« atelophobia »

When I get below a certain weight I don’t burn as many calories as when I weigh more. This works amazingly well for when you plateau or have a lower BMR.

♡100 jumping jacks

♡50 squats

♡100 jumping jacks

♡50 crunches

♡100 jumping jacks

♡50 mountain climbers

♡100 jumping jacks

♡50 plie squats

♡100 jumping jacks

In all my art classes, I was never taught HOW to use the various tools of art.

Like yes, form, and shape and space and color theory and figure drawing is important, but so is KNOWING what different tools do.

I’m 29 and I JUST learned this past month that India Ink is fucking waterproof when it dries. Why is this important? Because I can line something in India Ink and then go over it with watercolors. And that has CHANGED the ENTIRE way I art and the ease I can create with.

-Yo painters, use pencil if u must underdraw beneath an oil painting, the lead is archival but ideally you should be doing underdrawings in a muted earth tones (siennas, umbers, ochres or earth green) with some titanium white added to it. (The white nearly matches the canvas and earth tones naturally blend with all colors on top unless u do super thin glaze washes).

-Trying to make a natural looking warm black? Don’t use black straight from tube, Mix alizarin crimson and viridan. add raw umber to adjust for light depth.

-If your into mixed media ALWAYS use acrylic first and oil on top (the gesso on primed canvas is acrylic based and oil sits on top of it great). NEVER put acrylic paint on top of oil, the acrylic will crackle/decompose and fall apart/off the canvas.

-India ink is permanent and if your using ink from a jar it should say it’s permanence. professional art grade pens usually have there permanace listed either on the pen or the companies website.

-Red cinnabar is poisonous, DO NOT EAT IT, no matter how much like fruit loops it smells.

-Translucent and transparent are NOT the same. translucent is *shiny* and a cloudier color, ideal for mixing usually ordor making vibrant colors like for eyes, cars, etc. Transparent is matte and usually a 50% transparency from an opaque color.

-ALWAYS DO A TEST SWATCH OF ANY NEW MATERIAL.

-any paint made with “true alizarin crimson” “red lake” and “chrome yellow” pigment is a fugitive paint. Fugitive means the pigment fades dramatically and disappears over time, (usually 5 to 15 years) lots of van goghs paintings have this problem. be very careful with these pigments. Alizarin crimson especially smells extremely sweet and like fruit loops or fruit loops, don’t eat it.

-gauche is a mix of watercolor and ink, proceed with caution as this material can be an asshole.

-Watercolor can be made darker/thicker by letting it dry slightly in cake form or in liquid form and can be dry brushed if u get the timing down.

-Paint liquid rubber or lay down thin pieces of painters tape on edges in watercolor paintings to Prevent bleeding between lines if u need super sharp edges.

-always tape down the entire paper edges when u paint with watercolor to a board to prevent the paper from curling as it dries.

-add salt directly into wet watercolor paintings to absorb pigment and make shit look like space.

-Always paint in well ventilated areas and avoid getting lots of paint on your hands. lots of paint is made with heavy metals and can cause cancer.

-natural materials aren’t always safe, especially

-Ones u collect yourself, do your research before grinding, burning, sanding these things especially indoors.

-natural sable is good for watercolor if you can afford it, i have two smaller brushes i shelled out for to try it, and while i probably didn’t treat the finer point one right, the other one is a miracle i’ve had for nearly 20 years.

No

Wait

Stop 

(These are full sentences! You do not need to say any more) 

I am not comfortable. 

I am not comfortable, I would like… 

you to wait a moment.

another person in the room. 

everyone else out of the room. 

a doctor/nurse of my same gender to preform this test/procedure. 

the person who came with me to this appointment in the room. 

you to explain everything before you begin. 

you to tell me what you are doing as you go. 

to do this another day. 

I want to get a second opinion before we proceed.

I don’t understand, please repeat that. 

I don’t understand, please explain more simply. 

Please say that slower/spell that, I want to do some research myself.

I would like to talk to [someone in my life, ie my parents to SO] before making this decision. 

No, I do not need to talk to [anyone] before making this decision, I am confidant on my own and am ready to proceed. 

What are the side effects of this medication/procedure? What are the potential complications? 

Why are you recommending/prescribing this specific thing? 

What other treatment options are there? Why are you choosing this?

Would your treatment plan be different if I were a man/woman older/younger had kids, etc? Why are you choosing this one then?

IS there anything I should know about this treatment you have not yet told me?  

I understand you say not to, but If I choose to do X, against medical advice, what risks am I running? (ie taking recreational drugs while on medication)

How much will this cost? 

Are there any less expensive options/tests we can run first? 

Is there a generic of this medication you can prescribe instead?

I think you are not understanding me, I said…

You are not listening to me, please let me finish describing my symptoms. 

You are not understanding how much pain I am in, let me clarify… 

I do not think it is anxiety/depression/my weight/etc, what else could it potentially be? 

I think by assuming it is anxiety/depression/my weight/etc you are ignoring some symptoms. Please listen again and let’s discuss what else it could be. 

Please write in my chart that you are not testing for X and why not. 

I am in enough pain/this is detrimental enough to my life that non-treatment is not an option. If you can not treat this/figure out what is wrong, to whom can you refer me?

Please write (or help me write) a summary of what we did today so I don’t forget 

What are our next steps? 

If [what you are recommending] is ineffective, what would my next steps be? What other doctor should I talk to? 

What is the best way to contact you if I have additional questions or issues? 

IT’S OKAY TO TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT MEDICAL-RELATED TRIGGERS, AND THEY SHOULD RESPECT THEM.

I have a terrible fear of hypodermic needles. Whenever I get vaccinations, blood draws, or dental work requiring novocaine, I always tell the attending at the beginning of the visit that I have a needle phobia. I’ve even done this donating blood: “I’ll be fine as long as you never let me see the needle. Don’t even tell me when you’re going to stick me. Just do it.” Logically, I know it’s there–but as long as I don’t see it, I can make it go away. (The brain can be awesome like that.) I’ve been very lucky with the doctors and phlebotomists I’ve had: in the last ten years I’ve had a problem only once, and it was with a dumbass nurse at the blood donation clinic whose mental process was apparently “She has two excellent veins here, one is in the middle of her arm where a typical stick is done and one is right on the edge supported only by a thin strip of tissue, I know, let’s use the second one, that’ll totally hold up to the weight of a large-gauge needle.” I ended up having to look at the needle in order to keep it from permanently damaging my arm. It was very much Not A Good Time–but the nurse who rescued me, bless her, realized I was about to faint from reasons that had nothing to do with my blood being collected, and after bandaging the botched stick she brought me a drink and snack laying down rather than in the recovery room.

This is exactly how a medical professional should react to an accidental trigger: she addressed the immediate medical problem (botched sticks are ugly as hell), then managed my symptoms (lightheadedness should be treated by remaining supine) and provided a secondary solution to the medical issue (I didn’t lose a life-threatening amount of blood, but I did lose enough to fuck with my blood sugar and cause further lightheadedness).

On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve had nurses from shots and Novocaine sticks completely remove the needles from the room before even letting me look back at them after the stick is done. This is a great preventative response to a trigger: it’s an easy fix to just remove the source of anxiety, so they do.

IF YOUR DOCTOR REFUSES TO MANAGE YOUR TRIGGER SYMPTOMS, FIND A NEW DOCTOR. Sometimes it’s impossible to get around a trigger; say you have a serious thing about deep wounds, and you need stitches: you’ll have to monitor them. There’s no way around it (unless your wound is of the very specific type that can be closed up with one of those zipper bandages). But a good doc should be able to give you solutions to manage your response to the situation–for example, gently feeling the wound for heat that may indicate infection before you have to take a look at it.

I went to urgent care for a sore throat and fever. The doctor I saw decided it must be the flu and sent me home for 3 days. 3 days later, my throat still hurt, my fever was higher. I went back to urgent care, saw a different provider who ran some tests and realized I had a bacterial infection in my throat. He prescribed an aggressive course of antibiotics (since the nasty beasts head been given an extra 3 days to build their disgusting homes in my pharynx) and sent me home with instructions to go to the emergency room if I got any worse.

The next time I went to urgent care was after a low speed car accident. The guy who mistook a bacterial infection for the flu was the first provider to come into the exam room. I told him I refused to be treated by him because I did not trust his competence. He told the rest of the staff I wanted a same-gender provider, and I was seen by a very competent doctor. I also told her that gender had nothing to do with my rejection of the other doctor.

Blender is an excellent freeware 3D renderer,possibly better than After Effects

Lightzone to replace Lightroom

Inkscape to replace Illustratr

Audacity to replace Audition (I also received a free version of Pro Tools with my Scarlett Solo audio interface)

—

— “Laziness Does Not Exist” by E Price on Medium

no one:

me: here’s a flow chart of 41 lgbtq+ book recommendations, have fun!

1. learn a new language-

ah, all the time in the world we all have during summer! currently, i’m trying to learn Italian, which isn’t too hard because my first language was Spanish. if you all want a different post on how i got started tell me!

2. start a bullet journal-

with no school in your schedule, you have time to make your bullet journal as complicated or as simple as you’d like. i recently bought a journal and used it as a bujo. i love it!

3. practice your handwriting-

i know many people hate their own handwriting, but how are you going to like it if you don’t practice! i’ve changed my handwriting completely this summer. if you guys want a post about it let me know.

4. make a studyblr/blog-

that’s what i did! i’ve started my studyblr, instagram, and blog (all are linked on my tumblr page ;) )

5. practice calligraphy-

i’ve learned how to do calligraphy with Crayola markers. it’s very easy once you get the hang of it. There are plenty of tutorials online.

6. clean your room-

it’s a great time to clean your room! i know when it’s the school year i never have time to be cleaning my room. you can do a deep decluttering because you probabaly haven’t in a while…

7. DO YOUR SUMMER HOMEWORK-

please for the love of god, do! your! summer! homework! if! you! have! it! i finished my summer homework a couple weeks ago, but my friends still haven’t started. i’m saving their butts by helping them with it. i know plenty of people are going to start doing it two days before school starts. please don’t be one of those people.

8.read!-

i know a lot of people don’t like to read but maybe with your summer boredom you’ll get so bored that you’ll want to read? currently, i’m reading Lord of Shadows by Cassandra Clare.

9. try to prepare for the upcoming school year-

look up your classes and research about them. it’s good to start preparing for what you’re going to learn. it helps so when you go over those subjects in class, you can excel in it ;)

10. relax-

The Moon landing was faked

Some good and/or interesting (or hokey) ‘examples’ included for most resources. tryin to organize & share stuff that was floating around onenote.

Journals (open access) – Folklore, Occult, etc

Culutural Analysis - folklore, popular culture, anthropology – The Mythical Ghoul in Arabic Culture

Folklore - folklore, anthropology, archaeology – The Making of a Bewitchment Narrative, Grecian Riddle Jokes

Incantatio - journal on charms, charmers, and charming – Verbal Charms from a 17th Century Manuscript

Oral Tradition – Jewish Folk Literature, Noises of Battle in Old English Poetry

Journal of Ethnology and Folkloristics – Nani Fairtyales about the Cruel Bride, Energy as the Mediator between Natural and Supernatural Realms

International Journal of Intangible Heritage 

Studia Mythologica Slavica (many articles not English) – Dragon and Hero, Fertility Rites in the Raining Cave, The Grateful Wolf and Venetic Horses in Strabo’s Geography

Folklorica - Slavic & Eastern European folklore association – Ritual: The Role of Plant Characteristics in Slavic Folk Medicine, Animal Magic

Esoterica - The Journal of Esoteric Studies – The Curious Case of Hermetic Graffiti in Valladolid Cathedral 

The Esoteric Quarterly

Mythological Studies Journal

Luvah - Journal of the Creative Imagination – A More Poetical Character Than Satan

Transpersonal Studies – Shamanic Cosmology as an Evolutionary Neurocognitive Epistemology, Dreamscapes

Beyond Borderlands  – tumblr

Paranthropology

GOLEM - Journal of Religion and Monsters – The Religious Functions of Pokemon, Anti-Semitism and Vampires in British Popular Culture 1875-1914

Correspondences - Online Journal for the Academic Study of Western Esotericism – Kriegsmann’s Philological Quest for Ancient Wisdom 

– History, Archaeology

Adoranten - pre-historic rock art

Chitrolekha - India art & design history – Gomira Dance Mask

Silk Road – Centaurs on the Silk Road: Hellenistic Textiles in Western China

Sino-Platonic - East Asian languages and civilizations – Discursive Weaving Women in Chinese and Greek Traditions

MELA Notes - Middle East Librarians Association

Didaskalia - Journal for Ancient Performance

Ancient Narrative - Greek, Roman, Jewish novelistic traditions – The Construction of the Real and the Ideal in the Ancient Novel

Akroterion - Greek, Roman – The Deer Hunter: A Portrait of Aeneas

Greek, Roman and Byzantine Studies  – Erotic and Separation Spells, The Ancients’ One-Horned Ass

Roman Legal Tradition - medieval civil law – Between Slavery and Freedom 

Phronimon - South African society for Greek Philosophy and the Humanities – Special Issue vol. 13 #2, Greek philosophy in dialogue with African+ philosophy

The Heroic Age - Early medieval Northwestern Europe – Icelandic Sword in the Stone

Peregrinations - Medieval Art and Architecture – Special Issue vol. 4 #1, Mappings 

Tiresas - Medieval and Classical – Sexuality in the Natural and Demonic Magic of the Middle Ages

Essays in Medieval Studies  – The Female Spell-caster in Middle English Romances, The Sweet Song of Satan

Hortulus - Medieval studies – Courtliness & the Deployment of Sodomy in 12th-Century Histories of Britain, Monsters & Monstrosities issue, Magic & Witchcraft issue

Annual of Medieval Studies at CEU

Medieval Archaeology – Divided and Galleried Hall-Houses, The Hall of the Knights Templar at Temple Balsall

Medieval Feminist Forum  – multiculturalism issue; Gender, Skin Color and the Power of Place … Romance of Moriaen, Writing Novels About Medieval Women for Modern Readers, Amazons & Guerilleres

Quidditas - medieval and renaissance 

Medieval Warfare

The Viking Society - ridiculous amount of articles from 1895-2011

Journals (limited free/sub/institution access)

Al-Masaq - Journal of the Medieval Mediterranean – Piracy as Statecraft: The Policies of Taifa of Denia, free issue

Mythical Creatures of Europe - article + map

Folklore - limited free access – Volume 122 #3, On the Ambiguity of Elves

Digital Philology -  a journal of medieval cultures – Saracens & Race in Roman de la Rose Iconography

Pomegranate - International Journal for Pagan Studies

Transcultural Psychiatry

European Journal of English Studies  – Myths East of Venice issue, Esotericism issue

Books, Texts, Images etc. – Folklore, Occult etc.

Magical Gem Database - Greek/Egyptian gems & talismans [x] [x]

Biblioteca Aracana - (mostly) Greek pagan history, rituals, poetry etc. – Greater Tool Consecration, The Yew-Demon

Curse Tablets from Roman Britain - [x]

The Gnostic Society Library – The Corpus Hermeticum, Hymn of the Robe of Glory

Grimoar - vast occult text library – Grimoires, Greek & Roman Necromancy, Queer Theology, Ancient Christian Magic

Internet Sacred Text Archive - religion, occult, folklore, etc. ancient texts

Verse and Transmutation - A Corpus of Middle English Alchemical Poetry

– History

The Internet Classics Archive - mainly Greco-Roman, some Persian & Chinese translated texts

Bodleian Oriental Manuscript Collection - [x] [x] [x]

Virtual Magic Bowl Archive - Jewish-Aramaic incantation bowl text and images [x] [x] 

Vindolanda Tablets - images and translations of tablets from 1st & 2nd c. [x]

Corsair - online catalog of the Piedmont Morgan library (manuscripts) [x] [x]

Beinecke rare book & manuscripts  – Wagstaff miscellany, al-Qur'ān–1813

LUNA - tonnes from Byzantine manuscripts to Arabic cartography

Maps on the web - Oxford Library [x] [x] [x]

Bodleian Library manuscripts - photographs of 11th-17th c. manuscripts – Treatises on Heraldry, The Worcester Fragments (polyphonic music), 12 c. misc medical and herbal texts

Early Manuscripts at Oxford U - very high quality photographs – (view through bottom left) Military texts by Athenaeus Mechanicus 16th c. [x] [x], MS Douce 195 Roman de la Rose [x] [x]

Trinity College digital manuscript library  – Mathematica Medica, 15th c.

eTOME - primary sources about Celtic peoples

Websites, Blogs – Folklore, Occult etc.

Demonthings - Ancient Egyptian Demonology Project 

Invocatio - (mostly) western esotericism

Heterodoxology - history, esotericism, science – Religion in the Age of Cyborgs

The Recipes Project - food, magic, science, medicine – The Medieval Invisible Man (invisibility recipes)

Morbid Anatomy - museum/library in Brooklyn

– History 

Islamic Philosophy Online - tonnes of texts, articles, links, utilities, this belongs in every section; mostly English

Medicina Antiqua - Graeco-Roman medicine

History of the Ancient World - news and resources – The So-called Galatae, Gauls, Celts in Early Hellenistic Balkans; Maidens, Matrons Magicians: Women & Personal Ritual Power in Late Antique Egypt

Διοτίμα - Women & Gender in Antiquity

Bodleian Library Exhibitions Online – Khusraw & Shirin, Hebrew Manuscripts as a Meeting-Place of Cultures

Medievalists – folk studies, witchcraft, mythology, science tags

Never refill a Copic with regular isopropyl alcohol unless you have absolutely no other option.

Copic markers have their own ink refills to go with each marker,

They look like this and cost around the same price as a Copic Sketch maybe slightly more however they can be used to refill a marker several times

By using isopropyl alcohol what you’re doing, in fact, is diluting what little ink you have left in your make, therefore changing the shade of it.

Of course the one exception to this rule is the colourless blender 0 which is a marker that is full of regular isopropyl alcohol.

As a side note, DON’T throw away your marker if one/both of the is damaged

Copic also make replacement nibs for all of their markers

1. Become aware of how and when you tearing yourself down.

2. Now that you can catch yourself doing it. Offer counters to the negative self talk. A really useful thing I read was to talk to yourself almost the way you would child. Gentle and patient. Even when they fuck up.

3. Take time to celebrate your small accomplishments. You’ve been attacking yourself for every little mistake. Apply that same fervor to the positive things in your life. Did the dishes even though you didn’t want to? Fuck yeah! Got up and took shower? YES!!! You are taking positive steps to feeling better. Celebrate it.

4. Make lists of things you’re good at/ like about yourself. The first time I did this the only two things in my list we’re that I liked my hair and I had good friends. It was start.

5. Don’t beat yourself up if you screw up steps 1-4. It’s counter productive. When I catch myself calling my self stupid for some mistake or other my response now is,“We don’t talk to ourselves like that anymore. What’s something constructive that could actually help solve the problem.”

Most of the time that seems to work. Not always. But more and more Everytime.

alright so this is a pretty simple statement, as in there’s not a lot said, it’s not three words, so I’m gonna try and make my reply as short as possible.

So, I have ADHD, and a part of ADHD is emotional dysregulation. It’s really difficult for me to regulate my emotions/my emotional reactions, in other words. 

When I can’t choose between two types of cereals, it stresses me out and, unlike neurotypical people, I am unable to stop that stress from snowballing into anxiety, panic, and a general sense of dread. It’s a weird response, for sure, but it’s my response, and it’s how my ADHD manifests. 

Impulsiveness: You might think this symptom would make it easy to make an instant decision but when you are confronted with a ton of options it actually it can be much more like realizing you want a bunch of different things and now it’s harder to pick just one. Wow that option looks exciting I really like the sound of that… But this is an old favorite of mine and I’ll miss it if I go with something else… And I’ve always wanted to try that thing will I regret it if I don’t?… I want so many things but I must choose only one and now I’m confused

Hyperfixation: ADHD is largely due to an inability to regulate focus. Which means we can also get really focused on something for a prolonged period of time. Such as the pros and cons of several options. The chicken is good but I had chicken for lunch, pasta could be good if they hold the capers, I haven’t had chili in a long time but I don’t know whether it would be really spicy here or not. On and on and on. Well past when others are done we still are thinking through every little thing.

Difficulty Planning: Without time blindness and with the ability to more readily form a long term plan someone who does not have ADHD may feel confident in deciding one thing in relation to others, reasoning that this falls in line with their long-term goals or for smaller day-to-day choices deciding that next week they’ll get the other option. ADHDers often live more in the moment, but we are aware of the future. It’s What do I want most now?… I want to go with what makes me happy, but what about the most practical option? What is the truly best option for me and how do I even tell? Thinking this through doesn’t come as naturally to me.

Low Self-Esteem & Self-Doubt: ADHDers almost universally have issues with their self-image from years of being judged for being different than everybody else. Naturally we begin to doubt ourselves and thus our choices. And many of us cope by trying to pretend we don’t care or by trying way to hard to please someone else, or both. This leads us to trouble choosing too. I’m so worried I’ll make the wrong choice and ruin everything like I always seem to do. I don’t trust myself so how can I make a decision?... What makes the most sense in order to fit in with the culture? I have trouble figuring this out sometimes. Will I look silly if I do what I love?… I want to make everyone else happy, everyone has their own preferences, but deep down I want something totally different. I’ve got to make sure everyone is pleased with me I hate being a disappointment. I’ve got to make the absolute best choices for everyone on everything. I’m stuck because it’s nearly impossible. And what about that thing I like just this once, but no. Or maybe. Well I guess everyone likes this generic thing. Wait no, Dave said he thought it was gross. Ahh! This choice reflects on me and I must make sure it is excellent.

All of that is plenty stressful without having to deal with emotional dysregulation and low stress tolerance. But ADHDers frequently deal with those symptoms as well.