Untitled

Marilla Cuthbert’s iconic comebacks

This IS actually gonna ruin the movie theater industry. What Universal (and other movie studios, U is just the most vocal about it) wants to do is simultaneously release movies to theater and digitally. They want to have their cake and eat it too– get the profits from the cinematic experience of the theater while raking in the digital rentals. The exception they would make to this is blockbusters, which they would only release in theaters.

Now why is this a problem? It fucks over the movie theater, and thereby the movie theater consumer.

Movie theaters cannot exist on blockbusters alone. They need the steady stream of butts in seats throughout the year to keep going. As most of us have experienced, the prices of tickets and concessions have been climbing to keep theaters open in the face of digital streaming. The dual release would make those prices skyrocket. We’re talking $25+ a ticket. $100+ for a family of four, before tax or concessions.

“Well I won’t go to the movies, I’ll just stream from home.”

1. Not everyone can do that. Plenty of people don’t have reliable internet access and streaming/downloading isn’t an option for them.

2. We are teetering on the edge of another film industry oligarchy. In the old days of Hollywood, banks would buy up studios and movie theaters both, and shut out the indie competitor from showing their films at all. They then were able to hike up the price of a ticket because only certain theaters were connected to certain studios. So Studio “A” would only send their films to “A” Theaters, creating a false scarcity that drove up the price for the consumer. Also hella illegal. The film industry got monopoly busted hard, and now the studio and theater are purposefully kept separate.

In streaming services, we have an echo of that model. Studios are creating their own streaming services and vice versa (Disney+, Amazon Studios etc). One of the few things keeping them in check is the movie theater industry, which acts as an equalizer– all tickets cost the same, regardless if it comes from an indie studio or the Big Five. The second we lose theaters, the streaming services are going to jump in price, I guarantee it.

3. The theater isn’t just about the movie. It’s about the communal experience of going out with friends, family, strangers. Making a night out of sitting in a cool, dark room. Staring up at a giant screen, enraptured by the film for those 90 minutes. You don’t get that experience at home.

.

So what are the movie theaters doing? AMC, movie theater monopoly and my immortal enemy, has fired back at Universal– if they want to dual release, no AMC theater will show Universal films. Ever.

Universal has of course backtracked and said that they have no concrete plans to implement the dual release, they’re just thinking out loud, blah blah blah.

My mom asked me the other day to vacuum the doormat. I said yes. A few minutes went by. She asked again, worried I was not going to do it. I assured her that I was going to do it, just not immediately. And it indeed took me 5-10min to "close" (like one would close a tab or a file, but in my mind) what I was doing (reading something on my phone) before comfortably moving on.

I could have just paused my reading, done the vacuuming, and got back to my reading, but it felt more comfortable and natural to finish it and prepare myself for the upcoming task.

And it's like that with every little thing.

For instance, the one that prompted this post: I noticed my PC was out of battery and instead of immediately getting up to fetch the charger I sat there a few seconds, asking myself why I hadn't done it yet. And then I realized — it's not that I can't retrieve it, and it's not that I'm utterly lazy to the point of not wanting to get up either.

When I was younger I used to get hyperfocussed in my music and my sister thought it was hilarious to rip me out of it abruptly because of how I'd "overreact"

But it's like a mental switchboard?? If you've got a bunch of attention plugged in to a thing and you just rip all the plugs out at once, there's a bunch of power that needs to be dumped out to somewhere and that can literally and figuratively blow a fuse??

Spine: What is your favourite genre to read?

Comma: Who is your favourite character…. ever!?

Page: How do you get out of a book slump?

Library: What is one book that changed your views on a topic?

Words: What book made you love reading?

Typewriter: Have you ever cried over a book?

Letter: Who is your character crush?

Spelling: If you could be put into any universe, which would it be?

Bookstore: If you had a character written based on you, what would their personality and name be?

Grammar: What is the shortest period of time it has taken you to read a novel?

Scroll: What is your favourite weather to read in?

Printer: Why do you read?

Paperback: Strangest place you have read a book?

Hardcover: Least favourite book and why?

Bestseller: Who is your favourite author?

Binding: If you could give any book to a loved one, what would it be and why?

Chapter: Do you think reading is for everyone?

Blurb: How many books are you reading right now?

Cliffhanger: What book(s) are you reading currently?

Cover: Recommend a book for me?

Prologue: Describe the book you are currently reading using only emojis?

Epilogue: If you could rename any book, what would it be?

A present for Pippa was never too hard to find, even as a girl. If it was pink you were already most of the way there. If it had kittens on unicorns on as well, you were onto a winner. Hecate never had much after Indigo, but Mrs Cackle secretly gave her a small amount of pocket money and ‘Father Christmas’ gave her a present, which she knew was also her. Same as the anonymous birthday present she always got. All out of sympathy and perhaps guilt, Hecate thought, but Pippa’s gifts were the ones she really looked forward to. Always practical, always well thought out, and always including something totally silly and fun with it too. Now that they were adults Hecate expected it would pretty much be the same, just with more funds available now that they both were paid teachers. Also there was the fact that this would be their first Christmas as a couple, so the present needed to be notable and special as well as the fun gift.

Pippa however had no trouble thinking about what she would be giving Hecate, she’d got it and had been keeping it a secret for a little while now. She hoped Hecate would love it, of course she would. How could she not? The secondary gift was something she’d bought from the Ordinary world that was full of sentiment, and although Hecate would probably say it wasn’t relevant or indeed applicable, she hoped she’d see its importance to them.

With both schools breaking up for Christmas and all of the students collected by 20th December, they could spend the next few days together as well, which was heavenly but very hard on Pippa, who found it so hard to keep her present hidden. So much so that by Christmas Eve she couldn’t wait any longer. Sitting Hecate down on the sofa and taking her hands in hers, which immediately made her think there was a problem, she nervously looked at her.

“Pippa, whatever is wrong? You’ve been acting rather peculiar for a while now and perhaps I am imagining it, but you have seemed for less inclined to be.. intimate with me. If you have found someone else I would prefer you just say so.” Hecate dipped her head looking like that was obviously what was going on. Pippa thought for a moment but then sighed and nodded “Yes Hecate, there is someone else. There has been for a couple of months now, but I wanted us to have this one Christmas together because it’ll be the last one we will have...

.

.

.

By ourselves.”

Pippa, still holding Hecate’s hands, placed them on her own small baby bump that she’d been hiding until now.

“Merry Christmas, Hecate. I hope you like your present.”

Hecate cried, but they were tears of happiness and joy, not loss as she pulled Pippa carefully into her arms and held her. The entire day was spent pretty much that way, talking about their baby, thinking about the future and starting to make plans. So much so that Pippa almost forgot about the frivolous gift until it was time for bed. Drawing Hecate over to the large window she handed her an envelope to open. Inside was some sort of star chart with a certificate, although the name was missing on it.

“There’s this Ordinary thing where you can name a star, so I picked one that could always be seen from Cackle’s and Pentangle’s. The name is blank because I thought that we might name it after our child when he or she is born.”

Ginger Rogers was a FUCKING BADASS. Ignore for a sec the rampant sexism in Hollywood (they once bleached  her hair blonde in wardrobe without telling her beforehand), the fact that she fought her whole career against typecasting and stereotyping from fellow actors (Katharine Hepburn famously said of the Astaire/Rogers partnership “she gave him sex. He gave her class” ) for starting out in musicals, and went on to have a career lasting over fifty years, winning a Best Actress Oscar (Kitty Foyle, 1940). But… JUST focusing on the Astaire movies…

Not only did she dance “backwards” in high heels, the dances were a task in themselves. Astaire was an absolute perfectionist and choreographed for himself, so as a younger, less experienced dancer Rogers came in at a disadvantage and worked her ass off to match him. 

Then there’s the filming complications… these numbers were filmed in ONE TAKE. So one thing goes wrong and you have to start over. Maybe you make a mistake or maybe your dress flies up because…

Ginger had to contend with her wardrobe. Dancing in heels is the norm at this time, but dancing in a dress designed for cinema cameras… not so much. They were heavy, embellished, uncomfortable, restrictive and cumbersome and essentially a third member of the dance, strapped to the body of one partner.Not only did she have to dance and look good, she had to control the dress too!

Take this routine from Swing Time… (it gets going proper at 1:30ish)

This dress has weights, YES WEIGHTS, sewn in to the hem to make it fly out and create a visual effect. So it’s heavy, it hurts if it hits you, and your partner gets mad if it hits him. So you gotta control it. 

Well it turns out all these factors on this set, this particular day aren’t going so well. So you’re doing take after take, here’s no labour laws, so at 4am after 18 hours you’re still going, even though part of the routine requires you to spin up those curved stairs with no rail at high speed….

Okay so now back to those high heels. In Ginger’s autobiography she vividly remembers this night as the night she bled though her shoes. They did so many takes, her feet blistered, bled, and the white satin high heels she was wearing finished he night pink because they were literally full of blood. And still they keep shooting. She keeps dancing.

The take they use in the film is the last. Early hours. Bloody feet. And she spins, acts and bosses out until that last second. Because she was that professional, talented and bloody minded. This is the last set of spins… 

So I say once again. Ginger Rogers was a badass.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

HE HUGGED ME THE NEXT DAY.

WE HAVE NEVER HUGGED.

EVER.