Just a lil guy

@kittybroker how much for this absolutely famished little bean ?

Feed this hungry little baby for the low low price of only $3.89!

Do you want to deal with customers all day or do you want to dive deep into the ocean and perform dangerous repairs. Do you want to deal with school administrators and too many students or do you want to shake hands with the worst men youve ever met and be complicit in the destruction of the environment. Do you want to get naked in front of the internet for anyone to see or do you travel with an airline and be unable to settle down. And most importantly Do you wanna party

you can stay indoors all day when the sun is out, and sometimes it's nice like a cool draught from a tranquil spring, but watch out because if you stay indoors for two days in a row while the sun is out you start doing odd gothic literature things, stalking the halls and passages and muttering to yourself and parting the blinds to gaze down at your neighbours with a haunted look before turning away to contemplate your mannequins #yourmannequins. three days and you're basically fucked. you have to throw a towel over your head to scurry as far as the store for milk and people jeer at you like frankenstein's monster.

HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm

WHEN do you ever feel that

the worms yearn for escape

Every time I hear someone go, “they can just quit” I wanna mug them and explain, “you don’t actually have to give me your wallet; you can just get stabbed.”

given that this was a welding class, I was expecting this to end up so much worse

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.