Doe-eyed cryptid

If I was in a fanfiction and started coughing up flowers while working at a flower shop (because this is a flower shop au) I would NOT connect my crush on the tattoo artist next door to the flower cough situation. I would freak the fuck out and think the pollen at work was doing some Last of Us shit to me, quit my job and move FAR away. inadvertently my flame for the tattoo artist would fade with distance, solving my hanahaki situation and proving my 'the flowers were trying to turn me into a plant zombie' theory

bro just take my fucking job application without a cover letter. we're literally gonna be in a mega economic collapse, you're not gonna fucking read it anyways. do you really need some fucking fanfic about me working at your business?? what the fuck are we even doing right now??

Everything is embarrassing if you live your life through the eyes of others btw

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

sorry sir that is yassified information

writing your fave having sex with with their love interest is OUT writing your fave shamefully jerking off and coming pathetically fast at just the idea of fucking their love interest is IN

I hate that my mutuals are sad right now. I wish I could take away all of the horrors of life for every one of them