doing the best that i can

Oh, no, my non-involvement with Black art is because I'm not Black. Black people have gone long enough dealing with appropriation and people like me (non-Black) have taken up enough Black spaces enough. So really, I'm actually doing a good thing by non listening to Black music, watching Black movies, reading books by Black authors.

No, you see, trans people are so chronically fetishized and belittled that it's normal for me to feel suspicious and wary to see trans people in sexual contexts, intimate contexts, nudes, artwork, etc. It would be best in fact if I did not engage in erotic or romantic works involving trans people at all.

Someone in your friend group is REALLY excited that a popular artist just release a new song or album? Now's not the time to crush them by telling them how much you think that artist is overrated and that anyone who listens to them just doesn't know any real music. They're not hurting anyone, why make them feel bad or dumb just for being happy and excited?

Your co-worker tries to share something positive they read in the news, such whatever country you live in now has lower rates of alcoholism, or more trees than ever were planted last year in re-forestation efforts? Ask if yourself if it's necessary to "yeah, but" their positive news with a spin on making it negative. Is that helping at all or serving any purpose? In a lot of cases it's not helpful or necessary.

What do you really have to gain from crushing someone's excitement or attempts at being positive? Ask yourself what your real intentions are. Ask yourself if you actually have anything worthwhile to gain outside of crushing someone who was excited or trying to be positive.

Me: entering Japanese cat café. employee stops me immediately. Employee: One rule. Me: Okay. Employee: Orange cat bites people from France. Me: I'm not French. Employee: Good. I sit down, cats everywhere, peaceful, adorable, therapeutic. then gigantic orange cat jumps onto table, built like retired wrestler. Cat staring at me aggressively. Employee watching nervously from distance.

Me: I thought he only hated French people. Employee: He improvises. cat slowly pushes my drink off table while maintaining eye contact. Me (in all caps: This is targeted small child nearby points at cat. Child: That one evil. Employee: No no, He just passionate. cat suddenly climbs onto my lap, starts purring violently. Me: …wait he likes me? Employee shocked. Employee: Impossible.

another worker comes over, then another, entire staff now observing me like chosen prophet. Manager arrives. Manager: He has never trusted customer before. Me: What does that mean. Manager bows slightly. Manager: You must take him. Me (in caps): Take him where. orange cat already asleep on me. Employee quietly bringing adoption papers. Me (in caps): I came here for coffee. End description.]

I stared at them through the dawning realization that they lived in a world where that was remotely possible. “My phone is on do not disturb if I’m sleeping. Why would I let random texts wake me up? My sleep is important.”

Equally baffled they replied, “What if someone at work needs you?”

“I am not a manager. No one at work will ever need me badly enough to interrupt my sleep. If I’m not working then there’s no reason to be calling me.”

“Not even if you need to cover?”

I laughed, “I don’t need to cover. They could ask me to cover but good luck getting ahold of me if I’m sleeping.”

They looked distressed at this idea.

To console them I added, “I have important people like my mom and my wife set to override. If they call they get through no matter what.”

There was a small pause before they asked, “You can do that…?”

In 2021, Swarovski (the company that makes the very sparkly crystals you see in certain jewelry, on figure-skaters' twinkliest outfits, on red carpet dresses), decided they didn't want the grubby fingers of small-time jewelers, clothing designers and costumers and crafters on their shiny beads and rhinestones anymore. They decided to limit their sales to "luxury" and couture creators, not girls who sell stuff on Etsy. The tenor of their press release on the subject was snide and insulting. Resellers (like your favorite bead shop) would no longer be allowed to carry their product; the average Jane on the street would not be able to purchase them. You could only get them if you had an authorized business agreement that bound you to very strict brand behavior. And those of us who still had good stock of the crystals would no longer be "permitted" to use the brand's name in our listings for sale.

Every bead shop and craft supply place and many, many small clothing makers--wedding shops, prom and dancing dress suppliers, the sort of salt of the Earth mom and pop time machines of shops that are the backbone of the field--scrambled to find something that could replace them. The last of the stock dwindled quickly, all of us grabbing what we could get while there was any chance of it, and then it was gone and we no longer had any access.

I was Big Pissed about it at the time. It was just so goddamn stuck-up, when wholesalers and indie jewelers had made them so much money, when some people I knew--when *I!*--had been brand-loyal for decades. But with no recourse, everyone pivoted fairly quickly, most of us to Preciosa Crystals. Those are Czech, quite sparkly, and considerably less expensive than Swarovski. The faceting method they use is different, but not worse; any differences are hardly noticeable when you're seeing them as a hundred pinpoints of light.

Well, out of nowhere, Swarovski just dropped this: https://www.harmanbeads.com/swarovski-brand-policy-update

"Effective June 1, 2026, Swarovski updated the distribution and brand usage policies introduced in 2021. Businesses may now purchase Swarovski Crystals without signing a Brand Control Agreement, and Authorized Distribution Partners may once again sell Swarovski Crystals to resellers, including bead stores and online retailers. Businesses may also use the Swarovski brand name when following Swarovski’s Proper Use Guidelines. Designers, manufacturers, artists, brands, retailers, and resellers are now eligible to purchase Swarovski Crystals through authorized distribution channels."

They want us back. A lot of the companies who could have kept a brand relationship with them also have swapped to Preciosa, over the last half-decade, in solidarity with indie creators and out of a sour awareness that it could be them, next. And it doesn't hurt that Preciosa was able to expand their line quite a bit now that everyone who wanted sparkle had no choice but to go to them.

And I'm not seeing nearly anyone who intends to return. The feeling is, "Y'all told us to fuck off! Off we fucked! And now, that's what you can do, too!" I'm seeing a lot of "How many of us did you stab in the back?" comments from the people whose money they're hoping to attract.

so many responses of “its nice that you’re privileged enough to be able to steal from Target willy nilly!” and that’s not at all what this is about. like, yeah, shoplifting and loitering and graffiti and breaking the rules is, obviously, part of “do crime”. but they’re not parts you have to do.

would you help someone get an abortion where it was illegal?

would you help a trans friend get healthcare that had been criminalized?

would you shelter someone fleeing persecution, even if the law said not to?

would you help a gay couple stay together when the state decided their relationship was unlawful?

instead, would you report someone else for breaking the law? will you snitch on your hungry neighbors for stealing food? on your homeless neighbors for sleeping where they’re able?

By definition you can't accidentally queerbait. Queerbaiting is specifically using a same sex pair from the show to market the show to queer audiences with no intention of ever following through on a romantic relationship.

There is officially licensed Destiel merch signed off on by Kripke. Teen Wolf had a commercial with the actors for Derek and Stiles draped over each other talking about being "on a ship." Both shows actively used scenes between them as marketing while actively mocking fans for wanting them together. Sherlock has multiple characters refer to Johnlock as a couple, including characters we're supposed to believe are never wrong about human behavior and pushed those scenes in marketing. Then they acted insulted when fans saw them as a couple.

That's queerbaiting.

Done on accident it would just be queer subtext. Done because they had no other choice due to censorship is queer coding.

The specific meaning of the word is really starting to get lost and it's a pretty important one to keep accurate. It describes a very specific phenomenon that was done repeatedly and maliciously for decades and is meant to examine that specifically.