Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs
hello vonnie

JBB: An Artblog!
d e v o n

JVL

Love Begins
we're not kids anymore.
cherry valley forever

romaβ
Misplaced Lens Cap

ellievsbear
Monterey Bay Aquarium
occasionally subtle
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
One Nice Bug Per Day
Keni
πͺΌ

Janaina Medeiros
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@untitled-violet
Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

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How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.
This "allosexuality" thing is just a phase. You just need to have really bad sex, and then maybe you'll change your mind.
early magic card: Dawn Hawk late-stage magic card: Hubert Farnsworth, Brilliant Inventor (tm)
early yugioh card: Cabbage Warrior late-stage yugioh card: Twilight Memnosinner Exhuvia
early pokemon card: Diglet late-stage pokemon card: Diglet ZZZ+
Changing the relationship status to "Stalemate"
Changing the relationship status to "Uneasy truce"
Changing the relationship status to "Mutually assured destruction"
vienna

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every time a young gay person quits smoking or makes the decision that they want to quit, the sun shines on us all with the promise of happiness and beauty.
i appreciate everybody thatβs sharing the sentiment that itβs good for anyone to quit smoking (it is) but i very specifically wanted to highlight and encourage LGBTQ youth because lesbian, gay, and bisexual people are about 1.5 to 2.5 times more likely to smoke cigarettes than heterosexual people, and the statistics for transgender people are even higher than cisgender people. this is due to tobacco companies marketing heavily and aggressively to LGBTQ communities and exploiting the higher rates of mental health struggles prevalent in our communities.
i want and hope to see all my LGTBQ people live long, healthy, fulfilled lives despite how predatory and punishing this world can be. you should stay around as long as you can to make it a little better in your own way.
got really fucking high the other day and convinced myself that there was a new villain in the city and had a full on fight with a rat. not like a superpowered rat just regular
:(
god im sorry.
i loved you in ratatouille
The Big Leagues (Ward/Cyberpunk 2077)
Weβre close to the big leagues.
Thatβs what Jackie likes to say, three beers too far into a 3 AM haze of vomit and stims. Too far gone to care, loud, raucous. Reminiscing over our latest gig like a dragon in one of those old pre-Krash animated flicks that Jenkins liked to play at one of his infamous mixers. This was back during my Saka days, before Jenkins grew too big for his little pond and threw me out like the rest. He only ever cared about himself, the prick. Certainly didnβt care about some washed out old fantasy movie. It was all about the clout, the cultivation of the appearance of culture. No real substance to it.
Just like that dragon. I was stuck in the corner of that corpo party, blazed out of my fucking mind on whatever upper was getting all of us little minions through the latest hell week. I remember staring at that flickering screen, that antique animated film scrolling by, that red dragon rolling about the screen, swollen and bulbous amongst the hoard. More gold than any one person could count, but it refused to let any of it go with those dopey cruel eyes.
Jenkins was like that dragon. So were Jackie and I, clinging to those moments of heart-pumping adrenaline as though we could taste the greatness in them. The memory of chrome and sweat and blood and neon lights so incandescently bright they bleed between your teeth. Weβre close to the big leagues.
Too damn easy to get swept up in all that.
I shouldnβt forget that we were similar to that dragon in another way. Back in those days, things were simpler, the world was smaller. The Afterlife didnβt exist, Night City was still giving way to its first dreamers, it was still just our world. Just enough space for legends to be born: Morgan Blackhand, Adam Smasher, Spider Murphy, Bartmossβ¦
Relics of another era. That old pre-Krash fic with the dragon. Night Cityβs legends.
Jackie wants to be like them. The next big name, complete with a drink in the Afterlife.
I donβt even know if we live in that world anymore. I donβt even know if itβs possible.
It certainly wonβt be if we fail to survive the next ten minutes.
Gunfire slams into the concrete wall that Iβm crouched behind, rocky shards vibrating off the pillar and onto my shoulders. Thick heavy thuds, the penetrating thunder of some battered old Burya. On the other side of the doorway that weβre using for shelter, I can see Jackie, iron brandished red-hot. A thick haze hangs in the air, the brown stain of dried blood dirties the floor, angry Russian punctuates the staccato of the Burya.
Scavengers. Always the fucking worst, vultures with teeth.
Weβre here on a gig from the Lady of Westbrook. Wakako Okada herself, the fixer of Jig-Jig Street. One step closer to the big leagues, but I canβt think about that right now. Probably would offend a lot of people to hear, but being an edgerunnerβs like running corpo. Any dumb gonk getting high off the thought of their future success isnβt focusing enough on the here and now. Iβve seen far too many stupid fucks get their skulls ventilated trying to take too big a bite of the pie, corpo or edgerunner. Thinking too much about the big picture distracts from the here and now, gets you zeroed faster than you can blink.
So, the gig. A search and rescue, pretty basic. A woman named Sandra Dorsett who had a contract with Okada to hire some mercs in case she ever went missing. Pretty goddamn prescient, given that weβve tracked her down to a scavenger den. Could just be her unlucky day, but Night City has never been that kind. It definitely isnβt the first time that someone has tried to use scavs to get rid of their enemies.
Not our deal, not our problem. Okada wasnβt paying us to bodyguard the woman, just to get her away from the scavs. I motioned to Jackie and caught his attention, then waved towards the doorway with my free hand. The other brandished my trusty Nue. Itβs all you really need at the core of it, in theory anyway. A reliable gun and a choom, and a cool head to see you through the shit.
I had all three. Jackie nodded in response to my silent communication. Moments later, the roar of the Burya paused as its wielder scrambled to reload. In a flash, I darted through the doorway and planted two shots between the Scavβs yellowed eyes. Arasaka had taken back their implants after my abrupt dismissal, but I still had the training, and months of running with Jackie had retrained my meat enough to use it.
The Scav dropped. Automatically, my gun moved onto the next, fired, then moved on again. Two. Three. A fourth crouched behind a short workbench, a bullet to the neck. Jackie was at my back firing, taking out the ones that I had an awkward angle on. It was all going well, too well, which made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
Instinct alone saved my life as I dropped to the ground, dragging Jackie with me. Seconds later, a blistering beam of light pierced the air where our heads had been, coring through the far wall with a molten screech.
Youβve got to be fucking kidding me.
βCape!β I roared at Jackie, shoving him back as I dove for the workbench. Another beam carved through the floor like a hot knife through a patty of SCOP, the smell of molten concrete equally repulsive. The power seemed fairly straightforward, some sort of ranged, superheated laser strike, but capes werenβt like implants. You could never trust any one power to be the same. They always had some weird fucking shit.
More beams were coming down, unfocused, scattershot. I tried to keep a cool head as I crept around my cover, catching a glimpse of the Scav. He appeared coked out of his mind, jittery, glistening with sweat. It rose off his body in twisting ribbons of steam. Part of his hand had been torn up, a jagged cut spurting blood across the floor. For a moment, I swore that I could see the glisten of chrome deep within, past the spasming muscle, but the glint only grew in intensity. The bone, the muscle, the blood β they all shone with that toxic iridescence before contracting and bursting from the wound in another lethal strike.
What a fucking mess. I couldnβt just shoot him without making the situation worse.
Or could I?
I didnβt even need to make eye contact with Jackie, inching his way forward on his stomach like this worldβs most enthusiastic Valentino worm. With a muttered curse and breath, I leapt from my heading spot and aimed my Nue at the Scav. He was moving so jerkily that I couldnβt get a bead on his head. He absolutely could on mine, however. His eyes focused on me, the light of his power building in his wounds. I had provided him with a target and he wanted me dead.
Stupid gonk really should have been faster. He didnβt have a chance to react as Jackie popped up and blew off his head.
The light faded instantly from his wounds. I fired another round into his shattered skull just in case he had one of those regenerator-type abilities β you could never know for sure.
Beside me, Jackie laughed hysterically and put his hands on his knees. βHoly fucking shit, chica! We are going to have a story tonight! Two no-name mercs, putting down a cape. We wonβt be nameless mercs after this, V!β
I rolled my eyes, buying time to settle the tremor in my throat. βSave it for after we rescue the client, Jackie. We donβt have a story if we fail the damn job.β
Jackie sobered up immediately and nodded. βRight you are, right you are. Itβs just, you know how excited I get.β His tone was jovial, but his posture deadly serious as we moved room to room, alert for any remaining scavs. We were all in the clear. βGetting through a fight, all that blood going to my head. Itβs feeding my dreams.β
βYour dreams?β
βOur dreams,β Jackie corrected with a hearty slap to my shoulder. βOne day, V. Just imagine it. Our name spoken on peopleβs lips in the Afterlife. The latest legends of Night City. Edgerunners of renown throughout all the States. International mercs.β A familiar greedy twinkle entered his eyes. βInterdimensional, even. Donβt tell me you arenβt thinking about that either.β
Our odds were in the shitter, but Jackieβs enthusiasm was downright infectious. βSure,β I laughed with a low rasp. All the smog got into my lungs despite my best efforts, scarring my throat. βWeβll get there someday.β
Jackie laughed heartily. βAlways heard that the air is cleaner on the other side of the portal. Might do you some good, if we canβt find some ripper or cape to check on your throat.β
I swore that he could read my mind sometimes. We just had that bond, the sort that you could only find between two chooms in Night City. Finding those moments of levity wherever we could, reminding ourselves that we had each otherβs back. It made the rest of our work easier to stomach.
Jackie noticed it first, his brow furrowing.. The caustic scent of antiseptic, mixed with the stench of rotting synthetic flesh and dead tissue dripping from scavenged chrome. Pushing through a bathroom door left ajar, the smell quickly became unbearable. Body parts hung from the wall, or had been stacked up neatly on the floor. It was almost funny, how much disrespect the scavs had shown towards their victims versus how much reverence they had afforded the chrome. Then again, the metal always sold for far more than the meat.
Sandra Dorsett fortunately wasnβt among them. We found her still alive in the ice bath, head shaved and skin slick with antiseptic. Jackie hefted her up by the shoulders, as gentle and kind as he always was, while I hacked through the jammer that the scavs had set up to block her Trauma Team signal.
The chill to her skin and muscles stuck with me as we carried her out onto the apartment block balcony and left her for the inbound Trauma Team rapid response unit. Night City hardened all of the people who lived within its borders, but the sight of a scavenger victim always sent an ugly twist through my gut. It was nothing compared to a borg beast or the weirdness of capes, but there was something about the mundane cruelty and greed of it all that bothered me more than I could articulate.
As always, Jackie put it best as we took the elevator back down to my car.
βDamn.β He shook his head mournfully. βI really could use a drink, but Iβve got that date with my girl.β
A ping on my agent caught my attention before I could respond. I scanned it, then stopped and read it again, more closely again.
βYou may want to put a hold on that date, Jackie.β
βGod damn, V? Are you insane?β
βWakako wants to meet with us.β
Jackie was quiet. βI must be the insane one, V. Iβm thinking about standing up my girlfriend with another woman.β
I punched him in the shoulder. βShut the fuck up, man.β
His eyes squinted mischievously as he wiped away an imaginary tear. βI was only talking about the Lady of Westbrook. I donβt really have any other women in my life. Did you think I was talking about someone else?β Just as quickly as it had come on, his joking demeanor vanished. βIn all seriousness though. Does she sound upset?β
I reread the message for a third time. βNo. She just wants to see us.β
βWell then!β Jackie clapped his hands together as he settled into the passenger seat of my car. βIt sounds like we have a pit stop before returning to Watson! Iβll have to get a gift for my girl.β
βYouβd better wait until weβre wrapped up with Wakako, Jackie, or Iβm going to shoot you.β
βI make no promises, V.β
who wants to kiss for three to five hours
More people should get into poly shipping. Both because polyamory is awesome and because it's really fun to make complicated ass diagrams

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step one: replace entire personality with open, festering wound
step two: contort absolutely all stimuli in my environment to relate to the my wound in some manner, ideally one which justifies random acts of unbridled aggression and vengeance
step three: marry a girl with generational wealth
Oh, the urge to make a fool of yourself in an in game chatroom just to make a pretty girl laugh...
rule 63 doorman β¦. or I guess ππ½β― πΉβ΄β΄ππβ΄ππΆπ
design is inspired by Waldorf Astoria bellperson uniform
awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like theyβre gone. itβs the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.
thatβs not the whole flag, now is it
hey staff what the fuck
hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose
HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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this is for a part-time job as a barista
on an application to work the front desk of a hotel
If minimum wage you'd like to make, This ancient quiz you'll have to take.
Step right up, but be prepared. Those who fail are poverty-snared. Question One! If your labor proves most fruitful, Raking quarters by the bootful, Who should excess profits reap, Me the wolf or you the sheep? Question Two! If, by merit, you're made pope, What will be your fervent hope? Law and order justly paired? Or mercy and the guilty spared?
Question Three! If a train should leave Topeka Driven by a solar squeaker, How then should the cat behave? Give it milk or give it grave? Question Four! Do you have a criminal record?