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@unhingedtiktoks
Description: Tiktok from user pocketsizedprince. The caption says "crying because i meant to take a heartfelt video to show my first time swimming 8 weeks post top surgery & got this instead help." He gets in the pool and walks away, but his shorts balloon up, making it look like he has a massive ass.
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when I tell u I had to scroll a week back in my twitter likes to find this video bc I genuinely couldn’t sleep until I did
Audio description: A quick, pig-like snort every time the seal opens its mouth. It pauses, then the snorts are slightly more boisterous.
this is inexplicably my favorite tiktok ever it brings me to tears every time why did he do thatttt
Description: Tiktok from user flambothedog. An Australian Shepherd walks over to communication buttons and hits the one that says "see." His human says "See what?" The dog stares at her unblinking for about 15 seconds until she starts giggling, and he walks over to her.
Description: Tiktok from user turtle_time47. It's a video of a young woman sitting on a bed talking to her brother, who is off-screen.
Sister: Alright, my brother has something to say today so take it away brother!
Brother: I have nothing else to do except bitch about how my love life sucks so that's why I'm here.
Sister: Okay.
Brother: You know my first ex was a serial cheater?
Sister: I guess?
Brother: She cheated on me with my homeboy and then they sent me a video.
Sister: Who filmed the video?
Brother: What?
Sister: Who filmed it?
Brother: Why would I know that?
Sister: Because someone had to be sitting in the cuck chair-
Brother: No no woah woah hold on hold on- what??
Sister: Cuz someone had to be sitting in the cuck chair while they're filming it, unless they set up the camera and it was like a pre-recorded thing, but in that case, why were they doing it? Unless it was a secret creeper who was filming it, in which case that's a crime. (finger guns) How old were you when this relationship happened?
Brother: What the fuck does any of that- what??
Sister: I don't know, just wondering.
Brother: H- first of all, that's not even what cucking is. Second of all-
Sister: I didn't say they were cucked, I said they were sitting in the cuck chair.
Brother: There is no cuck chair in this situ- what??
Sister: Then... who was filming it? That's all I wanna know.
Brother: Why would I know that?
Sister: (shrugs)
Brother: Forget me, just whining about shit, that's not even like... what??
Sister: But that's what I want to know!
Brother: That's your takeaway? Not "oh my gosh, my poor brother, he doesn't deserve to go through that," not "well fuck the girl who did that-"
Sister: Your love life is none of my business!
Brother: You could've been like "I'm sorry that happened, fuck the girl who did that to you," it's (mocking voice) "oh who's filming it oooh?"
Sister: (nods)
Brother: That's your takeaway? No support? No "I'm sorry that happened, would you like a hug?"
Sister: I'm not hugging you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Description: Tiktok from user sashaandmaddie. The person in the passenger seat says "Where are you taking me for my birthday?"
The guy driving says "It's a surprise, I'm not telling you! And don't look at the directions either, I don't want you to know."
The GPS voice says "Starting route to Fortnite sex convention."
The driver screams "Fuck!"
Description: Tiktok from user marleyinbrighton. They're walking across the street and say "God I'm so hungry." The person behind the camera says "What are we gonna eat?"
They say "What, you think there's gonna be a giant sign that tells us what to eat?" They stop walking in front of a restaurant sign that says "pussy."
Description: Tiktok from user kateburning. She says "If you're in your 30s and you don't have at least a quarter million dollars in your 401K you have to listen to this." She holds up an orange Persian cat and says "meow" repeatedly, bouncing the cat around.
Description: Tiktok from user psychnursecyd. She says "I'm watching this non-medical TV show and this guy walks into this girl's apartment, it's like the first time he's been in there, and he sees like a medication sitting on a shelf, and like the girl's not in the room so he goes over and picks it up, and it like briefly shows the medication and the music gets all dark and moody. Then the girl walks back into the room and sees that he's holding the medication and she gets like all freaked out, and he's sad and he looks at her and goes 'My sister was on this medication. She had cervical cancer. What do you have?'
And the scene gets all sad and depressing and she looks at him, and like looks away, and she doesn't answer the question, but her facial expression makes it seem like it's something really bad. And he goes 'How long do you have?' and she's like 'The doctors gave me six months.' And he just looks down and goes 'You're gonna beat this!' Just sad, ok? She truly has cancer.
You wanna know what the medication was? Little old odansetron. Zofran!" She laughs. "Why are we jumping to worst case scenario? My girl's nauseous!"
Description: Tiktok from user xteresahx. The video shows a middle-aged man smiling in a restaurant with a brownie. The caption says "me buying my dad a brownie after he paid my studies and rent abroad for 4 years." The audio is from the musical 21 Chump Street, a man singing: "I don't want your money, I got this just for you. Keep your-"
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Description: Tiktok from user sketchiest3. The caption says "Trump talking to his younger self." He kneels on the ground to make himself look short, with the label "Kid trump." He says in as childish voice "Did we- did we do it? Did we become president? Did we ever do a movie? Did we become a billionaire?"
It switches to him wearing a tie with the label "Trump." Doing a Trump impression, he says "I'm gonna touch you."
Description: Tiktok from user "aesthetic.audy". The caption says "when the newborn kitten i brought home is trying to convince my cat he's chill." It shows a video of a tabby cat looking at a tiny black and white kitten, looking somewhat nervous. The audio is a man saying "Oh my god hello?" It shows several clips of the kitten walking clumsily, meowing while getting a bath, and playing with the human. The audio has a high pitched voice awkwardly saying "Hello, it's me Crewmate. I am the good guy on the spaceship... that complete all the task. My goal is to complete all task before the imposter try to... destroy everyone." At the end it shows a picture of the kitten trying to climb into a plastic bag.
this reply made me laugh harder than any reply I think I've ever gotten
How did they find the worst audio ever made
"surely an exaggeration" i thought, before hearing the worst audio ever made
Every time I run into this I think "surely it's not as bad as I remember and as people are saying" and then I play it and then I regret because somehow it's worse
audio description: the song "attention" by charlie puth but the pitch erratically fluctuates throughout each verse and most of the lyrics are incomprehensible. near the end of the video there is some random loud percussion and clapping.
Description: Tiktok from user g_seditious. The caption says "you are not crazy." He says "And I just come to the realization that I'm not crazy, I'm not depressed, I don't hate myself or my life, I was just born into capitalism."
Description: Tiktok from user beautifulfridge. She says "Okay, on a completely real note, like I just hate the propaganda that every fucking lesbian's a man-hating lesbian, like we're not all like that. I mean I am, but I'm sure like somebody out there isn't?"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Description: Tiktok from user nnichetony. The caption says "cheesy michael egg prank." The guy behind the camera says "Today I'm gonna be pranking Cheesy Michael with this egg, so that when he opens his door it smashes on the floor and ruins his life." He places the egg on top of the door knob. Another person sings "Cheesy Michael open up the door, oh cheesy Michael open up the door" to the tune of Sinking Town by Yoeko Kurahashi. They continue to sing while the guy behind the camera monotonely says "Cheesy Michael" eighteen times. Cheesy Michael never opens the door or shows any signs of existing.
Description: Tiktok from user sagethehaus. He says "If you can't cry over spilled milk, what the hell can you cry over, hm? When people say don't cry over spilled milk, what they're telling you to do is don't feel your feelings, and those kinds of people need to be stopped, so the next time someone tells you that about the milk thing, shoot them."
