unconditional caretaker

He/him or she/her, androsexual (inclusive of pretty much anyone who identifies/presents as masc). I am 27, working as a digital designer and moonlighting as an artist and writer. Whump, hurt/comfort, and dacryphilia are at the heart of my life and my sexuality. I am wildly protective and dominant. My main is @thewhumpcaretaker. But I wanted to get more personal. This is a space to get to know me. Here you will find:

Dreams ✦ Vents and Journal Entries ✦ FTM Experiences ✦ OCD Experiences ✦ C-PTSD Experiences ✦ Experiences with Limerence ✦ Cluster B Positivity ✦ Male Body Positivity ✦ Politics ✦ Art ✦ Hornyposting (My Kinks Listed Here) ✦ Poetry (Masterlist Here)

Asks and DMs are welcome! I love to hear from people who've had similar experiences or just want to say hi. I love to give compliments. I also open myself up to flirting, especially if you're interested in being comforted, praised, or showered with romance. Let's have fun together. However, you must NOT be anon for flirty/NSFW asks, because I want to see your age. I am only interested in people in my age range - 21 to 35. And be aware that I am polyamorous, if that matters to you. Thanks for understanding!

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

PFP Image Credit: Johan Barrios, untitled.

There was a time when I would have responded patiently, but at this point I'm done. I referred to your post as harassment. Yes, I jokingly said "asks are on" and turned anon off, but that was to point out that you shouldn't be doing this if you don't want to put your regular username to what you're saying. To go as far as to make a burner account and discuss the same topic again that way is tantamount to block evasion. I will block you here, but honestly this scares me to the point that I no longer consider this account safe. You could easily just make another one and leave comments even if my asks are turned off, so my only real option is just to log out permanently. I am going to do that, because this is stalking behavior which is escalating, and you say you have tried to goad people into suicide before.

I also want to state that I have never, EVER, either publicly or on anon or anywhere within myself, wished suicide on the people who write things I disagree with. That is a horrific level of bullying. It's wonderful that you grew from that type of controlling mindset (or you say you have, and yet you're still on my blog deliberately bothering me about a topic that triggers me? very strange), but this has nothing to do with me. I have never so much as left a comment on a fic related to those topics. CSA was originally brought up on my blog over a year ago because I was asked directly about my opinions surrounding pro/ship an/ti discourse (terms which I dislike for lack of nuance anyway) and in particular, someone's potential fic idea. I gave my honest opinion that it was a bad thing to write and that I personally would feel bad within my own moral system about writing such a thing. I am not going to lie about that, nor am I going to consider myself "impaired" enough to need morally capable friends to like…check me on it?? Which, by the way, I have actually talked to real life friends who don't have OCD, all of whom said that I was being perfectly reasonable and none of whom think it is great to write uncritical child pornography. Like yes, live and let live and I'm not going to do anything to those authors nor do I want them to die or want the government to regulate it, but I think that it is not a great thing to do. That is my stance, which I think is pretty neutral. I don't know why it is so crucial to you that I change my mind on that point and/or that I doubt myself so deeply over it that I give control of my life over to other people who happen to agree more with your viewpoint. That will not be happening.

The first step is to accept that if you have this condition, your sense of morality is objectively skewed, just like if you have schizophrenia, the demons and disembodied voices you may see and hear are not objectively real. Continuing to defend as right and correct what you objectively realize are perceptions skewed by a mental health condition is a roadblock to treatment and management of that condition.

Maybe I should have let that man grope my friend last week and watched her cry over it and not so much as politely take him aside after class and ask him to apologize, hmm? Maybe when he kept making sexual comments afterwards, I should've advised her to keep taking it instead of supporting her in talking to the university admin about ways to keep them separated? Maybe it shouldn't matter to me that I was sexually abused either? Maybe I shouldn't bother checking up on the kids who still live with my rapist? Or maybe it's the other way? Maybe I shouldn't feel bad that I made abusers feel bad at certain points in my life? Maybe I'm too meek and not a real ally to other survivors? Maybe I should let other survivors do literally anything they want - including my own abusers, one of whom is also a survivor? Maybe I just can't tell when it comes to these things? Maybe I can't decide things like that for myself, huh, because my brain is too broken? Maybe I shouldn't be allowed to vote or participate in religion or discuss morality or discuss literature? Maybe I should hire a conservator to make my decisions for me? Maybe I should be institutionalized? Maybe you'd like to never have to think about the fact that none of us are morally secure, none of us know what is "right," and the "common sense accepted by society" is a pretty poor measure of that? Maybe you'd like morality itself to just be a hallucinatory demon? Maybe you'd like everyone who has ever made you or anyone else reflect on their actions to just go away forever? Should I do that? Would that help? My asks are open.

Leo Tolstoy: One of the greatest purposes art can have is to unite people through universal feelings…

Leo Tolstoy: …like the universal feeling of pleasure we get from looking at little abstract ornamentation on the edge of plates and tablecloths! That’s one of the highest types of art! ^_^