me: *sobbing in the woods*
The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.
me: *turns around* oh shit fr?

Origami Around
untitled
tumblr dot com
Xuebing Du

Love Begins


izzy's playlists!
sheepfilms
Keni
taylor price
EXPECTATIONS
occasionally subtle
art blog(derogatory)
macklin celebrini has autism
Jules of Nature
todays bird
almost home
Show & Tell

Discoholic 🪩

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@humanbeanisnotamused
me: *sobbing in the woods*
The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.
me: *turns around* oh shit fr?

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How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton
I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton 😏 " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?
Sorry but it's not complete without...
the problem is that lack of enrichment WILL turn you into the most abhorrent little gremlin bastard known to mankind and it's entirely on you to notice that ah, yes, it's been two months since you've seen anything other than your flat, your workplace, a friend if you're doing well, and the same three streets you walk every day. and then you just gotta sternly grab yourself by the scruff and go maybe take a beach/lake/forest day or visit an art gallery or whatever and then, respectfully, calm the ever-loving fuck down
my house is scary at night
Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

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how to cover letter:
polite greeting (it's me, boy)
introduction (i'm the ps5)
establish credentials (speaking to you inside your brain)
establish purpose (leave the girl, we don't need her)
describe what you can bring to the organization (cowboy times in space)
if you are from the united kingdom, do you know what apprenticeship was in the context of emancipation from chattel slavery?
yes
no
not from the uk
reblog for more responses please
if you are from the united kingdom, do you know what manumission was in the context of chattel slavery?
yes
no
not from the united kingdom
if you are from the united kingdom, do you know the details regarding reparations to involved parties in the emancipation proclaimation?
yes
no
not from the uk
a warthog is a thog specialized for use in war
rebecca black was right. It’s Friday

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you put those tags on this post where they belong
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
Oh my goodness you're my hero this is so beautiful
Holy fuck my job got fan art
hey. is this yours?
HOLY SHIT
In the midst of all of the Everything, I am so delighted that now every nerd convention has *multiple* fake Sams Reich wandering around roping cosplayers into impromptu Game Changers.
"#yes the plural of 'sam reich' is 'sams reich' like attorneys general"
ok so we are aware of the phenomenon of straight guys saying doing homoerotic things and the joke is wouldn’t it be funny if i was gay im not gay but wouldnt it be funny? and there is valid critique of this but personally i can’t get mad because it served as an in for me, a way to socially express homoeroticism as an out gay boy in an environment of straight boys. other gay people had different worse experiences and i don’t want to downplay it. anyway that’s not the point of this post the point is that non-foot fetishists do this with foot fetishism in exactly the same way straight men do this with homoeroticism
Everyone meet just a normal goose :)
Glad you guys like this totally normal goose!
I am making everyone remember normal goose
Well, I can not find the original separate post of this so I’m just going to tack these on here
Thank you @glitterdustcyclops !

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Típico de belgas malinois
#what if we gave a german shepherd meth? (via @madtomedgar)
stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household