turnthrice

Fire Paintings Draws With Flames And Soot  by Steven Spazuk

More info: spazuk.com | Youtube | Facebook

Steven Spazuk is a Canada-based artist who uses candle soot to create elegant drawings. After depositing soot on his media with a candle or torch, he etches lines and patterns in the soot with  pencils and feathers.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into distrusting his or her own memory and perceptions. Gaslighting is an insidious form of abuse. It makes victims question the very instincts that they have counted on their whole lives, making them unsure of anything. Gaslighting makes it very likely that victims will believe whatever their abusers tell them regardless as to their own experience of the situation. Gaslighting often precedes other types of emotional and physical abuse because the victim of gaslighting is more likely to remain in other abusive situations as well.

The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 British play “Gas Light” wherein a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy using a variety of tricks causing her to question her own perceptions and sanity. Gas Light was made into a movie both in 1940 and 1944.

Gaslighting Techniques and Examples

There are numerous gaslighting techniques which can make gaslighting more difficult to identify. Gaslighting techniques are used to hide truths that the abuser doesn’t want the victim to realize. Gaslighting abuse can be perpetrated by either women or men.

“Withholding” is one gaslighting technique where the abuser feigns a lack of understanding, refuses to listen and declines sharing his emotions. Gaslighting examples of this would be:1

“I’m not listening to that crap again tonight.”

“You’re just trying to confuse me.”

Another gaslighting technique is “countering,” where an abuser will vehemently call into question a victim’s memory in spite of the victim having remembered things correctly.

“Think about when you didn’t remember things correctly last time.”

“You thought that last time and you were wrong.”

These techniques throw the victim off the intended subject matter and make them question their own motivations and perceptions rather than the issue at hand.

It is then that the abuser will start to question the experiences, thoughts and opinions more globally through statements said in anger like:

“You see everything in the most negative way.”

“Well you obviously never believed in me then.”

“You have an overactive imagination.”

“Blocking” and “diverting” are gaslighting techniques whereby the abuser again changes the conversation from the subject matter to questioning the victim’s thoughts and controlling the conversation. Gaslighting examples of this include:

“I’m not going through that again.”

“Where did you get a crazy idea like that?”

“Quit bitching.”

“You’re hurting me on purpose.”

“Trivializing” is another way of gaslighting. It involves making the victim believe his or her thoughts or needs aren’t important, such as:

“You’re going to let something like that come between us?”

Abusive “forgetting” and “denial” can also be forms of gaslighting. In this technique, the abuser pretends to forget things that have really occurred; the abuser may also deny things like promises that have been made that are important to the victim. An abuser might say,

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t have to take this.”

“You’re making that up.”

Some gaslighters will then mock the victim for their “wrongdoings” and “misperceptions.”

Gaslighting Psychology

The gaslighting techniques are used in conjunction to try to make the victim doubt their own thoughts, memories and actions. Soon the victim is scared to bring up any topic at all for fear they are “wrong” about it or don’t remember the situation correctly.

The worst gaslighters will even create situations that allow for the usage of gaslighting techniques. An example of this is taking the victim’s keys from the place where they are always left, making the victim think she has misplaced them. Then “helping” the victim with her “bad memory” find the keys.

Are You a Victim of Gaslighting Emotional Abuse?

According to author and psychoanalyst Robin Stern, Ph.D., the signs of being a victim of gaslighting emotional abuse include:

You are constantly second-guessing yourself.

You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.

You often feel confused and even crazy at work.

You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss.

You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.

You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.

You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.

You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.

You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.

You have trouble making simple decisions.

You have the sense that you used to be a very different person - more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.

You feel hopeless and joyless.

You feel as though you can’t do anything right.

You wonder if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/wife/employee/ friend; daughter.

Today marks the 26th anniversary of the École Polytechnique massacre, in Montreal, Canada. A cowardly, misogynic act which left 14 promising women dead, simply because they were women:

Twenty-five-year-old Marc Lépine, armed with a Mini-14 rifle and a hunting knife, shot 28 people, killing 14 women, before committing suicide. He began his attack by entering a classroom at the university, where he separated the male and female students. After claiming that he was “fighting feminism” and calling the women “a bunch of feminists,” he shot all nine women in the room, killing six. He then moved through corridors, the cafeteria, and another classroom, specifically targeting women to shoot. Overall, he killed fourteen women and injured ten other women and four men in just under 20 minutes before turning the gun on himself.[1][2] His suicide note claimed political motives and blamed feminists for ruining his life. The note included a list of 19 Quebec women whom Lépine considered to be feminists and apparently wished to kill.[3]

After this despicable act, Canada adopted gun control measures. Since gun control measures were adopted there has not been another mass shooting killing more than 10 people in Canada. Since École Polytechnique there has only been 9 massacres in Canada; 9 in 26 years.

Please remember these women.

The only people I know with guns in Canada use it for recreation (target practice) or legitimately use it for their job (as my two uncles do as hunters).

Fact-check: Owning a gun has been linked to higher risks of homicide, suicide, and accidental death by gun.

• For every time a gun is used in self-defense in the home, there are 7 assaults or murders, 11 suicide attempts, and 4 accidents involving guns in or around a home.

• 43% of homes with guns and kids have at least one unlocked firearm.

• In one experiment, one third of 8-to-12-year-old boys who found a handgun pulled the trigger.

Myth #6: Carrying a gun for self-defense makes you safer.

Fact-check: In 2011, nearly 10 times more people were shot and killed in arguments than by civilians trying to stop a crime.

• In one survey, nearly 1% of Americans reported using guns to defend themselves or their property. However, a closer look at their claims found that more than 50% involved using guns in an aggressive manner, such as escalating an argument.

in 1989 on december 6th a 25 year old male entered the École Polytechnique de Montréal, an engineering school, with the intent to “fight feminism”. he made his way into a classroom and separated the male and female students, called the 9 women “a bunch of feminists” and shot the women, killing 6 of them. he advanced through the hallways, went into the cafeteria, another classroom, his only targets were women. at the end of it he killed 14 women, injured 10 other women, and injured 4 men all in under twenty minutes before turning the gun on himself. in his suicide note, this man claimed political motives and also blamed feminists for ruining his life which included a list of 19 women that he labeled as feminists and wanted kill.

december 6th in canada is known as National Day of Rememberance and Action on Violence Against Women where flags are flown at half-mast, a moment of silence is encouraged to be observed, and a white ribbon to be worn.

the victims names:

Geneviève Bergeron (born 1968), civil engineering student

Hélène Colgan (born 1966), mechanical engineering student

Nathalie Croteau (born 1966), mechanical engineering student

Barbara Daigneault (born 1967), mechanical engineering student

Anne-Marie Edward (born 1968), chemical engineering student

Maud Haviernick (born 1960), materials engineering student

Maryse Laganière (born 1964), budget clerk in the École Polytechnique’s finance department

Maryse Leclair (born 1966), materials engineering student

Anne-Marie Lemay (born 1967), mechanical engineering student

Sonia Pelletier (born 1961), mechanical engineering student

Michèle Richard (born 1968), materials engineering student

Annie St-Arneault (born 1966), mechanical engineering student

Annie Turcotte (born 1969), materials engineering student

Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (born 1958), nursing student

A summary of the throne speech today.

Key points: 

-Throne speech promise to legalize and regulate marijuana

-inquiry into missing and murdered indigenous women & implement TRC recommendations

-government won’t use partisan ads/prorogue government/use omnibus bills

-2015 will be the last election under first past the post

-there will be bills brought by the government to combat domestic violence /sexual assault, & get handguns & weapons off the streets.

-government will support the CBC.

A Moving Statute of Love

The statues, designed and built by Tamara Studio in 2007, represent the main characters in one of the region’s most celebrated love stories.

The large-scale piece features a man and a woman made of metal slats. At first, the statues face each other. After a while, they begin moving closer and closer to one another. They continue moving forward until they have a brief moment of contact, but this concept of closeness is short lived, because they don’t stop when they meet. Instead, they continue on their paths until they move right through each other.