Musings

In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.

Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.

What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.

The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.

And how so many of them share the same vocabulary, like "Freshmen" and "Sorority" and "FBI"

Hey guys this is my AmeriVerse OC, his name is Tanner Michaels and he is a Senior in a Frat House at Townsville College- Go Tigers!

His girlfriend Amanda has a cheerleading scholarship and is the Vice President of her sorority, and is so good at Hazing Freshies!

Campus Police are always trying to ruin his good time, but he knows he can count on his good friends Hunter and Cooper to secure him some Illegal Marijuana 😉

This year, he's telling his parents Mark and Joanne that he's going skiing with Amanda and her parents- little do they know, he is spending Spring Break in Mexico with his Boys!

But wait- what's that? Crime Scene Investigation Federal Agents Chris Smith and Jack James, here to investigate an Urban, Inner-City Terrorism?

Sorry Tanner, it looks like Hunter and Cooper are going to be Living La Vida Loca without you THIS time. Special Agents Smith and James are sending YOU to Marine Fighter Boot Camp, to become the perfect Spring Break Special Agent!

Will Tanner be able to get his act together in time to Protect and Serve under His Nation's Best And Brightest? Or will he Fail to Protect the Greatest Country On Earth?

This April, watch Agent Spring Break!