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Artist: moreloveforjm_ on ig

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Shane would have a thing for coaches, and esp corruption/forbidden/being forced (this feels safe/weirdly fine to him bc coaches are straight. Until Wiebe, that feels very weird for Shane to know). Ilya has the other kind of male figure thing…
trophy room this buttplug that.. i'm most excited for the scene where shane goes Full Bitch mode and accuses ilya of being content with being a loser smoking weed after every centaurs game
shane comes home from a long day and just wants to cuddle but he's home all alone. he gets a pile of his plushies and places them all around him. he holds ilyabear though right to his face and suckles on the bears little snout.
Ilya is used to carrying babies and small children in his arms. Because he used to hold his niece in his arms (though that became less frequent with each summer he went back to Russia) and he's babysat the Pikelings a handful of times now, so yes he knows to support a baby's head and can carry around a toddler no problem.
Cue Ilya making a rare appearance at Bood's Barbeque because it's the team's chance to meet little Milo for the first time. Everyone congratulates the parents and oohs and aaws at Milo. Cue Bood asking "anyone want to hold him?"
And Ilya is the first to volunteer, already reaching out his hands. And Bood, like any new parent, starts the "Alright here we go, now be careful to support the head-" only to trail off because Ilya does not need any help. For some strange reason, Ilya fucking Rozanov is a pro at holding a baby, murmuring to him in Russian swaying him softly in his arms.
The Groupchat ("CenBros NO CAP") goes wild because how the fuck is Rozy so good with babies. And then one of the rookies is like "maybe he has a baby??" and at first everyone scoffs because, hello. This is Ilya Rozanov we're talking about.
On second thought, though.
Ilya did move to Ottawa seemingly out of nowhere.
He did buy a house in the suburbs.
He is strangely secretive about who he's texting all the time.
He is skipping almost every team event.
Suddenly it all makes sense. Ilya has a girlfriend (wife??) and he moved to Ottawa for her so that they could raise their child together. And of course he's almost never attending a team outing or leaving early, he has a child at home! Of course he's secretive about it, Ottawa or not he's still Ilya fucking Rozanov, papped every second day. It only makes sense that he'd want to protect the identiy of his girlfriend (wife??) and child.
The final piece of evidence is overheard by Holmberg and Young on a random Thurday after practice. Ilya clearly hasn't noticed them as he walks to his car, a fond smile on his face and obviously focused on his phone call. "Goodnight, I miss you very much. I will be home soon", he says. It's followed by laughter and Ilya adding that "Yes, of course is necessary! I have been away all day, my daughter must hear me say goodnight to her."
Holmberg and Young (standing next to Young's car and therefore hidden from Ilya's view) stare at each other with open mouths and wide eyes. Because holy fucking shit Rozy just confirmed he has a daughter?? And based on the conversation also a girlfriend/wife??
Meanwhile Shane, who patiently sat next to where Anya was curled up on the couch with his phone on speaker so that Ilya could tell her goodnight, is happily talking with Ilya about what to cook for dinner.

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Tuna melt au where Shane starts freaking out and so to distract him Ilya is like "I got the marble imported from Turkey, custom cut by a local contractor here in Boston" and Shane wants to have a freak out but he's always wondered about the quality of marble from Turkey, he got his counters from Italy and China but he saw options from Turkey and Brazil and wondered. He really should go, but now he's wondering if Ilya will answer his other questions like who was the architect that built this house and where did ilya find that tile that's in his guest bathroom. Basically Ilya using Shane's real estate fetish to keep him from running out during the tuna meltdown.
I think that genuinely would have worked in the sense that the utter insanity of the segue would shock Shane out of his panic attack.
Like he’s just cum, his brain is soup, the beast of heteronormativity is breathing down his neck, and he says,
‘I can’t. I can’t do this.’
and Ilya just replies
‘The light fixtures in the kitchen were imported from a designer in Spain.’
….
….
‘What?’
and now he’s so confused he can’t possibly leave.
Ilya Rozanov voice NEVER LET EM KNOW YOUR NEXT MOVE…
So anyway, let’s talk about what happens when Shane finds out that Wiebe is bisexual.
Because during The Long Game, Ilya decides not to tell Shane because it’s not his secret to tell, and Shane has to find out eventually, right? Wiebe says something like “I’m sure Ilya has told you that I understand a little bit about your situation.” And Shane is thinking like, what, you definitely don’t, you were a mid player at your absolute best. But eventually Wiebe gets the point across and it goes, I think, one of a couple different ways:
One: Shane HATES this information and tries to memory hole it immediately. Shane has had a complicated psychosexual attachment to every hockey coach he’s ever had, which is fine because hockey coaches are straighter than God. Even though both Shane and Wiebe are in happily married monogamous relationships, finding out that it’s actually hypothetically possible for a coach to experience reciprocal attraction to him is the worst thing that’s ever happened.
Two: Finding out that Wiebe is bisexual pushes Shane over the edge into having a meta-textual breakdown. Shane: “It’s fucking ridiculous. It’s absurd! We’re already the gayest team in the league. The gay married team. And now we have a gay coach?” Ilya: “Lubimiy, he is bisexual, do not make me ask Harris to give another PowerPoint presentation on bisexual erasure.”
Three: Shane pours over stats from Detroit’s 2001 season and figures out who Wiebe’s teammate was in less than 60 minutes.
Another option would seriously fuck Shane up bc it would remind him of how easy it was to fail and how close he and Ilya came to failing and how the system is set up to fail anyone who happens to be in a similar situation and how they still prevailed.
shane would be a peeping tom and he would be so good at it
idk if you’ve ever watched may/december but charles melton in that is very much tradwife shane vibes To Me
i LOOOOOOOVE that movie. you're so correct too. very much that realizing hey maybe what happened to me was fucked up but not wanting to admit it
this has me howling

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..........and is there a mr communication?
goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day
16 year old Shane getting flustered from a chirp from a very attractive hockey player he’s facing off against . But then the guy misses a really easy goal & Shane gets the ick so bad it shoves him back into the closet for another year
Ilya making a ligma joke to Cliff when they meet up for the first time since Ilya goes to Ottawa. Cliff chokes up & is like bro. These rooks just don’t make me laugh like you do broski.
it’s not always attainable for people but my god… the fantasy of cumming at exactly the same time is a big one for me. especially picturing it for Hookup era Hollanov… the first time it happens during missionary is fucking Spiritual and both of them fully lose themselves in it, hearts completely bared and open… Only for them to completely and immediately ignore and deny to themselves how raw and real it felt….

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Crucially Ilya doesn’t remember any of the truly traumatic Irina memories until he’s retired from hockey and finally slows down enough that his mind catches up to his body and he’s getting flashbacks and retching over the toilet bowl and shaking and crying and then going completely numb and dissociative and Shane is like Hey sweetheart What The Fuck is Happening
Thinking about Shane learning the Russian words for ‘my little bear’ because Ilya’s so large and imposing but so soft and his hair is so fluffy- but he also delights in knowing he can use it on Ilya to needle at him and sweetly annoy him. He can imagine Ilya’s faux-irritated brow crease, followed by wrestling Shane into the couch to prove he’s no little bear- he’s a grizzly bear who’s going to eat Shane for breakfast…
So he works to get the pronunciation down, and finally springs it on him one day when Ilya’s just come in from the lake, hair air dried and floofy and he’s all open limbs and soft edges.
The moment the words fill the space, Ilya goes silent, and tears start to fall. Shane panics, and closes the gap between them to hold his husband close with a crushing grip.
‘What’s wrong? Did I not do it right? Did I say something bad?’
Ilya stays quiet for a moment, trying to control the inevitable break in his voice when he speaks. When it comes out, it’s wet, and wounded, like blood seeping out the mouth of an injured animal.
‘No, no. It’s ok- my mama, she-’ another small sob. ‘She used to call me that. I have not heard it in a very long time.’
Shane knows he doesn’t need to reply, or to fill the following lull.
He just needs to stand there. Solid and unyielding.
Arms a vice around Ilya’s torso, large hands stroking down the damp skin of his back. Soothing kisses pressed like a comforting brand to his temple, his cheeks, his eyes. Urging the tears to flow because they need to. Loving his man exactly how he needs to be loved.