Speaking of bad luck and trouble

i cannot hate myself into a version of me i will love.

i cannot punish myself in any way that will unmake the past.

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

I think as your job satisfaction gets lower and lower you should gain access to an increasingly broad and powerful suite of forbidden magic

Hilary Knight could eat Claude Giroux for breakfast and don’t let anyone tell you different.

[COMPLETELY LOVESICK VOICE] she is so strange. And off-putting

if u think about it copacabana was like the pumped up kicks of 1978

just found out i can enter buildings without asking if i just drive my maserati through the front door. weve never been so back

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in

what’s the pink they put in pink lemonade that makes it so poppin

that’s pussy babe!

sorry for being a hater i want to be a lover but everything pisses me off