AKA perimenOFMD

invented a new word today. its 'plagiarism'. im a genius i know

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

#ow

#stuck

Your least most recent emoji predicts how your summer will end

🚗

hi besties in my phone. i hope today is so so good to you. i hope something special happens to remind you that it’s not always bad. ily.

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

(affectionate)

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

i wouldn't have to deal w all of this if i was a tree

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

Okay but who's the one human actor playing?

Can I just say I really appreciate that our collective commitment to the Muppets is so strong that at 120-something votes, not one person has chosen other/vanilla extract?

Circe - only human in the film, played by Anne Hathaway! - turning the pig muppet crew into humans and Miss Piggy gasping "You monster!"

love the library. there's no risk. you can take out a book and go "wow this sucks" and just give it back. and when you do that you're still making the library's Number Go Up so you'll be able to roll the dice on even more books. all for the low low price of free/you already paid for it with your tax money so you might as well use it

we used to turn the tv on and just watch whatever was on there

Yes, it was frequently The Simpsons.

{ID - Grandpa from the Simpsons, talking to a group of kids END ID}