normal boy

i'm a lot like if a guy had a tight wet pussy and was right about everything all the time and was also a faggot

the fortune teller just drew the ten of pregnant werewolves card, which could mean nothing,

"they've had intercourse" "i know that i'm asking if they've kissed"

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation with the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

"Blorbo from my shows" no. Blorbo from my BA. Blorbo from my major. Blorbo from my primary source document.

@birdwizardofficial

Thank you for the offering of a bird!

parents around the globe are listening to some shit loud as fuck on the Tv

obsessed w how none of these are the real origin of the phrase

Uhhhh let me be queer

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds

*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,

obsessed with whatever the opposite of "the author's poorly disguised fetish" is. Like something that was explicitly drawn as a fetish but it's so niche and strange that it wraps back around into being a masterpiece of surrealism that transfixes and enchants you even though personally you can't imagine sexually getting off to it anymore than you could imagine eating a granite boulder

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)