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@undisclosedmadness
How I be moving lately

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incredible innovations on the beverage front
Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.
He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"
"What?"
He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"
"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."
Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.
Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.
#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty
Behold, Dorothea
(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)
I should also add- I ran into my rabbi and explained the situation. I then asked, earnestly, if there was a remedy. A mikveh of sorts, or a beit din, or something.
He turned to me, sighed, and said in a very deadpan tone-- "Plants don't have covenants, Joy,"
So Dorothea's a free agent according to rabbinic opinion. I guess I'll permit her to be Roman Catholic.

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I love you guys but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.
You’re right. We should all band together under a trustworthy and influential leader who can keep us safe from outside threats
*genuinely absorbed zero information* got it
kurtis conner video: This Conservative Influencer is Crazy
drew gooden video: The us governments obsession with integrating ai into every facet of our daily lives is going to bring about the collapse of society if we don’t get of our ass and start taking action
danny gonzalez video: Buying Food on Ebay
eddy burback video: I did the russian sleep experiment for a month
you put those tags on this post where they belong
gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

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My lord I need you to make up your mind, where the fuck are we going
my lord i think we're lost
my lord????
*wheezing* please....My Lord....I just caught up
My Lord COME BACK?!
MY LORD?? there is no way I can follow you there!
...all right My Lord [SIGH] I guess I will just have to trust you
my lord i WARNED you-
@sarumans
Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things
Very suspicious of people stealing his tail

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what they DONT tell you about clarinets is that you have to fucking build the damn thing every single time. "what instrument do you play" fucking legos man idk
about build clarinets damn do DONT every fucking fucking have idk instrument is legos man play" single tell that the they thing time. to what "what you you you
I really need to start reading the blog name because I thought I was having some sort of moment right there.
this lifetime is very bizarre and then youre not even supposed to also be bizarre. Ok