I look for you in everyone I see.

Yes I like fictional characters a very normal amount. Don’t look at my blog.

DJ dubcon hopes everyone in the club is having a good time tonight but he’s not going to check

*getting too in the weeds of the worldbuilding of a horny tumblr post* Okay I get that you're saying princess, but honestly the dynamic you're describing here seems more like you want to be a duchess or even a lower noble

wow this pizza is great it's so good it's unreal *remembers the unreal engine is dogshit* I mean uh it's Source how good this pizza is

Domming a guy i hate and convincing him good puppies like to be named Hubert then getting his name legally changed to Hubert then ghosting him

bro shutup im trying to remember what i just said

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

okay im gonna hypnotize you with my ruby amulet now DONT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT. im doing this to make you betray the king. IT IS NOT A SEX THING

I think the fact that you immediately thought about clarifying it’s not a sex thing kinda makes it sound like it is a sex thing.

FOOL. i would be using my sex amulet for that

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

he didnt respond to my observation. just sorta stood there

... much like something else i know of

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad