TurtleShell

It's no secret that YLJLH was incredibly personal for me - and as such, the endings changed as time went on.

Ending 1 - Toxic "HEA" in Tom's POV

In my first, original outline of YLJLH (which I initially thought would only be like 10 chapters or so lmao what happened), this was going to end in Tom's POV. There was no winter mansion, Draco was going to break into the Little Hangleton home, and it would have ended in Tom's victory, some sick inner monologue while he fucked Hermione lololol.

Ending 2 - Tom killing Hermione and Crookshanks

In the middle of writing YLJLH, I experienced a devastating breakup from the person who loosely inspired Tom to begin with. And it felt like I had died. So this ending changed to something quite horrific and gruesome and tragic, a murder-suicide which also resulted in the death of Crooks.

Ending 3 - Hermione killing Tom

After some time, this then changed because I was pissed and angry and filled with hate and in my revenge fantasy, had Hermione freeing herself from her imprisonment and brutally killing Tom.

Ending 4 - Bellatrix POV, but pining after Tom

After some more time, this changed again to something that closely resembles the actual ending of YLJLH, but instead, Bellatrix pines after Tom, waiting for him in the afterlife. I wanted it to showcase the toxicity of love, how pathetic it can be, how it haunts you even after death, how it blinds you even after abuse.

Ending 5 - The Final Ending

When it came time to write the ending, I realized I hated Ending 4. I hated it so, so, so much because it felt so bleak, but not in a way that was beautifully heartbreaking. I also hated what it seemed to suggest, not just for myself, but for other women. Will we never be able to move on? Will we never get our closure and resolution? So, it changed and it ended on something that I believe wasn't just the "right" ending, but the perfect one for this fic.