Krusty Krab Unfair. She/her 28 ♓️

they will kill you for having fun on the internet

I really just ignore phone calls. Like leave a message. I don’t check those either but like

I brought 2 cans of Dr. Pepper to a friend's party and we poured them into a saucepan to make hot Dr. Pepper, but it turned out we didn't like hot Dr. Pepper so we decided to keep it on the burner and reduce it down to Dr. Pepper syrup and then mixed that with soda water to make reconstituted Dr. Pepper, which it turned out we also didn't like

AITA for realizing that my best friend is actually a ghost and not telling him because i'm worried that if he realizes he's dead he'll finally be able to accept it and fully pass on and i won't be able to hang out with him anymore?

AITA if i've been dead for a while but haven't told my best friend yet because he doesn't seem to have realized i'm a ghost and if he does i'm worried that he'll finally be able to accept it and let me go and i can't bear the thought of losing him?

AITA for killing that guy

The 4pm bird gets the weird and fucked up spider

the "rip ___ you would have loved ___" meme is inherently more fun with ancient characters. rip clytemnestra you would have loved morse code. rip theseus you would have loved the airtag. rip callisto you would have loved wearing shorts.

If a particular air freshener scent is only ever used in bathrooms it becomes the smell of shit by proxy

My coworkers are all cackling because, yeah. This would have been equally as effective.

the real danger of spending too much time with friends is you stumble out of ten days of happiness and good food like oh my god THAT was real life. my job means NOTHING

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

Unoriginal sin. Derivative sin

Cos

Betty Crocker mutates your children

what the fuck. hey get this off my post

when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

saturday night when you’re in the spot did you not hear bruno

I don’t believe you.

just watch

This post is how I've learned that the sexual meaning of "spit roast" has now become more well known than the literal meaning of roasting something on a spit, and the slangy way of using it to describe an ass kicking or a humiliating defeat is completely forgotten