alike, I just find that they're either spineless, meek little things or just girl bossing machines who never stop and let nothing get past them, but you just build up her vulnerability as well as you build up her resilience.
You are really just touching on every single thing that I try really hard to do in my stories and highlighting them, and I appreciate it so much. I am consistently infuriated by professional published fiction, Infold's canon, and fan-made stories due to their portrayal of female characters. It's like women are only ever allowed to be doormats or girl bosses, they must be likeable and not too problematic, they must be resilient and plucky in the face of rejection and persevere until they get their man or achieve their goal, or they need to be man-hating jerks who are completely independent and don't need anyone at all, or they are innocent virgins who blush and stammer at the first mention of fucking, etc. etc.. They're never allowed to just be people, as opposed to a Palatable Female Archetype. They're never allowed to have unapologetic sexual desire. They're never allowed to be cowards or be angry. They're never given the freedom that the lads men or any men are given for that matter, to be individuals first instead of Women first, and then maybe, if you're lucky, a human. This is also why I went from writing gender neutral MCs to female mcs. I have issues with gender myself, would probably consider myself more agender than anything, but i'm afab and decided that i was going to have to write the stories i wanted to read, because i want to read afabs written from a perspective of 'this protagonist could be anyone, any gender, because gender doesn't fucking matter, only the person matters, and if the gender matters, it only matters because the world erroneously insists that it matters.' So I just write MC as a person, instead of an Acceptable Woman Archetype. Okay haha i woke up today angry, sorry for the soapbox.
I like that the slow burn is not only because of the twisted nature of their bond, of what exactly he even represents for her, all the roles he's filled over the years, but because realistically, he can't undo the damage just by showing up again.
yesss I really, really like making Sylus work for mc's trust and affection even under normal circumstances, so I'm going to put him through his paces in this story. You can't just waltz back in and expect mc to react like she does in canon. Muwhahaha. And i'm going to do it in, as you say, the most intimate and soft of settings between the two of them, and the most brutal and violent settings when building that trust involves someone else :). i'm really looking forward to writing Sylus's hard work and the slow burn.
I really hope he [Cedric] gets his skull bashed in soon but I trust your storytelling methods will provide me with that satisfaction eventually.
I really appreciate you understanding what I was trying to communicate regarding why MC, who is incredibly lethal in her own right, would stay and allow him to do what he does. He will get what he deserves, and as a minor spoiler, it's not going to be the result of girlbossing. I hope you will be satisfied with what i have in store for him.
I'm also constantly curious about Sylus' point of view. It was such a good insight to his character when she falls unconscious in his arms at the club and he truly.. sees her, for the first time in years. He sees what's become of her. What he's directly done by his choices.
I'm hoping to write more Sylus's POV into the latter parts of the story. I kind of start to vibrate thinking about writing his POV when he realizes what Cedric is doing and what he's actually like, as well as revealing what he's thinking when she says that once they find Tartarus, she will never see him again.
And yeaah, I actually didn't set out to write Zayne so.... So wonderfully Zayne. I wanted to do a sweet little cameo, because I enjoy doing that in fic, but my Zayne feelings these days are barely remaining in containment. I promised knightjpg that I'll write an alternate ending to father figure where mc takes Zayne up on his invitation to join him for macarons and she gets a happy, sexy ending with him, simply because like mc, i'm pretty mad at sylus for just LEAVING, no matter his reasons lol and i too want Zayne!!
I hope this answer really conveys my gratitude and delight in reading your ask. I just want to say thank you, for taking the time to read this fic and share such detailed, positive thoughts with me--i don't think it's very popular because of how problematic the subject matter is, but the people who have read it seem to really, really respond to it, and I appreciate it so much. It's very encouraging, and reignites my determination to finish it, and to finish it in a way that is true to my original vision and not try to dilute it with worries about the fandom police. So thank you. I hope I can continue and finish the story in a way that is as enjoyable and emotionally moving as the first parts have been!
You mentioning L'amant and Letranger got me into reading books again after a huge reading block and I'm loving it. Would love to get more recommendation from you queen.
I have two more questions, only if you don't mind.
What are your favorite books?
What books would you think Sylus would read?
hello hello! I'm so glad that the books i shoehorn into my fic led to something so positive!! So I answered another ask recently with a long list of recommendations, but also mentioned that i was likely forgetting so many, so this gives me an opportunity to update it, and the question about sylus's books is such a great challenge to consider!
I'll start off with Sylus's because at first I was intimidated being asked this but then once I started thinking the ideas just kept coming. Most of these are classics or recent translations of classics, and I think that makes sense for our vintage loving old man:
Seamus Heaney's translation of Beowulf | Maria Dahvana Headley's translation of Beowulf. Both are really good, and Headley's uses modern vernacular in such a refreshing way. I think he'd really enjoy the contrasts and beauty of both, as well as the themes of monsterhood being hunted by monstrous humanity.
Emily Wilson's translation of Homer's the Odyssey. Something something a clever, cunning strategist embroiled in the deepest of violence struggles for years to find his way back to his beloved wife.
Sun Tzu's The Art of War, he'd read it as an instruction manual for strategy and to scorn human propensity for violence
David Ferry's version of The Epic of Gilgamesh, a badass mary sue of a king meets his (soulmate) match in a wild man who becomes his most precious companion, they perform heroic feats, only to be punished by the gods for a really petty reason and it ends in their tragic separation when one must die as a result. The themes of soulmates, loss, failed quests for immortality--just the humanity of a story so ancient would be fascinating for Sylus to read, considering he can relate to the perspective of the wildman outsider, the huge beast that is slain, and the punishment of the gods/unavoidability of humanity's ultimate fate (mortals must always die). I'm cheating because I just read this for the first time but I think Sylus would be intrigued and amused by it.
Robert M. Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, thoughtful, philosophical, literally motorcycle maintenace, pertinent to a large intersection of his interests.
William Goldman's The Princess Bride. As you wish. Along with the Art of War, a well-thumbed instruction manual in how to love his beloved and entertain her with adventure
Richard Adams's Watership Down. Exploration of various (horrendous) human political systems through high stakes violence and strategy amongst rabbits, a snarky seagull?? I think he'd enjoy.
I'll stop there for now or else I'll never shut up!
My list, as an addendum to the previous ask linked above as well as Sylus's list:
Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time series. Gorgeous, strange, gripping stories with messages of hope. I forgive her her Christianity because she wrote in a way that I think embodies the love Jesus is supposed to have had for humanity.
Alan Lightman's Einstein's Dreams. Poetic, heart-wrenching, fascinating. Imagining how time working different in alternate universes would effect human relationships and culture.
Maggie Stiefvater's The Raven Cycle series. Young adult but I love every adult in the book and would die for the Gray Man.
I think all of these, combined with my other list, should give you an idea of the kind of books I've read and enjoyed! I hope you can find more that appeal to you after reading this. Thank you for this ask and your interest. i'm so happy to answer questions like these, thank you for asking and thinking i might have something interesting to say!
Thank you @oncasette for the tag! 🥹💕 Any chance to make some old music recs yayyyy
a — Always True To You In My Fashion by Ella Fitzgerald
l — Lovesick by Laufey
w — Would I Love You by Doris Day
a — All I Do Is Dream Of You by Dean Martin
y — You're Sensational by Frank Sinatra
s — Softly, As In A Morning Sunrise by Bobby Darin
j — Just In Time by Blossom Dearie
u — Unforgettable by Nat King Cole
s — Somebody Loves You by Dean Martin
t — Take Good Care Of My Baby by Bobby Vee
r — Raining In My Heart by Buddy Holly
e — Easy To Love by Sammy Davis Jr
d — Darn That Dream by Ella Fitzgerald
No pressure tagging: @maemi324 @deepspacenova @mythblossoms @irandial @gardenialily @unknown-ends @thechaoticarchivist @dissociativewriter @luminaryorbit @loveanddeephistory and anyone else who sees this! I'm tryna think of ppl I've seen on my feed, so many of my moots have gone 😭
Aw, this looks fun! Thank you for the tag, Rach! (And I feel you on the moots 😭)
omg my username is so long lmao - I was nervous about V
t - That That (prod.&feat. SUGA of BTS) by Psy, Suga
h - her by JVKE
e - Emergence by Sleep Token
c - Carnival by John Michael Howell
h - Half Life by Livingston
a - At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb by twenty one pilots
o - Oh No!!! by grandson
t -this is what falling in love feels like by JVKE
i - in my zone by VALORANT, bbno$
c - Chaper & Chain by Cyndr
a - Anxiety by Doechii
r - Real As Ever by Jack Harris
c - Carry You Home by Alex Warren
h - Headlock by Imogen Heap
i - Insane by Black Gryph0n, Baasik
v - Vampire Disco by Friday Pilots Club
i - Icarus by Tony Ann
s - Sunkissed by khai dreams
t - Tattoos by Natalie Jane
No Pressure Tags: @humanitys-strongest-brat , @lordalastar , @amywritesthings , @sixpennydame , @abyssyby , @astheskycries , @mrsackxrman , @salemrph , @leighsartworks216 , and anyone else that would like to join!
While I wait to show a friend smth on Minecraft lol (ty for the tag <333)
l - Leather for Hell by Bitter Ruin
e - Elsa's song by The Amazing Devil
i - I Come With Knives by IAMX
g - Girls by The Dare
h - Herutun Rutun by Umeko Ando
s - Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers
a - Aldrich, Devourer of Gods from the Dark Souls 3 OST
r - Run Away to Mars by TALK
t - Tardigrade Song by Cosmo Sheldrake
w - We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross
o - Overkill (Acoustic Version) by Colin Hay
r - The Reverse Will by Akira Yamaoka
k - Kiss Me You Animal by Burn The Ballroom
s - Starlight Brigade by TWRP ft. Dan Avidan
No tags cuz I'm literally falling asleep while typing this out but anyone feel free to do it if ya want <333
Thank you for the tag @carmelves! I did it with my old username, but not with this new one, you gave me the perfect opportunity 😋
Also you chose all banger songs! Hozier, Måneskin and Sleep Token? Hell Yeah!
Ok, I'm eternally undecided, so sometimes I've entered more than one song per letter 😆
S - Shrike by Hozier
O - One Step Closer by Linkin Park
U - Unknown / Nth by Hozier
R - Rain by Sleep Token
S - Somwhere I Belong by Linkin Park // Spit It Out by Sleepknot
U - Um, It's Kind of a Lot by Will Wood
G - Give by Sleep Token
A - Animals by Anberlin // Aerials by System of A Down
R - Radioactive by Imagine Dragons // Roots Bloody Roots by Sepultura
B - Baseball bat by SiM // Back in Black by AC/DC // Breaking the Law by Judas Priest
O - Oleander by Mother Mother
M - Monster by PVRIS
B - Begging to Bleed by 8 Graves // Black Sheep by Dorothy
There are too many great songs to chose from, especially the ones that start with B and S 😭 choosing between them hurt my soul but at least I started listening to music again.
No pressure tags: seconding @escargoated and @wifechu @notherntree, @knightjpg, @xxsyluslittlecrowxx, @yes-no-maybe-soo
aw thank you for the tag emmy!! here i am fulfilling the prompt horribly late... picking favourites is like pulling teeth so i chose from songs i've been listening to recently! 🖤 I mostly listen to these while I'm writing fic, so very appropriate for this blog
k - kill the noise by me not you
n - never there enough by PROM
i - i've been dying by deadbeat girl
g - goth (slowed, reverb) by sidewalks and skeletons
h - hijo de la luna (piano version, slowed and reverb)
t - the story i heard by blind pilot
j - joe drives again by car sead headrest
p - pretender by carlie hanson
g - grassland by ephilexia
no pressure tags -- @littlebommetje @starryknight565 @wearysparrows
HI !!!! 💞💞💞💞 thank you for the tag, ily 🥰🥰🥰 I love your song choices, I'd love to hear sometime what you think makes a good "fic writing" and what drew you to each one (is it vibes? Lyrics? Story specific??) actually y'know what I'll just send an ask-
ANYWAYS 🫣
s - star - mitski
t - thriller - micheal jackson
a - all my love - coldplay
r - rock that body - the black eyed peas
r - rock with you - seventeen
y - you were beautiful - day6
k - killshot (slowed + reverb) - magdalena bay
n - nillili mambo - block b
i - i have nothing - whitney houston
g - gee - girls' generation
h - hole dwelling - kikuo
t - toi mon amour - marc larvoine and clara luciani
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
It's easy to compare ourselves to other people's visible successes! But underneath the surface, we realize it's not a comparison at all. We can all succeed in different ways. 🥕✨
