Zippy Zippy

people who do a PhD are running from something

Yeah it’s called a 9-to-5

dino saurs were not scary monsters they were mamas with eggs and when they drank water they were like fuckk yessss waterrrr

I hate the king and I hate the thief and I'm glad they die constantly in Mobile ads

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

pluto (the celestial body) told me that it’s actually kind of upsetting how much you guys insist on her being a planet. she says it feels like you don’t like her for who she is and you’d prefer an imagined version of her instead. what’s so terrible about being a dwarf planet, she asked me. does she have to be a “real” planet to be worthy of love?

Lets let friday get us pregnant and have a baby that lasts the whole weekend

Let's get friday afternoon pregnant with saturday morning

no one has ever survived having a crush. scientists don’t believe it can be done